Movie review of 13 Assassins

13 Assassins - 8.5/10
Directed by Takashi Miike
Cast - Kôji Yakusho, Takayuki Yamada, Gorô Inagaki

Plot Summary
A group of assassins come together for a suicide mission to kill an evil lord.

Review
There are three Japanese directors whose movies I will religiously follow.The late Akira Kurosawa,the legendary Takeshi Kitano and of course Takashi Miike.13 assassins is the latest by Takashi Miike and I have waited for a long time to watch this movie.When I first saw the trailer,I knew this director will not let me down.And at the end of the movie,I was not disappointed with it,not one single bit.Miike's direction is fantastic.I loved the colouring of the film.It gave a surreal feel to the movie.Blood and violence is always quite abundant with Miike's movie and 13 assassins was one of them.but the violence was done rather beautifully I have to add.Fight choreography was pretty realistic and not too over the top.Acting was top notch.I simply loved the casting.From the leader to the assassins to the villain.Every actor played their parts to perfection.
There was one particular scene involving a tortured girl.I have to admit I was alittle disturbed by it but I got to say that scene was a Takashi Miike trademark.It was a little sadistic but in a very artistic way.You have to watch that scene to understand.But then again only fans of Takashi Miike would probably get it.The plot and build up to the crucial part of the story was indeed well made.I really liked the introductions of all 13 warriors,even though it was brief but it was enough to understand what each character is about.I also have to say how Miike ended the movie is Japanese cinema at its best.A real classy yet brutal ending.This is definitely one of the best movies I have watched this year.
Sadly this movie may never be shown in our cinemas because its not the mainstream teeny boppy melodrama bullshit Japanese or Korean movies they rather show.
If you enjoy movies during the samurai era or revenge movies,I would highly recommend 13 Assassins.Get it by any means necessary cause its a fucking fantastic movie.

Recommended movies by the director
Iichi the killer
Audition
Sukiyaki Western Django
Dead or Alive trilogy

Movie review of Priest

Priest - 2/10
Directed by Scott Charles Stewart
Cast - Paul Bettany,Maggie Q,Karl Urban,Christopher Plummer

Plot Summary
A priest disobeys church law to track down the vampires who kidnapped his niece.

Review
I was looking forward to this movie,a friend of mine told me it was crap so I decided to watch it at home instead.I was tempted by the trailer and I did enjoy Bettany's acting until now.Priest is definitely up there in one of the top worst movies for this year.The acting was horrendous.Why oh why did Paul Bettany take up this movie? what did Scott Charles Stewart do to get Bettany to be in his second movie.This is the fucker who did Legion.At least Legion was bearable,it had a good start but fucked up in the end.But Priest was fuckall from the get go.Definitely one of the worst introduction of characters or story ever.And the ending is so fucking abrupt,I was like,"what the fuck? That's it??"
I knew Karl Urban would make a good bad guy but he choose the wrong movie to be one.A priest turned vampire who wears a fucking worn out cowboy hat.Really??? Wow...
Maggie Q,well.. she was pretty much acting like how she has acted in her other movies,just another pretty face with no substance but just legs.
I'm also pretty sure the script was written by some who is mildly retarded.What kinda lanjiao lines are these? Priest: You make a good priest. Guy:Thanks. Priest:don't get that over your head. What The fuck was that????
I sincerely hope Jennifer Connelly(Paul Bettany's wife) would slap some fucking sense into this idiot so he would stop choosing shit movies like Priest.And fuck you Scott Charles Stewart for possibly ruining Bettany's career and wasting my fucking time and bandwidth for this shit.

Do not even bother with this shit movie. Go watch Paul instead. Fuck the Priest.

Recommended movies done by the director
Legion

movie Review of Paul

Paul - 7.5/10

Directed by Greg Mottola

Cast - Simon Pegg,Nick Frost,Seth Rogen,Sigourney Weaver,Jason Bateman

Plot Summary

Two British comic-book geeks traveling across the U.S. encounter an alien outside Area 51.

Review

Yet another Simon Pegg/Nick Frost collaboration but this time its not part of their Blood and Ice cream series.I loved Shaun of the dead and Hot fuzz and I couldn't wait to watch this movie.And as expected,I thoroughly enjoyed the movie.Paul has so many classic movie references,you will definitely laugh.If you weren't a movie buff,Paul would not be as enjoyable.There were so many times,I was the only fucker laughing in the cinema out loud cause I discovered yet another cool movie reference.

Kudos to Greg Mottola of Superbad fame who does a decent job directing.

Editing for Paul was fantastic.The cuts were perfect for the comedic timings.The script was pretty good but doesn't come close to the sheer brilliance of Shaun of the dead's script.The pro evolution scenes were well done.If Christians cant take a joke(they usually don't) then they should give this movie a miss.

The chemistry between Pegg and Frost is proven and fantastic.Their comedic timing are impeccable.Despite a rather slow start,you will be warmed up to Paul and midway through,you will be hooked to it.Jason Bateman,Bill Hader and Jo Lo Truglio as the cops after Paul,were fucking funny as well.But like the movie,it'll take awhile to get used to them.Cameos from Sigourney Weaver and Jeffery Tambour were cool as well.Seth Rogen did a good job voice acting Paul the weed smoking,beer drinking,vulgar alien. I thought I would be annoyed by his voice ever since Green Hornet,but it never did.Apparently he had to ask advice from Andy Serkis about doing the proper movements and voice.

Worth watching on a weekend if you are a Sci-Fi movie buff.You will not regret it.

Best Quotes

Paul: [Lighting a joint and takes a hit] Do you guys partake?

Graeme Willy: No. Thank you.

Ruth Buggs: I'll partake.

Paul: Are you sure? It's pretty strong shit. I get it from the military. I think this is the stuff that killed Dylan.

Graeme Willy: Bob Dylan's not dead.

Paul: [smiles] Isn't he?

Graeme Willy: [while under the impression that Clive and he are being chased by rednecks] This is just like Deliverance!

Agent Zoil: Motherfuckin' tittysuckin' two-balled bitch!

Recommended movies done by the director

Superbad

Movie Review of Thor

Thor - 7/10

Directed by Kenneth Branagh

Cast - Chris Hemsworth,Natalie Portman,Tom Hiddleston,Anthony Hopkins,Idris Elba

Plot Summary

The powerful but arrogant warrior Thor is cast out of the fantastic realm of Asgard and sent to live amongst humans on Earth,where he soon becomes one of their finest defenders.

Review

I watched this movie when it was released but hadn't the time to do a review for it so here it is now.Now I'm not a big fan of Thor comics so I wouldn't know much of him,just the basics like he is from Asgarth and he is Odin's son.The movie did give me a little bit more insight of the character but its best to read the comics.

Its very unusual of Kenneth Branagh to do a movie like this.I got to say he did a pretty decent job.Casing wise however I think is much to be desired.Chris Hemsworth as Thor was good.I do not know much about Chris and the only other movie I can remember him was in Star Trek.He was James T.Kirk's father.Apparently he over bulked up for Thor and had to downsize abit so as to be able to wear the costumes.His acting is pretty decent and I would like to see him in other movies.Anthony Hopkins looks very bored and very old in this.Perhaps,another actor who is slightly younger should have done the role of Odin instead.Natalie Portman was annoying.Half the fuck time she is whining or screaming.And I don't know why but ever since Black Swan,its like she has done about 3000 movies cause I see her in almost every movie in the cinema now.The best actor for this movie is definitely Tom Hiddleston as Loki.It was such a pleasure every time he comes on screen.I havent seen any of his movies,but judging from his performance for Thor,expect big roles for this guy.I do not know why Hollywood has to be so fucking politically correct and all that bullshit..I mean for fuck sake..getting Idris Elba as Heimdall the guardian of Asgard? Have you ever seen a black Viking or a black god in Valhalla? COME ON!!! even in the movie,he has the worst job..fucker is supposed to be a guardian but so many people have sneaked in and out of Asgard.

The designs and visuals for Asgard is really beautiful and well done.Even though I despise watching movies in 3D,I could imagine these scenes in 3D to be pretty cool.Direction as mentioned earlier was a pretty decent job.The script was good.the few light hearted scenes were funny.Even the standard Stan Lee cameo was funny.Editing was done nicely and the camera works and cinematography was good.

All in all if you are a fan of comics and The Avengers,you should watch this movie.

Also do not forget to watch the scene after the credits.

Best quotes

Thor: This mortal form grows weak. I require sustenance!

Clint Barton: You better call it Coulson, cause I'm starting to root for this guy.

Agent Cale: [staring at a moving suit of armour] Is that one of Stark's?

Agent Phil Coulson: I don't know. That guy never tells me anything...

Recommended movies done by the director

Much Ado about nothing