Tuesday, 26 February 2008

Movie review of Jumper

Jumper - 2/10
Directed byCast - Samuel L Jackson, Hayden Christensen

Plot Summary
A genetic anomaly(Just think of nightcrawler of Xmen) allows a young man to teleport himself anywhere. He discovers this gift has existed for centuries and finds himself in a war that has been raging for thousands of years between "Jumpers" and those who have sworn to kill them"paladins".

What a waste of money. Do not watch this movie cause it is shit! Everything in it is shit. What was the director thinking??? From Bourne Identity to this...what the fuck happened??? The direction was terrible and so was the cinematography. The editing was one of the worst for this year.and for the special effects department... I say go jump off a building or something. It was ridiculous and terrible at the same time.
Acting....sometimes I just wish someone would slap the stupidness out of Samuel L Jackson. Why does he keep taking shitty roles and shitty movies?? I'm also getting tired of that "Sam Jackson Angry Look". He really should fire his agent for making him do these movies.
Hayden Christensen...this fella can't act. It's that simple. He will only be remembered as Anakin Skywalker, even that he was quite bad but it's STAR fucking WARS so it's fine. Darth Vader's helmet has more facial expressions than Hayden. In jumper, half the time the fucker is mumbling.wtf....
Don't even bother watching this movie,even if it's paid for.

Best Quote
Cox: Only God should have this power.

Recommended movies by the director
The bourne Identity(Matt Damon)
Mr and Mrs Smith (Brad Pitt)

Movie review of Charlie Wilson's War

Charlie Wilson's War - 7/10
Directed by Mike NicholsScreenplay - Aaron Sorkin
Cast - Tom Hanks,Julia Roberts,Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Plot Summary
In the early 1980s, Charlie Wilson(Hanks) is a womanizing US congressional representative from Texas who seemed to be in the minor leagues, except for the fact that he is a member of two major foreign policy and covert-ops committees. However, prodded by his major conservative supporter, Joanne Herring(Roberts), Wilson learns about the plight of the people that are suffering in the brutal Soviet occupation of Afghanistan. With the help of a maverick CIA agent, Gust Avrakotos(Hoffman), Wilson dedicates his canny political efforts to supply the Afghan mujahideen with weapons and support to defeat the Soviet Union. However, Charlie Wilson eventually learns that while military victory can be done, there are other consequences and prices to it that are ignored.

Everytime Phillip Seymour Hoffman is in a scene, its marvelous. This fucker can act and all his lines are funny and cool. I've always like Tom Hanks ever since he did BIG but his make up... his hair..what the fuck...was he trying to look like Nicholas Cage or what? Despite the wig..he does a decent job. Julia Roberts on the other hand looks like a fat cow and can't act for nuts. She should have just stuck to being a hooker. It's also been awhile since I saw om puri act as well. Loved him in City of Joy.
Direction is pretty good in this movie but the editing was so so only. The script is fucking brilliant and you got to thank Sorkin for that. All in all it's worth watching on a weekend. The script and all of Phillip Seymour Hoffman's scenes are worth the ticket money spent.

Best Quotes

Charlie Wilson: You know you've reached rock bottom when you're told you have character flaws by a man who hanged his predecessor in a military coup.

Larry Liddle: Does the Congressman only hire beautiful women?

Charlie's Angel #2: As the Congressman says, "you can teach them to type, but you can't teach them to grow tits."

Gust Avrakotos: [after smashing his boss's office window] My loyality?For twenty four years people have been trying to kill me! People who know how. And do you think thats because I'm the son of a Greek soda pop maker, or because I'm an American spy. Go fuck youself, you fucking child!

Cravely: I don't know why I didn't fire you then. Gust Avrakotos: Oh, I think you know why. Cravely: What's that supposed to mean?

Gust Avrakotos: You're fucking Roger's fiance, and you know I know.

Cravely: I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response.

Gust Avrakotos: Yeah, you're dignifying her in the ass, at the Jackson Motel, Room 1210...

Charlie's Angel #4: The Congressman has never been to rehab. They don't serve whisky at rehab.

FYI - his secretaries are called charlie's angels.

Recommended movies by the director
The Graduate(Dustin Hoffman)
The Birdcage(Robin Williams)
Closer(Julia Roberts) but seriously fuck this movie...it does sucks ass.

Wednesday, 13 February 2008

Movie review of Atonement

Atonement - 7/10
Directed by Joe Wright
Cast - Keira Knightley,James Mcavoy

Plot Summary
Fledgling writer Briony Tallis, as a 13-year-old, irrevocably changes the course of several lives when she accuses her older sister's (Keira Knightley) lover (James McAvoy) of a crime he did not commit. Based on the British romance novel by Ian McEwan.

Keira Knightley is still a horrible actress and butt ugly as well, not to mention ...no tits. I love the cinematography and the camera work for this movie. The 51/2 min track shot was brilliant but I wouldn't say this is one of the best (Children of men is better) but it's still beautifully done. The love thingy between Knightley and Mcavoy does look rather exaggerated at times. As usual the book is better but the movie is commendable. It's rather slow in the beginning but nonetheless this movie is a cool "whodunit" kinda thing. The twist in the end is somewhat predictable but interesting enough. Soundtrack is excellent.
Worth watching on a weekday only. Watch it on a weekend if you like anything British.

Best Quote
Tommy Nettle: Never trust a sailor on dry land.

Recommended movies by the director
Pride and Prejudice(Knightley)

Monday, 11 February 2008

Movie review of The Counterfeiters

The Counterfeiters - 6/10
Directed by Stefan Ruzowitzky
Cast - Karl Markovics,August Diehl,Devid Striesow

Plot Summary
The Counterfeiters is the true story of the largest counterfeiting operation in history, set up by the Nazis in 1936.
Even though the movie has a great plot, everything else falls short in this German movie. The acting is very mediocre and monotonous. The editing is bad and the ending is very rushed. Cinematography and direction is not good. There is nothing special nor memorable about this movie and sadly it is Austria's submission for the best foreign movie for the oscars this year.It won't win. Don't bother watching this movie if you are gonna pay for it.

Movie review of Juno

Juno - 6.5/10
Directed by Jason Reitman
Cast - Ellen Page,Micheal Cera(Arrested development),Jennifer Garner(Alias),Jason Bateman(Arrested development)

Plot Summary
16 year old juno gets pregnant. She tells her best friend and her parents about it. Instead of going for an abortion she decides to give birth to the baby and then give it up for adoption.Her boyfriend,best friend and parents are supportive of it.This would have been a horror gore slasher SHORT film if they were Indian parents.

Feel good movie. Acting is nice. Ellen Page is nominated for her role as Juno. Micheal Cera does his standard role just like the one in Aressted Development. Cinematography and editing is fine as well. All in all it is a good movie. Even though the script is rather very American and probably more what teenagers talk like nowadays, it is still wonderful and witty. kudos to Diablo Cody for that. Worth watching on a weekday or if there is nothing else to do on a weekend.

Best Quote
Juno MacGuff: You should've gone to China, you know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.
Rollo: You better pay for that pee-stick when you're done with it. Don't think it's yours just because you marked it with your urine!

Recommended movies by the director
Thank you for smoking(Aaron Eckhart)

Movie review of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - 7.5/10
Directed by Julian Schnabel
Cast - Mathieu Amalric(Munich), Emmanuelle Seigner,Marie-Josée Croze(Munich),Max Von Sydow(The Exorcist)

Plot Summary
The true story of french Elle editor Jean-Dominique Bauby who suffers a stroke and has to live with an almost totally paralyzed body. Using only his left eye and his imagination, he writes a book.

A fucking brilliant movie! kudos to the writer Ronald Harwood, The director and The cast. Superb cinematography and camera work. There are so many scenes which makes you see through the eye (no pun intended) of Jean-Dominique Bauby. There are so many different scenes which will invoke your emotions. Happiness, Sadness and Anger. My favourite scene is the phone call between Jean-Dominique Bauby and his father(Max Von Sydow). Sydow's acting was so touching, it really did bring a tear in my eye. Another good thing is the movie is in French and not English. It stays true to its main character. A definite must watch! really worth watching on a weekend and buying the dvd as well.

Best Quote
Jean-Dominique Bauby: I decided to stop pitying myself. Other than my eye, two things aren't paralyzed, my imagination and my memory.

Recommended movies by the director
Before night falls(Depp and Bardem))

Movie review of The assassination of Jesse James by the coward Robert Ford

The assassination of Jesse James by the coward Robert Ford - 3.5/10
Directed by Andrew Dominik
Cast - Brad Pitt,Casey Affleck,Sam Rockwell,Mary Louise Parker

Plot Summary
Robert Ford who idolizes Jesse James from young, tries to join James' gang of outlaws and becomes close to him. But as he becomes closer, he begins to hate his idol and wants him to be captured.

The fucking title pretty much tells the whole fucking story. In fact by reading the whole fucking title out loud is more exciting than watching this movie! 2hours and 40mins of sheer fucking boredom. watching grass grow should be more entertaining. If you want to know more about Jesse James or Robert Ford, I suggest you just go to wikipedia and read about it then watching this movie. Cinematography was ok. Editing wasn't that good though. The acting also was so so. This would have been a good movie if there were some action or good shooting scenes and also not making it too fucking long. The first 1/2 hour, I thought I was watching a movie directed by Kevin Costner. Fuck! Then the title would have been THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD WHILE DANCING WITH WOLVES. hahaha. (<--- Editor: "lame." :P)
Avoid this movie at all costs.
Best Quote
Jesse James: Do you want to be like me? Or do you want to BE me?

Recommended movies by the director
Chopper(Eric Bana)

Movie review of CJ7

CJ7 - 3.5/10
Directed by Stephen Chow
Cast - Stephen Chow

Plot Summary
A poor construction worker and his son, learns an important lesson on life from a shitty looking alien.

This could be the worst Stephen Chow movie I have seen. What a waste of money! This movie is so not for adults. It's for kids! The jokes are boring and the special effects are way too much and cheesy. The acting is horrible especially the female teacher. She acts as if a broom is shoved up her ass. So fucking stiff!
Chow made a bad move on this one. It's as if he was trying to do chinese E.T. The sad part is he is not even in the main role, his is more of a supporting role. I have always been a big fan of this fucker (directing wise) but if he is going to continue with shit like this, then he is the next Tsui Hark(whom I have a deep hatred for for). Definitely not worth watching in the cinemas at all. Wait for dvd or download.

Best Quote
Ti:yes there is something wrong with my body
Miss Yuen: What is it?
Ti: I am far too handsome.

Recommended movies by the director
Kungfu Hustle <--- Editor's pick
Shaolin Soccer
God of cookery
From Beijing with love

Wednesday, 6 February 2008

Movie review of No country for old men

No country for old men - 6.5/10
Directed by the Coen Brothers
Cast - Javier Bardem,Tommy lee jones,Woody Harrelson

Plot Summary
A hunter (Josh Brolin) discovers a few Mexican bodies, a stash of heroin and a bag of 2 million bucks. He decides to take the money,unbeknownst to him, there was a transponder in the bag and everyone including a fucking psycho assasin (Javier Bardem) with a bad hair cut hunts him down.

Coen brothers' style of direction has never been my cup of tea. The only movies I really enjoyed was "O' Brother where art thou" and "Big Lebowski". I admit they do have a unique style of direction. Some people like it, some dont' and I fall under the "don't". Cinematography was pretty good and so was the editing. The coen brothers do have a good chance of winning best picture and best director for the oscars but then again I have not watched any of the other nominations except for there will be blood. One thing for sure is, the best supporting actor will go to Javier Bardem. He plays the assasin like no other. From his facial expression you can tell what kinda person he is. One with priorities and no fucking remorse. Surprisingly Tommy Lee Jones did a rather mediocre job in this movie. Josh Brolin on the other hand simply reminded me of another actor,Micheal Madsen. The same deadpan look through out. What I didn't like was the ending. I found it too abrupt. There are other ways to do it but just not what the Coen brothers did. Unfortunately I can't give you any other details as it would fuck up the show.
Worth watching on a weekend if you are a fan of Coen brothers or if you like assassins (with a bad haircut).

Best Quote
Carla Jean Moss: You don't have to do this.
Anton Chigurh: [smiles] Everybody says that.

Recommended movies by the directors
O' Brother where art thou
Big Lebowski
Raising Arizona

Movie review of Rambo 4

Rambo 4 - 4.5/10
Directed by Sylvester stallone
Cast - Sylvester Stallone - "who gives a shit about other actors when you have Stallone in it.hahahaha"

Plot Summary
Do you really need a plot summary when it's Rambo here we are talking here?... Fine! A group of stupid and irritating over zealous Christian shitheads wants to go to war torn Burma to save people. They ask RAMBO as the boatman to bring them there since, he is living in thailand catching snakes. They go there and get caught by a local infantry unit who just likes killing and exploding people. Back in Thailand, the head priest, employs a bunch of mercenaries to bring them back and asks RAMBO to be the boatman again. RAMBO brings them back and also kills shitloads of bad guys in return.

Watching the first scene, I knew it's gonna be funny. RAMBO goes fishing with his trademark bow and arrow!!! Fishing rods are for pussies! hahahahaha. Anyway back to the review. Well Stallone directed this movie and I really think he should just stick to I can't SAY acting so I'll just SAY blowing shit up and beating evil men. Acting here is bad even from the rest of the cast. The movie has the worst editing job done this year. It was horrible. Direction and cinematography is shit as well. The effects was bad even the CGI blood was so fake. While you are watching the movie halfway there is a sudden change in colour as well. The only good lines are from RAMBO himself (there are some Punisher like moments as well) but it's fucking RAMBO and nothing else matters. To be honest only fans of 80's action movies will like this especially the boys. If you have watched all the Rambo series more than twice and loved it, you will definitely have to watch this. just for the nostalgia.it's great seeing rambo back.

Best quote
John J. Rambo: Y'know what you are, what you're made of. War is in your blood. When you're pushed, killing's as easy as breathing.

John J. Rambo: Fuck the World!

Recommended movies done by the director
Rocky 4
Rocky 3
Staying Alive
you can also watch the ones he has acted.
The entire RAMBO series.

Monday, 4 February 2008

Movie review of There will be blood

There will be blood - 7.5/10
Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson
Cast - Daniel Day Lewis,Paul Dano

Plot Summary
The movie is about a family which comprises of a father, Daniel Plainview (Day Lewis) who is a turn of the century prospector and his son. They deal in the oil business. They go to a town where Daniel meets a Christian evangelist,Eli Sunday (Paul Dano) who is also out for money.

I did find the first half an hour of the movie abit dull. Daniel Day Lewis acting was normal and was thinking to myself',"I don't think he is going to win with a performance like that". Then after the first half an hour onwards,you can see the character development and Lewis gets more and more aggressive with his acting. The last 45 mins alone is enough for him to win the oscar for best actor for the 2nd time (1st is for My Left Foot) which he thoroughly deserves.
Paul dano (Little Miss Sunshine),to my surprise does a rather commendable effort and manages to stand up to lewis's character. I just couldn't stand his screams which was rather girly. The script for this movie is fucking brilliant. The lines from daniel day lewis's character is very menancing and hurtful
(the fucker just doesn't give a fuck about anyone). <-- *Sounds like someone I know ;)
Direction is once again good as its PT Anderson but it'll never be as brilliant as Magnolia. I loved the cinematography and the editing was good as well. The score for this movie is daunting and rather eerie actually. You have to watch this movie just for the acting. Especially all the scenes with Daniel Day Lewis and Paul Dano's characters pitting against each other.
Worth watching on a weekend.DVD collecters should have this in their collection as well.

Best Quote(it is pretty long but its damn good)
Eli Sunday: Daniel, I'm asking if you'd like to have business with the Church of the Third Revelation in developing this lease on young Bandy's thousand acre tract. I'm offering you to drill on one of the great undeveloped fields of Little Boston!

Plainview: I'd be happy to work with you.

Eli Sunday: You would? Yes, yes, of course. Wonderful.

Plainview: But there is one condition for this work.

Eli Sunday: Alright.

Plainview: I'd like you to tell me that you are a false prophet... I'd like you to tell me that you are, and have been, a false prophet... and that God is a superstition.

Eli Sunday: ...but that's a lie... it's a lie, I cannot say it. [long pause]

Eli Sunday: When can we begin to drill?

Plainview: Right away.

Eli Sunday: How long will it take to bring in the well?

Plainview: Should be very quick.

Eli Sunday: I would like a one hundred thousand dollar signing bonus plus the five that is owed with interest.

Plainview: That's only fair.

Eli Sunday: I am a false prophet and God is a superstition. If that's what you believe, then I will say it. Plainview: Say it like you mean it.

Eli Sunday: Daniel...

Plainview: Say it like it's your sermon.

Eli Sunday: This is foolish. [long pause]

Eli Sunday: I am a false prophet! God is a superstition! I am a false prophet! God is a superstition! I am a false prophet! God is a superstition! [pause]

Eli Sunday: Is that fine?

Plainview: Those areas have been drilled.

Eli Sunday: What?

Plainview: Those areas have been drilled.

Eli Sunday: ...no they haven't...

Plainview: It's called drainage. I own everything around it... so I get everything underneath it.

Eli Sunday: But there are no derricks there. This is the Bandy tract. Do you understand?

Plainview: Do you? I drink your water, Eli. I drink it up. Everyday. I drink the blood of lamb from Bandy's tract.

Recommended movies by the director
Punch Drunk Love
Boogie Nights

Movie review of Sweeney Todd:the demon barber of fleet street

Sweeney Todd - 7/10
Directed by Tim Burton
Cast - Johnny Depp,Helena Bonham Carter,Alan Rickman

Plot Summary
Based on the hit Broadway musical which tells the infamous story of Benjamin Barker, a.k.a Sweeney Todd(Depp), who sets up a barber shop down in London which is the basis for a sinister partnership with his fellow tenant, Mrs. Lovett(Carter). A la musical version of the Count of Monte Cristo only that this time The Count is a barber.

Even though I have never been a fan of musicals,this one wasn't that bad.Why? Cause it has Johnny Depp and one of my fav bad guys, Alan Rickman in it. There were parts when I was really sleepy cos of the fucking singing but all in all I liked the story and the acting was decent. One thing I really liked also is the coloring of the movie, it was edited very nicely as well. Kudos to burton for the direction. The much talked about violence in the movie isn't really that bad. The kill scenes are pretty ok also. The ending was nicely done. Worth watching on a weekend if you like singing in your movies.

Best Quote
Judge Turpin(Alan rickman): Oh yes... such practices. The Geishas of Japan, the concubines of Siam, the catamites of Greece, the harlots of India. I have them all here, drawings of them. Everything you've ever dreamed of doing with a woman. Would you like to see?
Anthony Hope: I think there's been some mistake.
Judge Turpin: I think not. You gandered at my ward, Johanna. You gandered at her. YES, sir, you gandered!
Anthony Hope: I meant no harm.
Judge Turpin: Your meaning is immaterial. Mark me! If I see your face again on this street, you'll rue the day you were born.

Recommended movies by the director
Sleepy hollow
Edward Scissorhands
Ed Wood
Big Fish(This is not with depp)

Movie review of We own the night

We own the night - 5/10
Directed by James Gray
Cast - Robert Duvall,Joaquin Phoenix,Mark Wahlberg

Plot Summary
A New York nightclub manager tries to save his brother and father from Russian mafia hit men.

Good casting but somehow this movie falls short from quite a few things including acting.I don't know why but Joaquin Phoenix kinda, like overacted which is rather surprising. The first scene which I find totally unnecessary was a sex scene with Eva Mendes and Joaquin.And yes you get to see her boobs and all.

Even though Eva has a great body and all, she cannot act to save her life. Totally fucked up acting. She should really be in latino porn instead. Robert Duvall was pretty ok in this movie. Wahlberg was like just being in departed all over again. There were moments I thought at any time he would take his shirt off, break into a dance and sing his song "good vibrations". The cinematography and editing was pretty decent. Storyline was abit boring and I kinda feel they rushed the ending quite abit. Not worth watching in the cinema on a weekend. Worth watching on a lazy sunday. Just rent the dvd or something.

Best Quote
Burt Grusinsky: "If you piss in your pants, you only stay warm for so long."

Movies recommended from the director
The yards
Little Odessa
(sadly I haven't not watched any of these movies)