Saturday, 29 December 2007

Movie review of National Treasure Book of Secrets

National Treasure - 4.8/10
Directed by Jon Turteltaub
Producer by Jerry Bruckheimer

Plot Summary
A missing page from the diary of John Wilkes Booth surfaces, Bens great-great grandfather Thomas Gates is suddenly implicated as a key conspirator in Abraham Lincolns death. Ben is determined to prove his ancestors innocence.

This movie is like from the the 1st movie, nothing really special to look forward to. Interesting facts about American and it's history was shown. Acting is normal I guess.
Clues and puzzles was solved easily like as though not much thought was required.
(why bother leaving clues if it was that simple...might as well tell you where it is)
Breaking in to high security places with guards all over makes it look like a walk in a park. (and i mean really high security places...say Buckingham palace
Computer genius Riley Poole aka Justin Bartha makes hacking to any securuity system a breeze.
Look out for the high speed car chase scene through the city which apparently no cops appeared. hmm?

Let me do a run down of what the main characters do;
Ben Gates: the person who solves the clues easily
Riley Poole: the person who can hack into ANY computer system
Abigail Chase(Ben GF) : helps check the missing page from the diary of John Wilkes for clues
Patrick Gates(Ben's father): helps decipher a code (the clue that was passed down from his grandfather...surprising how a person of his age can remember the exact clue after so many years without writting it down)
Emily Appleton(Ben's mother): helps decipher Native American glyphs

Mitch Wilkinson: helps with some clues which only he has.

Ending was expected but with a minor crap twist which I was like :S Also lookout for a "waterproof hand phone"

This show has entertainment value ... but good for a weekday and watch only if you are bored for a weekend.

P.s wonder if there is a 3rd installment ... look out for "page 47"

Written by JZ

Thursday, 27 December 2007

Movie review of I am Legend

I am Legend - 4.5/10
Directed by Francis Lawrence

Plot Summary
A doctor finds a cure for cancer using a virus which help kills the cancer cells. She manages to cure about 10000 people but the virus will in turn make people become blood hungry zombies. One man by the name of Robert Neville (Will Smith), works on a cure for a few years finding the cure for this zombie virus, his blood is the key to this virus as he is immune to it. Based on the book of the same name.

The first 30mins of this movie was pretty cool. The plot and everything else went pretty well right until when I first saw the zombies. They looked like fuck! Shitty CGI for the zombies. Now I don't understand why use CGI when George a Romero (The Master of Zombie Genre) could use very good make up when he did his other zombie movies. The CGI zombies in my opinion was a waste of money which could have been spent on getting better writers and a director. The "I am Legend" reviews I have read so far says, the writers fucked up in everything that was in the original book. In other words, they "Hollywoodized" it. I have yet to read the book (which I intend to in the near future).
I also didn't like the ending which is kinda stupid. Robert Neville was supposed to be the last man on earth...Now where the fuck did the hispanic or Russian sounding chick and her fucking mute brother come from?
Editing and cinematography was pretty fine. The way they made a deserted New York was indeed very nice. Soundtrack was awesome cause it's BOB MARLEY (and's not cause of my hair)! The end credits is the redemption song which is a fucking great song by the way.
Acting wise, Will Smith did a pretty standard job. To me he is the black version of Tom Cruise. There are scenes which he tries to do the whole Tom Hanks in Cast Away thingy which was kinda annoying. This fucker has a really silly look when he cries, he really shouldn't cry in any of his movies. It's ridiculous but despite all that, I like watching Will Smith's movies and will continue doing so.
Don't watch this movie on a weekend. Watch it on a weekday and if you are really bored. Other than that wait for the dvd. There are another 2 versions of the book which have been done before. The last man on earth(1964) starring Vincent Price and Omega Man(1971) starring Charlton Heston.

Recommended movies by the director
Constantine (This has keanu reeves and fans of the comic book series. Hated it and Yes it is also "Hollywoodized" written all over it as well.Thats why!)

Monday, 24 December 2007

Movie review of The Warlords

The Warlords - 6.5/10
Directed by Peter Chan

Plot Summary
3 men who become blood brothers (by doing a weird ritual). The story unfolds about them going through a series of changes like war, politics and love which is a deadly concoction in my opinion. Based on the Qing Dynasty story called "Assassination of ma".

Acting is pretty bad.
Andy matter how hardworking this fella is, he is just not an actor. Whenever he shouts or talks in an angry voice, it sounds ridiculous and laughable. But this is definitely one of his better performances as an actor.
Takeshi kaneshiro...this fucker simply cannot make it. The reason why he is casted in this movie is just eyecandy for chicks.
Jet li..he is horrible when he acts as a good guy but when he becomes evil, he's
And thats what happens in this movie, he has very good scenes and bad scenes just based on his emotions for each particular scene. Cinematography is good. The battle scenes are beautiful and sometimes very breath taking. I love the gore and the kill scenes are fucking fantastic. The fight choreography alone is worth the money. Editing on the other hand is a fucking letdown for a big budget movie. I do not understand why the director never emphasized on the editing. The cuts are so obvious...very amateur.
All in all I still feel it's a good movie despite it being a bit too draggy. Worth watching on a weekend.

Recommended movies by the director
He's a man, She's a woman or Perhaps love
Here is another review written by Jos

The Warlords - 4.5/10

This movie was a complete letdown.Don't believe the hype and never mind the trailer that looked pretty good.As far as I am concerned, there are no epic battle sequences, even the atrocity that was Troy had better battle action sequences. The only really good action part is a bandit raid on the army in little valley and that too was because Jet Li pulled off some cool moves which was what I wanted to see, not him burying his face in a fucking cloth and sobbing, thats right, the fucker is crying in this movie along with his 2 other blood brothers at various points in the movie. In fact it was the heroine who didn't cry, which is no wonder cause she is after all, banging two of the blood brothers.

A little side fact, the movie actually had like 2 directors it seem cause the main director admits to not being able to direct action sequences and so got another guy so he could concentrate on the drama bits for which he is supposedly famous for....

Which is true cause this movie was so drama that it might actually give Tamil movies a run for its money. I actually dozed off in the theatre and found I didn't miss a beat, thats how freaking draggy this is..plot wise, it raises a serious question in relation to the state and oneself and the roles we play in order to achieve peace however it fails to or rather very weakly addresses the issues.

Of course the fact that the acting is so bad didn't help, the fact that we have a character repeating a line numerous time and we know he is not retarded is a clear indication.I mean even the audience was actually laughing and it wasn't even suppose to be a funny bit, it was dead serious.

Weird blood brother ceremonies, sobbing action heroes, bad acting action heroes, weird assassinations. Tons of pau being thrown around. Along with some really weird edits, I really regret forking out money to watch this movie. I would wait for it to come to dvd which you would borrow from a friend or our local library.Wait for it to be featured on TV during CNY or something. Don't even bother wasting bandwidth to download it.

Recommended movies by the director:
Never watch another movie from this director unless you're a whiny punk ass bitch.

Monday, 17 December 2007

Movie review of The Golden Compass

Golden Compass - 4/10
Directed by Chris Weitz

Plot Summary
In a world where everyone has their soul for an animal which is known as daemon, a little girl has to save a boy and other children who have had their souls taken. Armed with a compass (which only she can read and tells the truth), a meerkat (her daemon), a group of gypsies, a flying boat captain and a polar bear, she goes to the north in search of her quest. And no you do need to be high on narcotics to watch this.

Nothing really fantastic about this movie to be honest. It was rather dull despite all the hype. Also i have no idea why the christians are so anal about this movie especially the ones in the U S of A. It doesn't even say "fuck G*d", not even in the most subliminal or subtle way. Most reviews I found are saying that the books are way much better read which has always been true. And by the way its a trilogy. The effects for this movie are good but nothing spectacular and the editing was alright. Script wise was nothing fantastic and it's ending is open, which means in order to watch the sequel, you have to watch this movie. Acting was rather mediocre. Another thing which I didn't like about this movie was its pace, sometimes too fast and sometimes way too slow. The only good thing from this movie was the polar bear fight scene. Evil bear is voiced by Ian Mcshane(bad guy in deadwood) and good bear is voiced by Sir Ian Mckellen(good guy in Lord of the rings).

Would I watch the sequel? Yes, despite all its imperfections I would.
Would I watch the 2nd Narnia movie? No, cause Narnia, her wardrobe, her closet and her cheebye can go and fuck themselves.

(Editor note: Narnia was a 4/10 movie which to me is a watch once only. The book by C.S. Lewis is much better)

Watch this movie on a weekday if you are really that bored. If you have to bring kids along, then this movie is good on weekends. If not just wait for the dvd.

Recommended movies by the director
About a boy(Hugh Grant)
If you really want to watch a good fantasy movie, I suggest Lord of the Rings or Willow at the very least.

Thursday, 13 December 2007

Movie review of 30 days of Night

30 days of Night - 4.5/10
Directed by David Slade

Plot Summary
Alaskan town goes through a month of darkness once a year because of the blizzard.
This time a gang of vampires comes in and "makan" them.
Based on the comic book of the same name.

Nothing fantastic about this movie even though I love vampires. I haven't read the comic books yet so I ain't really sure if it follows close to it. The vampires look kinda weird though, like a cross between an alien and a vampire. They speak in latin or some scandinavian language. As you watch the movie, you kinda feel that the pace is sometimes in a big rush and also you might have this feeling that there are some missing scenes. Acting is nothing fantastic(its josh hartnett), the editing is much to be desired. Also there isn't much of a scare factor either especially for those who want to be spooked. Only recommended for the comic book fans, if possible watch it through a rented dvd.

Recommended movies by the director
Hard candy

Wednesday, 12 December 2007

Movie review of The Kingdom

The Kingdom - 7/10
Directed by Peter Berg
Produced by Michael Mann(one of them)
Original Music by Danny Elfman

Plot Summary
After a bombing of an American facility in Saudi Arabia(which was nicely planned by the way),a team of FBI agents go to Saudi Arabia to find the killer.

I've managed to watch most of the movies directed by Peter Berg. For those who do not know who the fuck he is, he used to be an actor in the series Chicago hope(dr.Billy). His style of direction is not bad. I kinda liked the cinematography as well as the editing and script. As for the cast, Jamie foxx(Ray) was pretty good, Jennifer garner(Alias) was redundant. There were parts in the movie you won't realize she is there at all and I've no idea why Jason Bateman(arrested development) is there. My guess he is there for comedic relief. Chris cooper(American beauty) who is a good actor, but tries very hard to be funny here, not his forte', I guess. The one actor i really liked is Ashraf barhom, he is the Saudi general who is assigned to guard and assist the Americans.

Worth watching on a weekday,but watch it on a weekend if you really have nothing else to watch.

Recommended movies by director
-Very Bad Things
-Friday Night Lights
-The Rundown

Movie review of D-War Dragon wars

D-war - 1/10
Directed by hyung rae shim

Plot Summary
It's based on some Korean legend,that some unknown creatures will return and devastate the planet every 500 years. It's supposed to be 2 serpents, one is good and one is bad...they have to eat this chick which is meant as sacrifice for the good serpent so he can become a dragon and go to heaven.
But the bad serpent and it's army of evil soldiers and reptiles want the chick for himself. Reporter Ethan Kendrick is called in to investigate the matter and he arrives at the conclusion that a girl, stricken with a mysterious illness, named Sarah is suppose to help him.

Do not under any circumstances watch this shit movie even if you are a fan of dragons or anything Korean. I'm not a fan of dragon movies cause, since I watched a particular dragon movie in which the dragon has a Scottish accent, I just gave up. Anyway back to this ...the director is Korean and apparently he is a comedic actor and the last movies he directed are some of the titles;

2)dragon tuka
3)Tirano's claw
4)Young gu and the princess zzu zzu
5)Young gu and count Dracula.

(by the way they are all real and I didn't make up any titles)

D-war is worse than a b-grade movie...the actors are horrible, so is the acting and the script. After 15 mins of the movie, I just could not wait for it to finish so i can get on with my life. The only good thing is there are some scenes which the special effects are pretty cool.(hence the 1 point) In fact this movie is so horrible I would rather watch that particular movie which has the dragon with a Scottish accent all over for the fuck of it.

Recommended movies by the director
None! with titles like young gu and the princess zzu zzu, I rather not.

Movie review of Hitman

Hitman - 5/10
Directed by Xavier Gens

Plot Summary
A professional assassin or hit man known only as Agent 47 is ensnared in a political conspiracy, which finds him being pursued by both Interpol and the Russian military as he treks across Eastern Europe. Hired by a group known as "The Agency" to kill targets for cash. This movie is also adapted from the video game called hit man. It's a trilogy' but lets see if Hollywood will do the other 2.

Good things 1st,even though I have never completed the game, I still like the whole idea of it. When I heard Hollywood is gonna do a movie version of it, I thought to myself..these idiots still can't seem to learn their lessons after making shitty movies from games time to time. But to my surprise this video game adaption is pretty good despite a few flaws. The hero here is agent 47 (botak with a bar code tattoo) acted by Tim Olyphant(die hard 4.0) is a pretty decent in this movie and I couldn't think of any other actors who could have done a better job. The fight and kill scenes are pretty decent as well.

Bad parts...apart from Tim Olyphant,the rest of the cast were pretty bad. From Dougray Scott to the French chick Olga Kurylenko. The script is pretty awful as well. The editing was shit! I'm not sure if its the censorship here or just the editing itself. It really fucks the flow of the movie. One thing I don't seem to fucking understand is this movie is rated nc16. You can see tits but you can't see someone's fucking head blown off. Anyway..its a pretty decent movie to watch on a weekday but I think only fans of the game would like the movie. Anyone who hasn't played or heard of the game shouldn't bother watching it.

Recommended movies
Director hasnt done anything interesting yet but you can watch this 2 movies Bourne identity(Matt Damon) and soldier(Kurt Russell), cause hitman is like these 2 movies together.