Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Movie review of We bought a zoo


We bought a zoo - 6/10
Directed by Cameron Crowe
Cast - Matt Damon, Scarlett Johansson, Thomas Hayden Church

Plot Summary
Set in Southern California, a father moves his young family to the countryside to renovate and re-open a struggling zoo.

Review
I was alittle apprehensive on watching the latest Cameron Crowe flick cause his last one, Elizabethtown featuring Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom was fuckall.But this one has Matt Damon in it and so far he hasn't disappointed me yet on his choice of roles.Surprisingly, We bought a zoo was fun,touching and a feel good movie which is based on a true story.There is nothing great or fantastic about this movie but what I enjoyed was its simple approach to story telling.Nothing extravagant,no special effects and what not.
Casting was pretty good,I have to say. Matt Damon did a great job acting as a single father bringing up two kids whilst coping the loss of his wife.He was funny and convincingly touching in his scenes except for one scene where he attempts to cry while looking at pictures of his wife on a laptop.He looked like he was taking a shit instead of crying.That was bad man... Jason Bourne doesn't cry.haha. Well overall he did a great job and I don't think any other actor could have done it. Scarlett Johansson and Thomas Hayden Church were pretty much fillers for this movie.They weren't fucked up or anything.It was just that the focus of this movie was solely on Matt Damon's character and his two kids.Colin Ford and Mary Elizabeth Jones acted as Dylan and Rosie Mee.The kids acted very well and Mary Elizabeth Jones is a very cute kid who lights up the screen every time she is in it.
The editing was done well,I liked how some of the scenes were put together. Cinematography was simple and nice.Direction was good.I dare to say,Cameron Crowe is back and I hope he continues to do movies like this.

Worth watching with your family or loved ones on a weekend.

Best quotes
Benjamin Mee: You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.

Recommended movies done by the director
Jerry Maguire
Vanilla Sky
Almost Famous

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Movie review of Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol


Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol - 7.5/10
Directed by Brad Bird
Cast - Tom Cruise, Simon Pegg, Jeremy Renner, Michael Nyqvist, Paul Patton,Anil Kapoor

Plot Summary
The IMF is shut down when it's implicated in the bombing of the Kremlin, causing Ethan Hunt and his new team to go rogue to clear their organization's name.

Review
I have to admit,for a movie franchise which is on its 4th movie.The Mission Impossible franchise seems to be getting better and better.Of the first three movies,I enjoyed the 3rd one alot because it was a great action film and its directed by J.J Abrams. I hated the 2nd one which was John Woo.And of course the first one is a classic spy movie done by De Palma.At first I was a little skeptical cause J.J Abrams wasn't directing this, he was only producing it.Brad Bird of The Incredibles fame was directing this fourth installment.But all my skepticism went through the door once the movie started.Ghost Protocol was definitely one of the best action films this year.From the get go,there is non stop excitement.I was so into the movie that I kept moving,dodging and wriggling through out all of the action scenes. Storyline was very interesting even though I felt it was alittle too long especially the Mumbai scenes. Some of the stunts were even performed by Tom Cruise as well.
Acting wise,I felt everyone did a pretty decent job.Cruise was cool as always.Simon Pegg was the comedian and he delivered his lines funnily.New guy Jeremy Renner of Hurt Locker fame was pretty cool.I guess he would be an apt replacement for Tom Cruise when he decides to stop as Ethan Hunt.The villain acted by Michael Nyqvist of the original Girl with the Dragon Tattoo fame was ok but just wasn't that villainous enough.The best villain of the entire Mission Impossible series would definitely go to Phillip Seymour Hoffman in MI3 without a doubt.Paul Patton was bad.That scene where she was trying to cry was very painful to watch.I was very happy to see Anil Kapoor being slapped and beaten by a woman.He was horrible.What the fuck is wrong with that fucktard? that whole scene where he was trying to act cute and woo Paul Patton was excruciating.I was embarrassed for being an Indian on that day.
Direction was brilliant.Kudos to Brad Bird for this.I also like the cinematography.Alot of shots were breathtakingly beautiful.
Overall,Ghost Protocol was well made and really fun to watch.

Definitely worth watching on a weekend.

Best Quotes
Benji Dunn: Now remember: "Blue is glue!".
Ethan Hunt: And red?
Benji Dunn: Dead.

Ethan Hunt: Mission accomplished!

Recommended movies done by the director
The Incredibles
The Iron Giant

Monday, December 12, 2011

Movie review of Warrior


Warrior - 4.5/10
Directed by Gavin O'Connor
Cast - Tom hardy, Nick Nolte, Joel Edgerton

Plot Summary
The youngest son (Hardy) of an alcoholic former boxer (Nolte) returns home, where he's trained by his father for competition in a mixed martial arts tournament -- a path that puts the fighter on a collision corner with his older brother (Edgerton).

Review
This could have been a great movie.What could have been a good storyline was fucked up by too many cliches,plot holes,continuity and an inkling of an idea of what is Mixed martial Arts about.
First the competition,there is no fucking way a fighter fights so many matches in a space of few days.That is just stupid.If they had written like say one match per month,at least that is alittle more believable.They could have added training scenes and other family bonding or emotional scenes along.It would have been definitely better.The writers could have made more use of Hardy and Edgerton instead of just fighting.And both are pretty decent actors.
I really enjoyed how Hardy and Edgerton acted as brothers that were torn apart and all but unfortunately that was just in one scene which kinda came out of nowhere.They just both happened to be at a beach???
You also briefly see scenes about the history of both brothers.Younger brother joined the marines but went AWOL,He comes back and fights in a national televised fighting event.Apparently no one knows who and where he came from but at the finals,they knew him and he was gonna kenna charged from the marines but they allowed him to fight first.Really???
Since when did the military do shit like that? Elder brother on the other hand,is a Physics teacher in school and all but he has a family and house bills and shit to pay so he gets suspended from school because he fought in some underground fighting thingy and then decides to join the same national televised event to win 5 millions bucks.And their father is a recovering alcoholic who happened to beat their mother to death or some shit like that.That is just too much shit to take in a 140mins movie.I don't know why people are giving so much praise to Nolte's performance.It was no Mickey Rourke's The Wrestler nor was it a Christian Bale's The Fighter performance.It was shit.Nick Nolte is a lanjiao actor.He's either mumbling gibberish or he is barking like a junkyard dog filled with ticks.Fuck him. Even Kurt Angle(former WWE wrestler) who acts as a Russian fighter(and I don't think he spoke) did a better job acting.
I did like the fight choreography but sadly even that was ruined by shitty camera work and editing.Whats with the fucking split screens?
Like I said earlier, This could have been a great movie.

My advice to the director and writers of this movie is simple. Its either you go the Rocky approach or you go the Rocky 2,3,4 approach.You cant have both.Because if you do,it will suck just like Rocky 5.

Just wait for the DVD release to watch this.

Best Quotes
Brendan Conlon: I know this isn't a great time. And it's too bad about Marco. But what about me?
Frank Campana: You talking about Sparta? Brendan, please. You got a better chance of starting a boy band.

Tom Conlon: Not much of a woman's touch around here.
Paddy Conlon: No women for me anymore, Tommy.
Tom Conlon: Yeah. Must be tough to find a girl who could take a punch nowadays.

Tom Conlon: So you found God, huh? That's awesome. See, Mom kept calling out for him but he wasn't around. I guess Jesus was down at the mill forgiving all the drunks. Who knew?

Recommended movies done by the director
Pride and Glory
Miracle

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Movie Review of Immortals


Immortals - 5.5/10
Directed by Tarsem Singh
Cast - Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, Stephen Dorff, Freida Pinto

Plot Summary
Theseus is a mortal man chosen by Zeus to lead the fight against the ruthless King Hyperion, who is on a rampage across Greece to obtain a weapon that can destroy humanity.

Review
I was looking forward to this as I am a big fan of Greek mythology.And after watching the trailers, I thought it did look pretty impressive.But after the movie ended,I was a little disappointed and thought that it could have been better...much better.
What I was most impressed with Immortals were the costumes and the backdrop.They were beautifully designed,it really was breath taking to watch.If they only paid a little more attention to that plot as well.As for the acting,the cast is relatively new except for the old horse Mickey Rourke.Sadly acting does look a little weak.The main guy, Theseus portrayed by Henry Cavill doesn't seem confident in his role.I don't really recall any movies he was in but I figure he got the role cause he has a pretty awesome body. I didn't recognize Stephen Dorff in this movie right until the credits.He was decent but I wished he had more screen time though.Even Mickey Rourke looks bored.Half the fuck time he is mumbling his lines.Despite that,he still does a villain role well.I just do not like his helmet.The pundei who designed that must have a infatuation with rabbits cause Rourke looks like an Easter bunny or a tripped out version of Donnie Darko's rabbit.Frieda Pinto was doing ok right until she started bawling.She cant cry for shit,I tell you.But there is a scene where she strips and if you are watching this in a cinema,her ass is so close,it will cover half the screen.And the woman has a pretty nice ass.
What got me disappointed, was the pacing of the movie,it was inconsistent.Camera works was bad as well.There are some continuity mistakes and some scenes,you will wonder why and what the fuck just happened? Could be,they had to edit certain scenes for timing? I do not know.But it wasn't good.Also there wasn't a really proper explanation to the characters.I didn't even know who the fuck was Heracles.It took me awhile to spot Aries and Poseidon.Poseidon's helmet looks like a fruit fly for some weird reason.The end fight scene between the gods and titans was pretty cool.You will enjoy it if you enjoy the fight sequences in 300.
I guess Tarsem did a decent job for the Immortals.It was beautiful to watch no doubt but sadly it is forgettable as well.

All in all,I would recommend watching Immortals on a weekday unless you are a big fan of Tarsem Singh's movies.

Best Quotes
Hyperion: Witness Hell.

Recommended movies done by the director
The Cell

Monday, November 21, 2011

Movie Review of Tower Heist


Tower Heist - 1/10
Directed by a cunt called Brett Ratner
Cast - Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Alan Alda, Tea Leoni

Plot Summary
When a group of hard working guys find out they've fallen victim to a wealthy business man's Ponzi scheme, they conspire to rob his high-rise residence.

Review
Time and time, I have repeatedly said, Brett Ratner is a fuckall director.And once again I am right.Tower Heist is a fucking disaster.If it was marketed to be a comedy.then it has failed cause I couldn't even muster a smile through out the movie.If it was marketed to be a heist movie,it has failed as well cause the heist was ridiculously stupid.It is more ridiculous than watching a Tamil movie with Rajnikanth in it.
Why in blue hell did Alan Alda agree to this movie? Eddie Murphy doing this shit movie is pretty much understood cause his movies have been shit for the last ten years.And sadly Ben Stiller is slowly becoming the next Adam Sandler cause his movies have been shit as well.What the fuck were they thinking? These guys used to be good comedians. Why cant they tell from the script that it wasn't funny??
Direction for this movie is rubbish. The flow of the movie is shit.There were so many absurd plot holes.A 45 million gold car being shoved into an elevator shaft or to the top of the roof???? Really??? Editing was horrible.Acting was bad.And someone should beat the script writers to death with a stick.Worst fucking script ever.

Do not even bother paying money or even downloading this worthless crap. Don't even bother.And Fuck you Brett.

Best quotes
None.Script is shit.

Recommended movies done by the director
just watch Rush Hour.The rest is shit.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Movie review of Bad Teacher


Bad Teacher - 3/10
Directed by Jake Kasdan
Cast - Justin Timberlake, Cameron Diaz,Jason Segel

Plot Summary
A comedy centered around a foul-mouthed, junior high teacher who, after being dumped by her sugar daddy, begins to woo a colleague -- a move that pits her against a well-loved teacher.

Review
I always thought Cameron Diaz has lost it but thinking back I just realized that she never had anything to begin with.there is not one movie I can think of she has acted well.Most of her movies are shit and all her movies are banking on her looks.Sadly nowadays, a melted plastic bag looks better than her Botox ridden face. Every time she comes on screen, I start to cringe. The only saving grace in this movie was surprisingly Justin Tmberlake. As much as I hated the fucker,he is slowly establishing himself as a pretty decent actor.The doggy dry humping scene with jeans was the only hilarious scene in this movie.Jason Segel was pretty ok in this movie.I would say he was consistent actually but he does get a little boring. Direction for this movie was ok. The flow was pretty boring as fuck.Editing was done ok only. I didn't like the script, it was cliche and dull. They should have put more focus on that instead of Cameron Diaz.

All in all, Bad teacher is a forgettable movie and if you have missed this in the cinema, it doesn't really matter cause nobody gives two shits about Cameron Diaz anyway.

Best quote
Shawn: LeBron is a better rebounder and passer.
Russell Gettis: LeBron will never beat Jordan. Call me when LeBron has six championships.
Shawn: That's your only argument?
Russell Gettis: It's the only argument I need Shawn!

Recommended movies done by the director
Walk Hard:the Dewey Cox Story

Movie review of Attack the block


Attack the block - 6/10
Directed by Joe Cornish
Cast - John Boyega, Jodie Whitaker, Alex Esmail, Nick Frost

Plot Summary
A teen gang in South London defend their block from an alien invasion.

Review
I took a gamble watching this movie solely because Nick Frost( Hot fuzz and Shaun of the dead fame) was in it. I didn't realize however he was only in a supporting role. Nevertheless,I was pleasantly surprised by the movie.Even though Attack the block is purely British and has a relatively low budget.I felt it was done pretty well.Kudos to the director,Joe Cornish for this.Cast for this movie is pretty much unknown except for Nick Frost.But interestingly there was a bit of chemistry.Acting was a little mediocre but acceptable due to the cast being young and all.
The plot is pretty simple and has a traditional alien comes to Earth plot. The design for the aliens is not bad I guess but the furry look doesn't really hack it for me.The script was decent and has some pretty cool lines but the slang is so thick, I'm pretty sure lots of people will find it hard to comprehend. Even I, had to get used to the way they talk. Fifteen mins through the movie,I got used to the slang and started to understand the lingo. I don't think alot of people might enjoy this movie because of this.

Recommended only for those who enjoy British movies if not give Attack the block a miss.

Best Quotes
Probs: No one is going to call you Mayhem if you keep acting like such a pussy

Jerome: This is too much madness to fit into one text!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Movie review of I saw the Devil


I saw the Devil - 8.5/10
Directed by Jee Woon Kim
Cast - Lee Byung Hun, Choi Min Sik

Plot Summary
When his pregnant fiancee becomes the latest victim of a serial killer, a secret agent blurs the line between good and evil in his pursuit of revenge.

Review
This is definitely by far the best Korean movie I have seen.Korean movies do not have much of an impact for me as how Japanese movies do.But there are some that make the cut for me.I enjoyed A Bittersweet life, The good the bad and the weird(both done by the director) and Chan Park Woo's revenge trilogy(sympathy for Mr/Lady Vengeance and Old Boy.But of them all I saw the Devil takes the cake.The colour treatment is fantastic.Great editing and direction for this movie was excellent.I loved the pacing for this movie.Even though the script is in Korean,judging from the way the actors say it and the subtitles,I felt the script was good.I have to admit the violence in this movie is a little thought provoking and maybe a little uncomfortable for women.There was one particular scene which involves a certain body part which made me cringe and I had a sleepless night after that.The interesting thing about I saw the devil is its not just about the violence factor,the characters portrayed by the two main actors were fucking brilliant. Lee Byung Hun is now my favourite Korean actor and followed closely is Choi Min Sik. So far I have enjoyed Lee's movies except for GI Joe(stick to Korean movies,buddy).Choi on the other hand,I have only seen him in Old boy.I'm pretty sure no other Korean actors could do the characters like how these two guys did.There is so much chemistry between them. I will definitely watch the next movie they are in. I would have given a 9 for this movie except for just one scene that kinda annoyed me a little towards the end.I guess they kinda ran out of idea on how to end it.

All in all,I would recommend this movie to those who have a open mind and appreciate violence done rather artistically. If you are the type who are judgmental about movies and bitch,whine,complain about the violence or shit like that.Don't bother with this movie and go fuck yourself.

Movies done by the director
A bittersweet Life
The Good the bad and the weird

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Movie Review of Conan The Barbarian


Conan the barbarian - 2.5/10
Directed by Marcus Nispel
Cast - Jason Momoa, Rose Mcgowan,Ron Perlman,Stephen Lang

Plot Summary
The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.

Review
When I first watched Conan the barbarian (1982) starring Arnold Schwarzenegger,I was awed. I remember when I was a kid I pretended I was Conan and played with a toy sword just like how Arnie did it at the scene where he was practicing at the mountain top. Over the years when I watched Conan again and again,I will always remember classic lines like "Crom!, to hell with you! and "crush your enemies,see them driven before you and hear the lamentation of the women". Sadly when I watched the 2011 version I did not feel any form of nostalgia at all. Instead I just felt disappointed.Yet another movie of my childhood is ruined.
In 1982 Conan wields a heavy mean ass broad sword.In 2011, Conan has a faggot looking sword and wields it like a bow legged theater dancer who has stage fright. Jason Momoa is a good Conan.even though he can be no where as close to Arnie but still good enough.(and he has an awesome ass). I just wish he would stop jumping around like a pansy during the fight scenes.As for villains, you have James Earl Jones aka Darth fucking Vader as Thulsa Doom. yea...ok he might have had a silly haircut for that movie but he had a very scary stare unlike Stephan Lang who was fantastic as the bad colonel in Avatar but was shit in Conan.Rose Mcgowan was a fucking waste of space.Her make up made her look like a Gothic Wong Fei Hung (once upon a time in China).The damsel in distress was annoying as well.I wished someone had killed her halfway through the movie.
The violence in this movie was good.lots of blood and bashing of skulls is likened to watermelons being crushed.yup its that easy apparently.I hated the pace of the movie,it was just too fucking fast and editing was bad as well.

Crom is most displeased and wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone. If you have never heard of Conan,just go rent the 1982 version.

Best Quotes

Conan: You have a name?
Tamara: Tamara Amalia Jorvi-Karashan. And yours?
Conan: Conan.
Tamara: [pause] Conan... that's it?
Conan: How many names do I need?

Movies done by the director
Pathfinder

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Movie review of Cowboys and Aliens


Cowboys and Aliens - 4.5/10
Directed by Jon Favereau Cast - Daniel Craig,Harrison Ford,Olivia Wilde,Sam Rockwell

Plot Summary
A spaceship arrives in Arizona, 1873, to take over the Earth, starting with the Wild West region. A posse of cowboys and natives are all that stand in their way.

Review
I really thought this movie could be fun to watch especially with a simple title like cowboys and aliens.I got to admit,it is a pretty interesting idea and it would have been a pretty interesting movie had it not been for laziness.The director and script writers just got lazy.Plain and simple.There were so many plot holes to a point it just got fucking silly.I really hate it when I watch a movie with a good start and it ends like fuck.The good thing is the fault is not with the actors as they have done a pretty decent job.Harrison Ford is getting really old...and he looks really old...but he did alright.Daniel Craig somehow hid his British accent by talking as little as possible and was damn cool as usual.The James Bond in him hasn't left yet.ha ha.I was surprised to see Paul Dano at the start of the movie.The way he acted was like doing some leftover bits he had in "There will be blood".Sadly you wont get to see him much after that.
Somewhere down the middle is when the director and the scriptwriters got lazy.I know its supposed to be a "leave your brains at home and just enjoy the action" kinda movie but sometimes a little closure would be nice.We wont really know the full extent on why the aliens are here.They are taking a certain material but for what,we wouldn't know.Humans to them are minuscule but they still keep hostages and shit.OK..well to learn shit from us,EVEN though they underestimate us and think we are "insects".By the way,designers for the alien said they wanted something between Alien and Predator but the alien just looked like a fucking tortoise or a terrapin.Oh it has another pair of softer hands to touch little boys as well.And then you have Olivia Wilde's character,Ella coming in, saying shit,getting killed,being burnt,coming back to life and saying shit again. I got really weird when she who could have been a he but a definite it, kissed Daniel Craig.
Then the Apache Indians and Daniel Craig's old gang comes into the foray. How he found them(the gang) a second time out of sheer luck annoyed me.
But the thing that pissed the fuck out of me the most was this fucking bird/insect thing that kept flying to Daniel Craig's face twice in the movie.WHAT THE FUCK was that all about? What was that supposed to be?? Tinkerbell's mother??

Like I said,Cowboys and Aliens did have a good start but started getting sloppy and to a certain point stupid. Definitely not worth watching on a weekend.Wait for the DVD release.

Movies done by the director
Made
Iron Man
Iron Man 2

Best Quotes
Ella: If it's all the same, I would like to ride along too.
Meacham: Yes, ma'am. We've got a kid, a dog, why not a woman?

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Movie review of Horrible Bosses


Horrible Bosses - 7.5/10
Directed by Seth Gordon
Cast - Jason Bateman,Charlie Day,Jason Sudeikis,Kevin Spacey,Colin Farrell,Jennifer Anniston

Plot Summary
Three friends conspire to murder their awful bosses when they realize they are standing in the way of their happiness.

Review
Never watch this movie with a hangover or lack of sleep because you will be laughing so hard and continuously till you really feel even worse when the movie ends.Unfortunately for me,I did watch this movie with a bad hangover and "suffered".
I got to say,this is a pretty interesting cast. it was pretty clear,everyone was having a good time doing this movie from the blooper reel at the credits.And the good thing about this movie is the chemistry everyone has no matter how big or small the roles were. I usually hate watching Jennifer Anniston's movie cause its always about love and she is always acting like a goody two shoe who doesn't swear or shit like that.In Horrible Bosses however,she swears like a motherfucker and shows off her body quite abit.Kevin Spacey was perfect for this role. He really showed how much of an asshole,how ruthless or even untrustworthy a person can be.I loved how he reacts when he gets a surprise birthday party.that shot alone was vintage Spacey.Colin Farrell was fucking hilarious in his role as a coked up son of a business man who happens to be Donald Sutherland.Even though I think some of his scenes were cut by the whores of the censorship board,Farrell's scenes were funny.In fact just by looking at the fella,you are bound to laugh.He really does remind me of Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder.
The three main actors,Bateman,Day and Sudeikis were definitely perfect in their roles.Some people may find Charlie Day as alittle annoying perhaps cause of his voice but I think he was hilarious especially the scene where he was singing in the car. I was laughing so hard even till the scene was over.I probably think Sudeikis has done the most improv in the movie cause some of the shit he says is just fucking funny.Bateman has always been funny ever since Arrested Development (which happens to be my favourite comedy) and I will continue watching his movies.
Even the cameos by Jamie Foxx and Loan Gruffudd(Mr Fantastic) were fucking hilarious.
Script was fantastic and direction was pretty good as well.I did like the flow of the movie despite the abrupt cuts made by the whores.

Its a really funny movie,but if you are the type who gets offended by vulgarities...fuck off. Worth watching this movie on a weekend.

Best quotes

Bobby Pellitt: I'm a green belt, motherfucker!

Dave Harken: You can't win a marathon without putting some bandaids on your nipples!

Kurt Buckman: [after seeing a picture of Harken's Wife] I'd like to bend her over a barrel and show her the fifty states.

Detective Hagan: You wanna explain why you were speeding?
Nick Hendricks: I was drag racing.
Detective Hagan: In a Prius?
Nick Hendricks: I don't win a lot.

Dale Arbus: Why did you put his entire bathroom in your ass?

Monday, August 1, 2011

Movie review of Transformers 3 Dark of the moon


Transformers 3 Dark of the moon - 3/10
Directed by Michael Bay
Cast - Shia Lebouf,Rosie Huntington Whiteley,John Tuturro,Tyrese Gibson

Plot Summary
The Autobots learn of a Cybertronian spacecraft hidden on the Moon, and race against the Decepticons to reach it and to learn its secrets.

Review
I watched this movie with zero expectation and yet still I was disappointed.And I had to watch this movie in 3D on a weekend some more.Ok,I knew what I was getting myself into,after watching Transformers 2.(Transformer heaven,really???).Megan Fox did the right thing and left this stupid franchise.And the new British actress who looks like a Steven Tyler looking transvestite.Half the fuck time,you can see shots of her being glorified.5 mins of that should be enough but every 5 fucking mins is just way too much.And who the fuck is she to call Megatron a bitch? Sadly Megatron was a bitch in the end....sigh...Oh yea by the way..Megatron transforms to a Mad Max looking truck wears a rag on his fucking head so he will look moody and shit. Optimus on the other hand has all kinds of weapons upgrade and finally some use of the container and all.Ok, that I thought was pretty cool.But being the retard,Michael made him to be,he gets fucking entangled on some cables all by himself.That...not cool.
Ironhide had a cool intro but a rather Boba Fett death. Soundwave which happens to be my favourite Decepticon became a Mercedes car from a satellite.For some reason,Bumblebee still cant talk,(wasn't that fixed in part 2?) The new bad guys were Sentinel Prime and Shockwave.Shockwave mumbles when he talks and has some weird worm like shit with him that destroys buildings.I'm gonna say its his penis.
Shia Lebouf throughout the entire movie was a fucking annoying cunt. Half the fuck time,he is talking jibberish or shouting jibberish. Script was definitely used as toilet paper.
There were so many holes in the plot and so many unnecessary scenes in this movie.one example, John Malkovich.
The whole building and the parachute jumpers scenes are the only parts of the movie I enjoyed.The chase scenes was familiar because there are some shots taken from another Bay movie called The Island.

I sincerely hope that whoever that is responsible for this,should discontinue this franchise.And Michael cheeBay should just stick to Bad Boys part 4,5,6 cause no one watches Martin Lawrence.

Best Quotes
Megatron: All hail Megatron!

Lennox: What the hell was that?
Optimus Prime: That, is Shockwave.

Recommended movies done by the director
Bad Boys
Armageddon
The Rock

Movie review of Captain America


Captain America - 8/10
Directed by Joe Johnston
Cast - Chris Evans,Tommy Lee Jones,Hugo Weaving, Hayley Atwell,Stanley Tucci

Plot Summary
After being deemed unfit for military service, Steve Rogers volunteers for a top secret research project that turns him into Captain America, a superhero dedicated to defending America's ideals.

Review
Definitely one of the better super hero movies done recently.Good story,good acting and followed closed to the comics as well. I thoroughly enjoyed myself watching Captain America.
I was initially alittle apprehensive about Chris Evans as the main actor.I liked him as the human torch and all but as the first avenger,I thought he would be alittle too fumy for it.But he did a great job.I liked the casting for this movie,it was just nice.Tommy Lee Jones was perfect for the role as Colonel.He had some pretty funny lines which did made the whole cinema laugh. I was most impressed with was none other than Hugo Weaving.The man was born to act as iconic villains.From his accent,to his haircut to his costumes and all.He was perfect as Red Skull. Heil Hydra! hahaha.Ok the salute was alittle silly.
Direction was pretty good and I loved the flow of the movie as well.And for once the plot stayed true to the comics. I just wished there was more scenes with Red Skull pitting against Captain America though.Perhaps maybe Loki brings him back in the upcoming Avengers movie? who knows eh.

All in all,Captain America was good and fun to watch.Worth watching on a weekend.Don't bother with the 3D though.

Best Quotes
Steve Rogers: [after being injected in the arm] That wasn't so bad.
Abraham Erskine: That was the penicillin.

[Schmidt and Zola go to the rooftop, where a one-man escape helicopter is waiting]
Dr. Arnim Zola: But, where will I sit?
Johann Schmidt: [hands the key to his car to Zola] Not one scratch, Doctor.

Nick Fury: Sorry about that. I was trying to break it to you slowly.
Steve Rogers: Break what?
Nick Fury: You've been asleep for almost 70 years.
[Steve is silent with shock]
Nick Fury: You alright?
Steve Rogers: Yeah. It's just... I had a date.

Recommended movies done by the director
Rocketeer
Jumanji
Hidalgo

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Movie review of 13 Assassins


13 Assassins - 8.5/10
Directed by Takashi Miike
Cast - Kôji Yakusho, Takayuki Yamada, Gorô Inagaki

Plot Summary
A group of assassins come together for a suicide mission to kill an evil lord.

Review
There are three Japanese directors whose movies I will religiously follow.The late Akira Kurosawa,the legendary Takeshi Kitano and of course Takashi Miike.13 assassins is the latest by Takashi Miike and I have waited for a long time to watch this movie.When I first saw the trailer,I knew this director will not let me down.And at the end of the movie,I was not disappointed with it,not one single bit.Miike's direction is fantastic.I loved the colouring of the film.It gave a surreal feel to the movie.Blood and violence is always quite abundant with Miike's movie and 13 assassins was one of them.but the violence was done rather beautifully I have to add.Fight choreography was pretty realistic and not too over the top.Acting was top notch.I simply loved the casting.From the leader to the assassins to the villain.Every actor played their parts to perfection.
There was one particular scene involving a tortured girl.I have to admit I was alittle disturbed by it but I got to say that scene was a Takashi Miike trademark.It was a little sadistic but in a very artistic way.You have to watch that scene to understand.But then again only fans of Takashi Miike would probably get it.The plot and build up to the crucial part of the story was indeed well made.I really liked the introductions of all 13 warriors,even though it was brief but it was enough to understand what each character is about.I also have to say how Miike ended the movie is Japanese cinema at its best.A real classy yet brutal ending.This is definitely one of the best movies I have watched this year.
Sadly this movie may never be shown in our cinemas because its not the mainstream teeny boppy melodrama bullshit Japanese or Korean movies they rather show.
If you enjoy movies during the samurai era or revenge movies,I would highly recommend 13 Assassins.Get it by any means necessary cause its a fucking fantastic movie.

Recommended movies by the director
Iichi the killer
Audition
Sukiyaki Western Django
Dead or Alive trilogy

Movie review of Priest


Priest - 2/10
Directed by Scott Charles Stewart
Cast - Paul Bettany,Maggie Q,Karl Urban,Christopher Plummer

Plot Summary
A priest disobeys church law to track down the vampires who kidnapped his niece.

Review
I was looking forward to this movie,a friend of mine told me it was crap so I decided to watch it at home instead.I was tempted by the trailer and I did enjoy Bettany's acting until now.Priest is definitely up there in one of the top worst movies for this year.The acting was horrendous.Why oh why did Paul Bettany take up this movie? what did Scott Charles Stewart do to get Bettany to be in his second movie.This is the fucker who did Legion.At least Legion was bearable,it had a good start but fucked up in the end.But Priest was fuckall from the get go.Definitely one of the worst introduction of characters or story ever.And the ending is so fucking abrupt,I was like,"what the fuck? That's it??"
I knew Karl Urban would make a good bad guy but he choose the wrong movie to be one.A priest turned vampire who wears a fucking worn out cowboy hat.Really??? Wow...
Maggie Q,well.. she was pretty much acting like how she has acted in her other movies,just another pretty face with no substance but just legs.
I'm also pretty sure the script was written by some who is mildly retarded.What kinda lanjiao lines are these? Priest: You make a good priest. Guy:Thanks. Priest:don't get that over your head. What The fuck was that????
I sincerely hope Jennifer Connelly(Paul Bettany's wife) would slap some fucking sense into this idiot so he would stop choosing shit movies like Priest.And fuck you Scott Charles Stewart for possibly ruining Bettany's career and wasting my fucking time and bandwidth for this shit.

Do not even bother with this shit movie. Go watch Paul instead. Fuck the Priest.

Recommended movies done by the director
Legion

movie Review of Paul


Paul - 7.5/10
Directed by Greg Mottola
Cast - Simon Pegg,Nick Frost,Seth Rogen,Sigourney Weaver,Jason Bateman

Plot Summary
Two British comic-book geeks traveling across the U.S. encounter an alien outside Area 51.

Review
Yet another Simon Pegg/Nick Frost collaboration but this time its not part of their Blood and Ice cream series.I loved Shaun of the dead and Hot fuzz and I couldn't wait to watch this movie.And as expected,I thoroughly enjoyed the movie.Paul has so many classic movie references,you will definitely laugh.If you weren't a movie buff,Paul would not be as enjoyable.There were so many times,I was the only fucker laughing in the cinema out loud cause I discovered yet another cool movie reference.
Kudos to Greg Mottola of Superbad fame who does a decent job directing.
Editing for Paul was fantastic.The cuts were perfect for the comedic timings.The script was pretty good but doesn't come close to the sheer brilliance of Shaun of the dead's script.The pro evolution scenes were well done.If Christians cant take a joke(they usually don't) then they should give this movie a miss.
The chemistry between Pegg and Frost is proven and fantastic.Their comedic timing are impeccable.Despite a rather slow start,you will be warmed up to Paul and midway through,you will be hooked to it.Jason Bateman,Bill Hader and Jo Lo Truglio as the cops after Paul,were fucking funny as well.But like the movie,it'll take awhile to get used to them.Cameos from Sigourney Weaver and Jeffery Tambour were cool as well.Seth Rogen did a good job voice acting Paul the weed smoking,beer drinking,vulgar alien. I thought I would be annoyed by his voice ever since Green Hornet,but it never did.Apparently he had to ask advice from Andy Serkis about doing the proper movements and voice.

Worth watching on a weekend if you are a Sci-Fi movie buff.You will not regret it.

Best Quotes

Paul: [Lighting a joint and takes a hit] Do you guys partake?
Graeme Willy: No. Thank you.
Ruth Buggs: I'll partake.
Paul: Are you sure? It's pretty strong shit. I get it from the military. I think this is the stuff that killed Dylan.
Graeme Willy: Bob Dylan's not dead.
Paul: [smiles] Isn't he?

Graeme Willy: [while under the impression that Clive and he are being chased by rednecks] This is just like Deliverance!

Agent Zoil: Motherfuckin' tittysuckin' two-balled bitch!

Recommended movies done by the director
Superbad

Movie Review of Thor


Thor - 7/10
Directed by Kenneth Branagh
Cast - Chris Hemsworth,Natalie Portman,Tom Hiddleston,Anthony Hopkins,Idris Elba

Plot Summary
The powerful but arrogant warrior Thor is cast out of the fantastic realm of Asgard and sent to live amongst humans on Earth,where he soon becomes one of their finest defenders.

Review
I watched this movie when it was released but hadn't the time to do a review for it so here it is now.Now I'm not a big fan of Thor comics so I wouldn't know much of him,just the basics like he is from Asgarth and he is Odin's son.The movie did give me a little bit more insight of the character but its best to read the comics.
Its very unusual of Kenneth Branagh to do a movie like this.I got to say he did a pretty decent job.Casing wise however I think is much to be desired.Chris Hemsworth as Thor was good.I do not know much about Chris and the only other movie I can remember him was in Star Trek.He was James T.Kirk's father.Apparently he over bulked up for Thor and had to downsize abit so as to be able to wear the costumes.His acting is pretty decent and I would like to see him in other movies.Anthony Hopkins looks very bored and very old in this.Perhaps,another actor who is slightly younger should have done the role of Odin instead.Natalie Portman was annoying.Half the fuck time she is whining or screaming.And I don't know why but ever since Black Swan,its like she has done about 3000 movies cause I see her in almost every movie in the cinema now.The best actor for this movie is definitely Tom Hiddleston as Loki.It was such a pleasure every time he comes on screen.I havent seen any of his movies,but judging from his performance for Thor,expect big roles for this guy.I do not know why Hollywood has to be so fucking politically correct and all that bullshit..I mean for fuck sake..getting Idris Elba as Heimdall the guardian of Asgard? Have you ever seen a black Viking or a black god in Valhalla? COME ON!!! even in the movie,he has the worst job..fucker is supposed to be a guardian but so many people have sneaked in and out of Asgard.
The designs and visuals for Asgard is really beautiful and well done.Even though I despise watching movies in 3D,I could imagine these scenes in 3D to be pretty cool.Direction as mentioned earlier was a pretty decent job.The script was good.the few light hearted scenes were funny.Even the standard Stan Lee cameo was funny.Editing was done nicely and the camera works and cinematography was good.
All in all if you are a fan of comics and The Avengers,you should watch this movie.
Also do not forget to watch the scene after the credits.

Best quotes
Thor: This mortal form grows weak. I require sustenance!

Clint Barton: You better call it Coulson, cause I'm starting to root for this guy.

Agent Cale: [staring at a moving suit of armour] Is that one of Stark's?
Agent Phil Coulson: I don't know. That guy never tells me anything...

Recommended movies done by the director
Much Ado about nothing

Monday, April 11, 2011

movie review of Rango


Rango - 8.5/10
Directed by Gore Verbinski
Cast - Johnny Depp, Isla Fisher,Ray Winstone,Bill Nighy

Plot Summary
Rango is an ordinary chameleon who accidentally winds up in the town of Dirt, a lawless outpost in the Wild West in desperate need of a new sheriff.

Review
What a fantastic animated movie.It has been a while since I laughed so hard almost every 5 mins.I was pleasantly surprised.I simply loved the script.Definitely one of the best script for an animated movie.Not only has the main characters have some really funny lines,I felt the other characters had some really good scenes as well.Johnny Depp was definitely suited to be Rango.I doubt there is no one quirky enough to do the role.Bill Nighy and Ray Winstone were absolutely brilliant as the bad guys.And their voices are so recognizable.
I managed to watch the making of and it was a very interesting way of filming an animated movie with motion captures and all.and all the cast were involved together unlike the traditional voice acting.
Now not only were the voice acting and script fantastic ,I got to say the animation department did a fine job as well.I'm not really an animation fan,but Rango took the cake for me.Right from the characters appearance, to the close ups and the textures as well.Kudos to that.
There are also some movie references which perhaps only avid movie goers will get.For me I loved the Hunter Thompson reference and of course the Eastwood one.I enjoyed this movie so much,there is a high possibility I might watch it again.

Definitely worth watching on a weekend. Rango is a must watch!

Best Quotes
Rango: Stay in school, eat your veggies, and burn all the books that ain't Shakespeare.

Rango: Reptiles gotta stick together, brother.
Buford: I'm an amphibian.
Rango: Ain't no shame in that.

Rango: [an arrow is sticking through Turley's head, entering in his right eye and coming out the left-rear side of his head; Rango looks disgusted] You've, uh... got something in your eye.
Sergeant Turley: [indicates his left eye, seemingly oblivious] Oh, that? That's conjunctivitis. It's hereditary.

Recommended movies done by the director
Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy
The Mexican
Mousehunt

Friday, April 1, 2011

Movie review of Battle Los Angeles


Battle Los Angeles - 4/10
Directed by Jonathan Libesman
Cast - Aaron Eckhart,Michelle Rodriguez

Plot summary
A Marine Staff Sergeant who has just had his retirement approved goes back into the line of duty in order to assist a 2nd Lieutenant and his platoon as they fight to reclaim the city of Los Angeles from alien invaders.

Review
Definitely one of the worst alien invasion movie, I have watched.Pretty much everything was bad.I really liked Aaron Eckhart in Thank you for smoking and of course his titular character Two face in Dark knight.But in this movie,he was overacting so much and he had so much screen time,you wouldn't know who the rest of the actors that were with him at all.Michelle Rodriguez for once did not fucking die halfway through the movie.To be honest,only she was pretty decent in this shit movie.Every fucking thing was marines this and marines that....Battle Los Angeles was glorifying the marines so much that they can use this movie for their marketing department to get more recruits.And of course the only lines they have are silly so called motivational words like hoorah and some stupid word after one shouts "retreat".As the movie goes past the hour mark,the marines starts getting more annoying.And the end scene,where Aaron Eckhart and his men refills their ammo and begin to go back,that was a blatant rip off from Black Hawk Down and it pissed the fuck out of me.Cheebye...have a little originality, Hollywood!
The aliens looked like fuck.They looked like octopus or jellyfish with guns attached to their tentacles.In one scene,the marines took quite a while to figure out how to kill the alien,they had to cut the fella here,stab the fella there several times and in the pool scene,they pretty much finished their ammo killing ONE alien.But after awhile,shooting the aliens was like peeing on ants.
For a high budget movie,this has the worst cinematography ever.It was like all the cameramen had epilepsy and Parkinson's disease. Camera work was so shaky,half the fuck time you as the viewer will have no idea what the fuck is going on.
Editing was also horrendous,there was one obvious cut where you could see Aaron Eckhart holding a hand held gun first and shooting then next cut you see him taking his gun out.Fucked up.
Fuck you Jonathan Libesman for making Michael Bay look like Stanley Kubrick.I sincerely hope this fucktard does not make another movie again.

Do not bother paying a single cent to watch this shitfest of a movie.Just go and watch Independence Day again...trust me you will be entertained.

Best Quotes
Corpsman Jibril Adukwu: Shit, I'd rather be in Afghanistan.

Recommended movies done by the director
none.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Movie review of The Adjustment Bureau


The Adjustment Bureau - 5/10
Directed by George Nolfi
Cast - Matt Damon,Emily Blunt

Plot Summary
The affair between a politician and a ballerina is affected by mysterious forces keeping the lovers apart.

Review
I watched this movie mainly because it has Matt Damon and Emily Blunt in it.I went into the cinema with zero expectations and no knowledge of what the movie was about.Only thing I knew that it was from a short story by renowned American novelist,the late Phillip K.Dick.I also went into the cinema with a slight hangover.To be honest I expected this to be as boring as the Clint Eastwood snoozer,Hereafter which also had Matt Damon in it.Well in the end,I did not fall asleep and was pretty positive about The Adjustment Bureau despite a few flaws.
Acting wise,Damon was good as usual.Pretty straight forward acting by him.And he usually is very consistent unlike Ben Assfleck. Emily Blunt on the other hand has a few shit films in her hand,mainly the unfunny Gullivers travels and the horrible Wolfman. But her last movie I watched was called Wild Target starring the ever lovable Bill Nighy.It was a British romantic comedy which was simply done but yet funny and Emily Blunt did a fantastic job in it. The chemistry between Blunt and Damon was good and I enjoyed their scenes as they were going back and forth. This was partly also because the script was witty and well written. The pacing of the movie was good but towards the end,I felt like it was alittle too rushed. As for the plot, I also thought it was a bullshit story(that's cause it involves god,angels and shit like that) but then again this is something from Phillip K Dick so I was ok with it.Editing on the other hand was absolute shit.Really fuckall cuts.Apart from that,The Adjustment Bureau is a movie for couples and watching this with a loved one will be nice.That's about it actually cause other than that,it is quite a forgettable flick.

If you are going on a date,this would be a good movie for that.

Recommended movies done by the director
none

Monday, March 7, 2011

Movie review of The Mechanic


The Mechanic - 2.5/10
Directed by Simon West
Cast - Jason Statham,Ben Foster,Donald Sutherland

Plot Summary
Follows an elite hit man as he teaches his trade to an apprentice who has a connection to one of his previous victims.

Review
I am beginning to get sick and tired of Jason Statham.If you have seen one Jason Statham movie,you have pretty much seen it all.Except for Lock,stock and two smoking barrels and Snatch.The mechanic is pretty much like another sequel of the Transporter series but with alittle less bullshit.
The reason I wanted to watch this movie is because of Ben Foster.I was impressed with his acting in 3:10 to Yuma and Pandorum. Foster has potential to be a good actor but he has to choose his roles more wisely.
The original Mechanic was acted by the late Charles Bronson who was famous for his ultra violent Death Wish series and earlier movies as well.This one is nowhere near that and even changes quite a few key details from the original.And Jason is no way cooler than the great Charles Bronson.
Direction for this movie was mediocre and the script was as bad as Jay Chou.The director SImon West did a fine job with Con Air but after that it was mostly tv movies.I guess he should stick to that.If you are entertained by movies like Transporter,Crank, and shit like that.Then I would gladly recommend you The Mechanic and you can even watch it on a weekend. but if you get as irritated as I would for movies like this, then I would suggest you watch the original or if you are a Statham fan,just watch Lock stock or Snatch.Sadly those two movies were the only good ones,Guy Ritchie did as well.

Quotes
Dean: I'm going to put a price on your head so big, that when you look in the mirror your reflection's gonna want to shoot you in the face.

Recommended movies done by the director
Con Air
General's Daughter

Movie review of True Grit


True Grit - 6/10
Directed by The Coen Brothers
Cast - Matt Damon,Jeff Bridges,Hailee Steinfield,Josh Brolin,Barry Pepper.

Plot Summary
Following the murder of her father by hired hand Tom Chaney, 14-year-old farm girl Mattie Ross sets out to capture the killer. To aid her, she hires the toughest U.S. marshal she can find, a man with "true grit," Reuben J. "Rooster" Cogburn. Mattie insists on accompanying Cogburn, whose drinking, sloth, and generally reprobate character do not augment her faith in him. Against his wishes, she joins him in his trek into the Indian Nations in search of Chaney. They are joined by Texas Ranger LaBoeuf, who wants Chaney for his own purposes. The unlikely trio find danger and surprises on the journey, and each has his or her "grit".

Review
Even though No country for old men was a brilliant movie,I thought to myself maybe just maybe after True Grit,I could finally become a Coen Brothers fan.Well..it didn't happen.I really liked the first 30 mins of the movie.The introduction of the three main characters was really good.but after that,it kinda went downhill for me.I haven't watched the original True Grit which has The Duke, John Wayne in it and neither have I read the book either.Apparently the Coen brothers are big fans of the book and they did this movie very closely to the book.And of course you have your standard trademark Coen brothers quirkiness in it as well.
This time though,The Dude,Jeff Bridges acts as the US marshal Rooster Cogburn.I enjoyed his acting very much and rooster's introduction at the courtroom scene was indeed very cool.but halfway through the movie,I was getting rather bored and disconnected with his character.Now the intro (courtroom scene) was good.Then you have scenes(check the scene with the 2 Indian kids) which made him sort of a badass devil may care kinda guy but at the end,I did not feel anything for his character.Somehow I felt rather shortchanged.I was really hoping Rooster Cogburn to be this unforgettable character much like Anton Chigurh in No country for old men.
Matt Damon acted pretty well even though he had a weird stale Texas accent.The chemistry between him and Jeff Bridges was good as well.
Newcomer Hailee Steinfield as Mattie Ross did a commendable job and managed to stand up on her own amongst the other veteran actors.I very much liked the trading scene which was her introduction.However,there was very little chemistry between her character and Rooster Cogburn.The one actor which I wish they had given him more screen time was Barry Pepper.He was fantastic.
Direction was good.Did not like some of the shots taken like the scenic and the horse feet scenes.Script wise, it was rather weird.Everyone spoke good English and were very polite to each other.Good guys and bad guys talking to each other politely.Really??
POLITENESS during the wild west? That was another problem I had with True Grit.
Oh well..maybe next time I should watch a Coen Brothers movie with low expectations which was what I did for No country for old men.Who knows maybe then I might just become a fan of them.

Worth watching this on a weekend if you are a Coen Brothers fan.

Quotes
Rooster Cogburn: We'll sleep here and follow in the morning.
Mattie Ross: But we promised to bury the poor soul inside!
Rooster Cogburn: Ground's too hard. Them men wanted a decent burial, they should have got themselves killed in summer.

Mattie Ross: And "futile", Marshal Cogburn, "pursuit would be futile"? It's not spelled "f-u-d-e-l."

Rooster Cogburn: [LaBoeuf has been talking about malum prohibitum and malum in se] It astonishes me that Mr. LaBoeuf has been shot, trampled, and nearly bitten his tongue off, and yet not only does he continue to talk but he spills the banks of English.



Recommended movies done by the directors
No country for old men
Big Lebowski
Burn After reading
Fargo

Monday, February 21, 2011

Movie review of The Rite


The Rite - 4/10
Directed by Michael Hafstrom
Cast - Anthony Hopkins,Colin O'Donaghue, Alice Braga,Rutger Hauer

Plot Summary
An American priest travels to Italy to study at an exorcism school.

Review
I am a big fan of William Peter Blatty's The Exorcist.It is still to me,my favourite horror movie.Not many movies based on exorcisms have been remotely close to The Exorcist.The sequels and prequels were pretty much rubbish except for The Exorcist 3 which I found more of a mind fuck movie than a horror one.The exorcism of Emily Rose was good.So when I first saw the trailer for the Rite,I thought maybe this could be good as well.I mean what can possibly go wrong? you have Sir Anthony Hopkins and demons.Should be fun.
Sadly,what could have been a potentially good movie was ruined by quite a few things.
Casting for this movie was pretty bad.Besides veterans like Rutger Hauer and Anthony Hopkins,the newer actors were shit.Colin O'Donaghue was totally fuck all.They should have gotten a much more versatile actor than a Keanu Reeves worshipper.He has a really stupid quizzical look on his fuck face whenever something happens.It gets really annoying after awhile.The fucking cats acted better than him.Alice Braga is in this movie just to look pretty.That's about it cause the rest of the women in this movie are either psychotic or possessed and they look terrible.Marta Gastini was good.She had the "crazy,evil,I'm gonna shove a cross in my vagina" look and the "innocent,I'm not a girl not yet a woman" look.Too bad she had little screen time.
Anthony Hopkins' character Father Lucas tells Colin O'Donaghue's character Michael Kovak that exorcisms aren't about head spins and pea soup(which is a nod to Exorcist).But through out the movie,there are so many scenes that are littered with the Exorcist.You tell the audience that this move is not gonna be anything like The Exorcist but you film scenes,say out lines which are pretty much Exorcist material.That is fucked up.
The script was pretty good,especially the confrontation between Father Lucas and Michael Kovak.To me that was the best part of the movie. And Anthony Hopkins threatening in a Welsh accent.Very freaky.
The Rite could really have done without the special effects and most importantly the fucked up sampled demonic voices.I loved the lines but I fucking hated how it sounded.Hopkins was terrifying in Silence of the lambs and there was no effects on his voice so why do you have to add it for this movie?And with the silly effects on his voice,he did not sound scary at all.He sounded ridiculous.The special effects on Hopkins' face made him look like a leopard more than a demon.Why do we need these kinda cheap shit to get the message across?The Rite could have had a better psychological effect if it were made and directed in a simple manner.All this movie needed was good acting which Hopkins can definitely pull it off.
There was one scene,I was laughing my ass off.Michael Kovak was trying to exorcise father Lucas with a very small cross.The cross was so small,you could shit it out with ease.

Don't even bother paying to watch.And to make this movie even worse.The character,Micheal Kovak is real and the idiot is staying in America or some shit.Fuck this lanjiao pro religion turd of a movie.


Quotes
Father Lucas Trevant: Michael - close the door. We don't want to be disturbed, do we.

Recommended movies done by the director
Shanghai
Derailed
1408

Movie review of The King's Speech


The King's Speech - 7.5/10
Directed by Tom Hooper
Cast - Colin Firth,Helena Bonham Carter,Geoffrey Rush

Plot Summary
Tells the story of the man who became King George VI, the father of Queen Elizabeth II. After his brother abdicates, George ('Bertie') reluctantly assumes the throne. Plagued by a dreaded stammer and considered unfit to be king, Bertie engages the help of an unorthodox speech therapist named Lionel Logue. Through a set of unexpected techniques, and as a result of an unlikely friendship, Bertie is able to find his voice and boldly lead the country through war.

Review
I am a big fan of the movie,Damned United which was Tom Hooper's previous directorial effort.So when I found out he was directing the King's speech with a magnificent cast of British actors,I was looking forward to it.I have to say this was a fantastic movie.The cast selection was perfect.Colin Firth was perfect for the role of King George VI.The ticks,the stammering,the temper,I'm pretty sure only Firth could have pulled off a character like King George VI.He should be recognized for his portrayal.Geoffrey Rush as usual did a fine job as Lionel Logue, the speech therapist and friend to King George VI.The chemistry between these two actors was a delight to watch.There were some light hearted scenes like the one where Lionel sits on the chair,The first time Lionel calls King George,Bertie and the one where King George swears.I have always enjoyed watching Helena Bonham Carter and she did manage to stand out on her own despite the two acting powerhouses (Firth and Rush).Even the supporting cast were good.Two of my favorites were Guy Pierce.His British accent and the whole royalty acting was fantastic.I wished he had more screen time though.And Timothy Spall as Winston Churchill.He got the voice and the attitude down perfectly.
Direction for The King's speech was good.The cinematography was fantastic.The costumes and location shots were good.The script was brilliant.A truly heart warming,feel good movie with fine acting to watch.

I really recommend this movie to one and all.Worth watching on a weekend.


Quotes
King George VI: L-listen to me... listen to me!
Lionel Logue: Why should I waste my time listening to you?
King George VI: Because I have a voice!
Lionel Logue: ...yes, you do.

Lionel Logue: Do you know any jokes?
King George VI: ...Timing isn't my strong suit.

[watching a clip of Hitler speaking]
Lilibet: What's he saying?
King George VI: I don't know but... he seems to be saying it rather well.
Lionel Logue: [as George "Berty" is lighting up a cigarette] Please don't do that.
King George VI: I'm sorry?
Lionel Logue: I believe sucking smoke into your lungs will kill you.
King George VI: My physicians say it relaxes the throat.
Lionel Logue: They're idiots.
King George VI: They've all been knighted.
Lionel Logue: Makes it official then.


Recommended movies done by the director
The Damned United

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Movie review of Black Swan


Black Swan - 8.5/10
Directed by Darren Aronofsky
Cast - Natalie Portman,Mila Kunis,Vincent Cassel,Winona Ryder

Plot Summary
A ballet dancer wins the lead in "Swan Lake" and is perfect for the role of the delicate White Swan - Princess Odette - but slowly loses her mind as she becomes more and more like Odette's evil sister, Odile, the Black Swan.

Review
Initially I was a little apprehensive about watching this movie.Well because I do not like Natalie Portman.To me,her only good movie was Leon the Professional.I did not like Closer and V for vendetta could have done better without her.And as for Star Wars,I wanted her raped by the Sand People as much as I wanted Jar Jar Binks to be ripped apart by the Jawas.That's how much I dislike Natalie Portman.But Black Swan is directed by Darren Aronofsky and I have to watch his movies.He did a fantastic job pushing Mickey Rourke to his acting limit in The Wrestler and I wanted to know if he could do the same for Portman.To my surprise,he did.This is definitely Portman's finest moment as an actress.She did such a fantastic job,I'm pretty sure she would be nominated for Best Actress and perhaps win it.Not only did Portman did a fantastic job,the rest of the cast were really good as well.Vincent Cassel who is a brilliant French actor and the lucky bastard is married to Monica Bellucci and Mila Kunis from the series That 70's show.The three main cast have fantastic chemistry between them.There was also a barely recognizable Winona Ryder.The scene with Ryder in a wheelchair was one of the best scenes of the movie.
Just like The Wrestler,Black Swan was done with a very tight budget.Aronofsky should continue doing this cause it seems to be working for him so far.Cinematography and camera works were fantastic.I loved the track shots and the mirror shots especially.Editing was fucking brilliant.You have to pay attention cause there are quite a few scenes where you might miss in a blink of an eye.And all these scenes are fucking creepy.There are also some scenes that made me shudder and go "What The Fuck" as well.
Even though you may figure out the twist before the end,it was the way the movie ended which is another reason why I found Black Swan a really good movie.

Definitely worth watching on a weekend.

Quotes
Nina Sayers: I was perfect...

Thomas Leroy: That was me seducing you. It needs to be the other way around.

Recommended movies done by the director
Requiem for a dream
Pi
The Wrestler

Friday, February 4, 2011

Movie review of The Green Hornet


The Green Hornet - 3.5/10
Directed by Michel Gondry
Cast - Seth Rogen,Jay Chou,Cameron Diaz,Christoph Waltz

Plot Summary
Following the death of his father, Britt Reid, heir to his father's large company, teams up with his late dad's assistant Kato to become a masked crime fighting team.

Review
You have a good writer and comedian in Seth Rogen, you have a fantastic visual director in Michel Gondry,you have a talented actor who can play a villain in Christoph Waltz and still somehow fuck this movie up so bad..Initially,it was Stephen Chow who was supposed to direct and act as Kato.I guess he probably knew this movie would be shit so he left and Gondry took over.Judging from the trailer itself,I knew this movie was gonna suck ass.But I had to watch this movie as Michel Gondry is one of my favourite directors.Not even halfway through the movie,you can notice that the writers are clearly confused as to whether they want Green Hornet to be funny or serious.Some scenes were supposed to be funny and some scenes were serious.A good 90% of the jokes in the movie fell flat.And I hate to say this as I always enjoyed Seth Rogen's brand of comedy but in Green Hornet, he was fucking annoying! Motherfucker had this really annoying voice and half the fuck time he is shouting.I really had the sudden urge the slap him.And then there was Jay fucking Chou.To say he was trying to outdo Keanu Reeve would be an understatement.And why the fuck can't they just get a Chinese actor who can SPEAK PROPER ENGLISH!!! This fucktard was barely comprehensible.I seriously needed subtitles whenever he opened his cheebye mouth.Christoph Waltz was wonderful in Inglorious Basterds and shit in Green Hornet.I really wished I did not see him in this movie.I sincerely hope he chooses his next movie wisely.Cameron Diaz was a waste of space here.There was no need for her in any part of the show and she looks like a melted plastic bag.Surprisingly Edward Furlong has a cameo.It took me awhile to recognize Terminator 2's John Connor.And boy does he look haggard but it was nice to see him on screen again.
As bad as the acting was,the script,plot and editing were horrible.The ending was just stupid especially the part about the thumb drive.There were some jump cuts before the actor finishes his line.And the script was just horrible and not funny.The action sequences(Kato's fights) was interesting the first time,then they kept repeating it. The only good thing about this movie was the multi screen shot scene which was brilliant.I have seen this done before.Michel Gondry once directed this music video but it was just a split screen then.
Luckily for me,I hate watching movies in 3D,so I did not bother wasting more money on this shit.Apparently,there wasn't much 3D sequences.Only a few scenes and the end credits.

Do not bother watching this on 3D or on a weekend.

Quotes
Kato: I was born in Shanghai. You know Shanghai?
Britt Reid: Yeah, I love Japan.

Mike Axford: You are blowing this guy completely out of proportion.
Britt Reid: I will blow this guy in any proportion I want!

Recommended movies done by the director
Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind
Science of sleep
Be kind rewind

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Movie review of Hereafter


Hereafter - 3/10
Directed by Clint Eastwood
Cast - Matt Damon,Cecile De France,Bryce Dallas Howard

Plot Summary
A drama centered on three people who are haunted by mortality in different ways. George (Damon) is a blue-collar American who has a special connection to the afterlife. On the other side of the world, Marie (de France), a French journalist, has a near-death experience that shakes her reality. And when Marcus (Frankie/George McLaren), a London schoolboy, loses the person closest to him, he desperately needs answers. Each on a path in search of the truth, their lives will intersect, forever changed by what they believe might-or must-exist in the hereafter.

Review
The older Clint Eastwood gets,the slower the pace of his movies.I really wished I had fallen asleep while watching this movie.Hereafter was a fucking bore! 2 hours of sheer boredom.There were so many unnecessary shots and scenes.All the excitement and terror was in the first 5-10 mins of the movie.The tsunami scene.Even though the CGI for that entire scene was cheap,it was quite intense and scary.But after that,Hereafter was a fucking flatliner.
Casting for this was bad.Matt Damon was ok.Cecile De France was not bad,she had some good scenes.The twins however, not so good.There were some good scenes but they did not act well enough for it.And then there was Jay Mohr...why the fuck is this unfunny turd in this movie? he is a fuckall comedian and he is a fuckall actor.And by the looks of it,he may have stolen one of Nicholas Cage's hair pieces for this movie.
Direction was mediocre.I think its high time Mr Eastwood stops directing.His last good one was Invictus but that was because Morgan Freeman stole the show with his portrayal of Nelson Mandela.I have to say if the pace,direction and acting was better,Hereafter would have been a good movie because it has a good plot but too bad.Not his worst movie,I leave that to gran torino(it doesn't deserve capital letters) but pretty close to it.

Do not bother watching Hereafter,watching grass grow is more exciting than that.

Recommended movies done by the director
Million Dollar Baby
Invictus
Space Cowboys
Mystic River
Changeling

Movie review of Fair Game


Fair Game - 7/10
Directed by Doug Liman
Cast - Sean Penn,Naomi Watts

Plot Summary
Plame's status as a CIA agent was revealed by White House officials allegedly out to discredit her husband after he wrote a 2003 New York Times op-ed piece saying that the Bush administration had manipulated intelligence about weapons of mass destruction to justify the invasion of Iraq.

Review
If you think this Doug Liman directed movie is gonna be something like the Bourne Series,think again.Fair Game is a political drama filled with very fine acting performances by Naomi Watts and Sean Penn.I watched this movie with no idea of what it was about and sometimes it is pleasantly surprising when it is really good.
There are no action sequences,Michael Bay-esque explosions and shit like that.If you are expecting that,then I suggest you should not watch this movie.What you have in Fair Game is very good story telling.Doug Liman did a fantastic job and I will definitely catch his next movie.The chemistry between Watts and Penn was brilliant.Watts especially was fantastic.Penn as usual was good,and you can see the hatred he has for the bush administration through his acting.My two favourite scenes were when he was arguing with Watt's character in the kitchen and the hallway scene near the end.However as much as the story telling and acting was good,some may find the pacing of Fair Game to be very slow.To me,I felt it was fine cause it suited to the story.But if the pace is slow,the end has to be climatic and Fair Game's end turned out to be very climatic indeed.
I didn't quite like the camera works though.Very erratic.There were some tight close up shots which were good and there were shit ones like the over the shoulder shots.Editing was good,I loved the ending scene where film transcends to real life footage.That was brilliant.

I would recommend this movie to anyone who likes political dramas and Sean Penn of course.

Recommended movies done by the director
Bourne Identity
Mr & Mrs Smith

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Movie review of The Fighter


The Fighter - 7/10
Directed by David O Russell
Cast - Christian Bale,Mark Wahlberg,Amy Adams,Melissa

Plot Summary
A look at the early years of boxer "Irish" Micky Ward and his brother who helped train him before going pro in the mid 1980s.

Review
I have always enjoyed watching sports based movies and especially if it is based on a true story.I have watched a few boxing movies and so far none of the ones I have watched sucked.The fighter did not disappoint me as well.I do not know much about boxing legends apart from the popular ones.but after watching this movie,I went to find out more about Mickey Ward.The things I have read and watched about Ward and his famous trilogy fights with Gatti was just inspiring.These 2 guys punched the shit out of each other but they have remained the best of friends and all that.you don't get to see that nowadays amidst all the thrash talking and what not.Plus the shit he goes through with his family and his older brother did kinda tug my heart abit.
There are two actors who totally outshone in this movie.One of them is of course Christian Bale.Quite the method actor that he is..he lost weight to play the role of Dicky,a former boxer who is the brother of Micky Ward portrayed by Mark Wahlberg.Dicky is a character who continuously basks on his former glory and neglects his brother's training and is a cocaine addict as well.Bale plays this to perfection.He may seem to be overacting in the beginning but after you see the real Dicky Eklund during the credits,Bale did good.The other actor which I was amazed by was Melissa Leo.She plays the brothers' mother,Alice Eklund.Now the whole fucking family are a crazy bunch.Between Dicky and Micky,they have seven fucking sisters.I felt immense hatred for the mother and I was wishing her to fucking die a horrible death in this movie.That was how good her acting was.She was like all the most fucked up,conniving,thieving relatives you know combined into Alice Eklund.Kudos to Melissa Leo for a brilliant performance.I really hope she gets nominated and recognized for this.
Marky Mark did pretty ok.He also produced this as well.His acting is still a little mediocre and he has the same sad puppy look with a whiny voice but can do pull ups and sit ups at the same time(He actually does that).But I will give credit to him for this movie,he wasn't really that bad actually. haha. I really like Amy Adams and she has a fantastic crying look.whenever her eyes start to tear up,you can actually feel the emotion she portrays.And even though there was a totally unnecessary sex scene,where you can see Amy Adams in sexy undergarments with her pink nipples slightly protruding out.I think it was worth it.hahaha.
Direction for The Fighter was pretty good.I loved the editing.Using actual commentaries and colour treatment for the matches was nice.Even the boxing choreography was good.I love the last scene where you will see the two brothers in front of the camera.The beauty of this ending is it leaves the viewer to decide what kinda end,they prefer.A happy 'everything is ok' end or a somewhat happy 'you have to live with it' end.
For me, I preferred the later of course.

Worth watching on a weekend.Do check out Melissa Leo's and Christian Bale's acting.

Quotes
Dickie Eklund: This is my younger brother.Taught him everything he knows
Dickie Eklund: I am still his trainer.

Dickie Eklund: ok,This is your time.I had my turn and I blew it.You don't have to.
Micky Ward: You want me to do what.


Recommended movies done by the director
Three Kings
I heart huckabees

Movie review of The Tourist


The Tourist - 2/10
Directed by Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Cast - Johnny Depp,Angelina Jolie,Paul Bettany,Timothy Dalton

Plot Summary
Revolves around Frank,an American tourist visiting Venice to mend a broken heart.Elise who is an extraordinary woman deliberately crosses his path.

Review
This is definitely the worst Johnny Depp movie ever.What the fuck was he thinking when he signed for this garbage.And what the fuck happened to Angelina Jolie? she used to be smoking hot and act as well.Now she looks like a crack whore on Prozac.Definitely one of the worst movies of 2010 as well.Its not a travel movie,you don't see any scenic shots of Venice.Its not a heist nor a con movie,you don't get to see the robbery.Its not a love story,you don't see any chemistry between Depp and Jolie.
Its an absolute FUCK ALL movie.That's what it is.
There is really nothing to like in The Tourist.Fucked up script.Acting is pretty much non existent.Jolie like I mentioned earlier looks like she is on crack.Depp really looks like fuck with the goatee which I think he stole it from one of the Indian dancers from vasantham central. I do not know why Paul Bettany is in this the first place.Probably the only good thing was the bad guy,Steven Berkoff who was the bad guy for Rambo first blood.Nostalgia...that's all.

Do not bother watching this lanjiao movie.If you wanna watch a good heist,travel,romantic movie.
I suggest you watch The Thomas Crown Affair,Both the original and remake is good.
Fuck the Tourist.


Recommended movies done by the director
The lives of others