Saturday, October 6, 2018

Movie review of Venom

Venom - 1.5/10

I was really looking forward to this. The trailer also got me excited. It was good to know that Tom Hardy was portraying Eddie Brock/Venom. Barely five mins into the movie, I knew this was going to be a lanjiao piece of shit movie and the worst part is, it was a LONG lanjiao piece of shit movie.

What the fuck happened lah SONY? What the fuck did you do? You were doing pretty ok with Spiderman even though you changed Spidey about 5000 times and kept Benjamin Buttoning Aunt May. What the fuck happened with Venom? First it was supposed to be for mature audience just like Deadpool then you had to edit the shit out of the movie to make it to PG13 just so Venom can join Spiderman ah? Even so, why cut until like that?

The editing was so bad that it disrupted the flow of the story. One moment, The story was being rushed to get to the part where Brock becomes Venom, then when he is just about to, the pace is slowed down. That scene when Anne is driving Eddie to the hospital. How many times do I need to see fucking Anne from the rear view mirror?
Script was fucking cringe worthy. There are some lines that I can't believe Venom would say shit like that.
The fight sequences are really hard to watch cos the CGI was very messy. Especially the fight with Riot and Venom. Half the time I don't know what the fuck was going on.

Acting was shit as well. Michelle Williams. She had horrible make up and her acting was as bad as Venom Dog. (yup, there was a Venom Dog). Riz Ahmed as Riot.... if there ever was a symbiote with the name, Quiet, it would suit Riz Ahmed better. Tom Hardy. Sigh... you are better than this. I can forgive you for that shit movie you did with Reese Witherspoon cos I thought that was your worse movie. Not anymore. Please don't do the sequel and fuck up your cred. Just give it back to Topher Grace for fuck sake.

Look, it's pretty simple. I totally understand that you want to change some stuff up like his origin story or even removing the iconic logo, that's fine. but if you are going to come up with a screenplay that is going to be like a fucking C grade Tamil movie minus the songs and dance, then Fuck You. I totally blame the writers for this colossal fuck up of a movie. Jeff Pinkner, Scott Rosenberg and Kelly Marcel. I did a quick look up on what were their previous works. Out of the 3 cheebyes, 2 have written really shit movies. Jeff did Dark Towers and Kelly did 50 shades of grey. 50 FUCKING SHADES OF GREY??? Didn't that fucking movie get worst movie of the year or some shit? Fuck lah. There are so many shit scenes that baffled me. Venom Dog was one, Venom girl was another and Riot travelling all the way from Malaysia to America.(Yup, Riot can be Malaysian Symbiote now). Let that sink in for a bit.
I suggest Riot should go to Harry Kok Siew Yok instead, cos he is the Malaysian and he is nearby. Knn. Fuck this movie.

Don't bother watching 50 shades of Venom in the cinema. Just download and watch. Save your money. Even if you do watch the movie, you are going to be really annoyed with the song at the end of the movie as well.

Sunday, August 12, 2018

Movie review of Mission Impossible: Fallout

Mission Impossible: Fallout - 7.5/10
Directed by Christopher McQuarrie

I have been a fan of Tom Cruise and Mission Impossible since the first one directed by Brian De Palma. The only one that sucked ass was the second one directed by John Woo and yes it had doves in it as usual. So I was generally excited for the 6th installation of this amazing franchise. As usual, Tom Cruise (who is in his 50s) took it up another notch on the stunts involved and it is crazier than ever.

The plot wasn't good, script was so so and acting was a little shit. Ving Rhymes looked old and botoxed, Simon Pegg was his usual silly self, Rebecca Ferguson looked really weird at her first scene, not too sure if it was the make up or effects. Henry Cavill was horrible except for the very last scene of his and the other bad guy from the previous movie sound and look like a fucking mouse. Fuck him. There is only one true villain for the Mission Impossible movies and that will always be the late great Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

Now the stunts done are absolutely fucking insane.From the halo jump, to the motorcycle ride to the classic Tom Cruise running, they are all done with tons of practice and perfected to a tee. Mad respect to the camera crew for this as well.There are some really amazing shots.

Since the plot and a few other things were pretty much shit, why did I give such a high rating? Well, for the last 30 mins of the movie, it got fucking intense. A real edge of the seat thriller. I completely stopped munching food and got riveted to the action. It really was a fucking crazy intense 30 mins lah. At the end of the movie, you are bound to lean back and heave a sigh of relief. Relief that Tom Cruise is still alive after all that stunts and he is bound to do it again.

Monday, July 23, 2018

Movie review of Sicario: Day of the Soldado

Sicario: Day of the Soldado - 2/10

I was so looking forward to watching the sequel to Sicario. A gem of a movie starring Josh Brolin and the unforgettable Benicio Del Toro. After watching Day of the Soldado, I was massively disappointed. They shouldn't have done this fucking movie at all. Sicario doesn't need a sequel or a fucking trilogy. It was great enough as a stand alone.

From the get go, it was turning to shit. The plot already was stupid. Mexicans smuggling terrorists instead of drugs. So the US government's plan is to make 2 cartels fight each other and to start the fight, they just kidnap one of the cartel boss's daughter. The 2 main charcters, Brolin and Del Toro were fantastic in Sicario. Brutal, cold and will do anything to get things done. In Soldado, they suddenly have heart. Fuck you lah.

Taylor Sheridan wrote both movies. I don't know how you went from a masterpiece to a complete shit show. Soldado is shit because of you. Thanks a lot asshole.

Then comes a scene, I thought if they ended it there, it would have been a some what, reasonable movie. But no... they did two additional fucking scenes which pissed me off so much. The last 15 mins of the movie was just fucking disastrous, I really wanted to walk off the fucking cinema or punch someone. And now, I really don't feel like watching the first movie ever again. All because of this piece of shit.

Casting. The cartel's daughter, Isabela Moner was annoying and totally irrelevant. Del Toro and Brolin were decent. They are good actors following a lanjiao script. That last line by Del Toro, "SO YOU WANT TO BE A SICARIO?" Knn this one what? Reality TV series ah? Fuck you lah. Third movie, you probably see Leon fucking Lai as the next top Sicario. FUCK THIS!


Don't bother watching this in the cinema. In fact, if you truly enjoyed watching Sicario, don't watch Soldado, cause all it does is ruin the first one.

Monday, July 16, 2018

Movie review of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - 3.5/10

One of the blockbuster movies that I was looking forward to this year. Sadly it has been massively disappointing. I loved ALL of the Jurassic park movies even Jurassic World was enjoyable. But Fallen Kingdom on the other hand is a piece of shit.

There are so many things wrong with this movie. I understand the director wanted to do something something different and away from the first three movies. But come on lah. Knn you been cloning dinosaurs and now you go and clone a human. For fuck? so the next title is going to be what? Jurassic Girl ah? Is she going to be riding on top of the T-Rex as well?

Of course Dr Wu makes yet another new dinosaur, he added all sorts of DNA like as though he ordering nasi padang. And what do they call the new dinosaur? INDORAPTOR. Knn this raptor from Indonesia ah? Indo Mee ah? Fuck you lah.

There are many other really stupid scenes as well. one of them when the Indomee raptor was chasing "Jurassic girl". That sunni ran and hid in her bed. When they cloned her, they left out the brain ah?
And the whole rooftop scene was just ridiculous. Indomee raptor comes out of nowhere like a RKO.

Worse part is, they are planning to more sequels which will deviate further away from the first three movies.

I don't know about you guys, but I think I have pretty much given up on this once beloved franchise.

Monday, April 9, 2018

Movie review of A Quiet Place

A Quiet Place - 8.5/10
Directed by John Krasinski


I remember watching the teaser trailer for this quite some time back and thought to myself that this might just be something interesting. And indeed it was, when I watched it last week. A Quiet Place completely took me by surprise. It is definitely one of my top movies for this year. Everything was pretty much perfect. A fantastic screenplay with a great cast would always make a compelling movie and A Quiet Place is no exception.

Casting was great. When you only need a handful of actors for the movie, choosing a good actor with chemistry is important. John Krasinski and Emily Blunt who are real life couples fitted perfectly. John Krasinski is the director as well. But the ones who stole the show to me are the kids, Noah Jupe and Milicent Simmonds. For a movie that has very little script, the actors have to really heavily on facial expressions to tell the story and everyone did that. John Krasinski of "Office" fame has that look, that can change from happy to sad. Emily Blunt to me always had that tortured tired look, like what she did in "Sicario". But to me the kids were the best. Noah Jupe had that really scared shitless expression, I kinda felt sorry for the fella. Milicent Simmonds who is really deaf in real life, was the one for me. There was a brief period in the movie where I was furious with her. When someone who can make me hate a character easily, is definitely a good actor. And for Milicent, she does it all with facial expressions. Absolutely brilliant.

The whole experience watching A quiet Place is intense as fuck from the get go. You will be gripping to someone or the seat itself. That's how intense the movie is. Camera works were good and I have to say John Krasinski did a pretty good job directing this.

All in all, you really need to watch A Quiet Place in the cinema. You won't really have the same experience watching it from home. Because Sound is very important in this movie.

Absolutely worth watching on a weekend. Watch it with your loved ones but not kids. And a word of advice, don't bring in food like popcorn or potato chips. Trust me, you won't even be eating it.