Wednesday, 31 December 2008

Movie Review of Traitor

Traitor - 4.5/10
Directed By Jeffery Nachmanoff
Cast - Don Cheadle,Guy Pearce,Said Taghmaoui

Plot Summary
When straight arrow FBI agent Roy Clayton heads up the investigation into a dangerous international conspiracy, all clues seem to lead back to former U.S. Special Operations officer, Samir Horn.

When I first read the synopsis and watch the trailer for Traitor,it looked promising.With an interesting plot and 3 very underrated actors,I was pretty eager to watch this movie.But alas,I was disappointed by the weak plot,script,direction and sadly the ending.The first half of the movie looked very promising.Don Cheadle(Hotel Rwanda) was excellent,his character is a Sudanese born devout American Muslim and a former US Army Explosives expert.I was very impressed by his accent and his acting.Said Taghmaoui(Sleeper Cell) is an underrated actor whom I think will be getting much bigger roles in the near future.His character is...well a terrorist.Guy Pearce whom I haven't seen in movies for abit,does a commendable job as the FBI agent.All I can say was with such a good cast,the movie was let down by a disappointing end,even with a predictable twist,I guess i was just hoping it wouldn't be a stupid Hollywood ending where the good guys win.what makes it worse is how the movie ends and trust me its a really stupid ending which really makes you wanna slap the fuck out of the person who wrote this shit.the screenplay was done by the director and the story was written by Steve Fucking Martins.yes the Steve Martin who does slapstick comedies like 3 Amigos,and Pink Panther(the real Closseau will always be the ever great Peter Sellers).Direction was rubbish as well.

As much as you love watching spy thriller movies or if you are a fan of Don Cheadle,do not waste your money watching this movie during the it on a weekday if you are that bored,if not just wait for the DVD rental.

Best Quotes
Samir Horn: The truth is complicated.

Recommended movies by the director

Movie Review of Transporter 3

Transporter 3 - 2.5/10
Directed by Olivier Megaton
Written by Luc Besson
Cast - Jasan Statham,Robert Knepper,Natalya Rudakova

Plot Summary
Frank Martin puts the driving gloves on to deliver Valentina, the kidnapped daughter of a Ukrainian government official, from Marseilles to Odessa on the Black Sea. En route, he has to contend with thugs who want to intercept Valentina's safe delivery and not let his personal feelings get in the way of his dangerous objective.

Oddly enough,I have watched all 3 transporter movies.I don't know why,but I have.Jason Statham has done a lot of shit movies,but there are few that weren't so bad.His worst is definitely Crank.
Amongst the 3 Transporter movies,I still think the 1st one was watchable.If you are into recent Luc Besson movies then you will like the Transporter series.Transporter 3 doesn't have stellar acting(they never do),good script or even a decent plot but who cares..Its mindless entertainment.Its like a Michael Bay movie but only cheaper and of course like every recent Luc Besson written movies,there are many ridiculous scenes.Transporter 2 has a scene where Statham's character Frank Martin is driving his car(Audi) which has a bomb strapped underneath.So what our hero does is drive real fast till he hits a bump which makes the car somersault in mid air so that the crane with a hook can unhook the bomb and land the car back on the ground and continue driving.In Transporter 3, we have Jason Statham's character Frank Martin and his trusty car(Audi) in a situation where he has to drive his car in to a lake.while being submerged,he makes a phone call to the police inspector who tells Frank,he will be there in ten mins.So Frank punches his Bullet Proof glass door with his bare hand,gets out of the car,opens the boot to take the inflatable raft,goes to the car's tyres,inhales the air from the tyre abit then inflates the raft which will get the car adrift.Oh he couldn't leave the car because he has a bomb strapped to his wrist and it will explode if he gets too far away from his car.After his ordeal, he manages to start up his car(Audi) which was submerged in the lake 10 mins ago (with deflated tyres) and chases after a train where the villain has kept the Russian damsel in distress(Natalya Rudakova) hostage.

Now if you are excited or have a hard on just by this scenario alone,go ahead and watch this movie during the weekend.

Best Quote
Frank Martin: Do I look like a man who came half-way across Europe to die on a bridge?

Recommended movies by the director

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Movie Review of Zack and Miri make a Porno

Zack and Miri make a porno - 7.5/10
Directed by Kevin Smith
Cast - Seth Rogen,Elizabeth Banks,Jason Mewes,Jeff Anderson,Craig Robinson and Traci Lords

Plot Summary
Lifelong platonic friends Zack and Miri look to solve their respective cash-flow problems by making an adult film together. As the cameras roll, however, the duo begin to sense that they may have more feelings for each other than they previously thought.

Now with a movie title like that,who wouldn't want to watch it eh? Hahaha.Zack and Miri make a porno is rated R21 and can only be seen from Golden Village cinemas.Its a typical Kevin Smith film and only fans of his movies will probably enjoy this one.movies like Clerks,Clerks 2 and Dogma.Even though Kevin Smith's direction are rather simple,it's his scriptwriting that really makes him who he is.All the lines in this movie are funny.Also if you are a fan of his older movies,you will also get to see his regular cast of actors also.its also good to see a mix of the cast of 40 year old virgin and Clerks coming together.As usual,Seth Rogen does an excellent job as the main comedic lead and Elizabeth Banks does a good job as the female lead as well.Coincidentally,they "had sex" in 40 year old Virgin.It is always nice to see Jeff Anderson aka Randall from Clerks,shooting his mouth off.but this time,I kinda felt he was alittle underutilized,then again this isn't a Clerks movie.Even the cameo appearances by Justin Long(Die Hard 4) and Brandon Routh(Superman Returns) was funny.But the guys who stole the show whenever they are on screen are Jason Mewes(Lester the Molester Cockenschtuff) and Craig Robinson(Delaney).They have the funniest lines and their facial expressions are fucking classic.
Direction like I mentioned earlier is simple.Cameraworks were ok too.Editing which was done by Kevin Smith also was not bad except for 2 scenes which was cut kinda abruptly.Script was brilliant.Soundtrack was nicely selected,you got a nice range of classic songs from bands like Jesus and Mary chain,DMX,Len,Blondie,Pixies and fucking Primus!

All in all,this movie is a definite must watch.Worth watching during the weekends.

Oh,I almost forgot,now if you grew up the hormonal times during the 80's,you probably must have watched porn tapes(Blue films was what we used to call it back then).You must have heard of this famous porn actress called Traci Lords.Traci Lords who quit adult films awhile back(she started when she was 16),started acting in quite a number of TV series then to movies.The first time I saw her was in Blade.
You also have Katie Morgan, another porn actress(for those who still watch porn might recognize her) who is still in the industry,did a pretty decent job.

Recently,I read a movie review from a critic of a certain newspaper discouraging people to watch this movie because it glorifies pornography, in her opinion,she thinks that adults especially those who just turned 21 will be encouraged by the movie to do porn and people who do not know about sex will think that its ok to fuck and film it just like the movie itself.Its pretty obvious that she is not a Kevin Smith fan.I don't know about you guys,but my parents never told me about the birds and the bees,in fact it was porn and friends.Most Asian parents during the 80's were conservative and felt uncomfortable telling their child about sex.It was always up to the child to figure it out.Well.that's my 2 cents worth anyway.So go check the movie out,who knows maybe YOU might get encouraged to fuck and film it.Hahaha...

Best Quotes
Zack Brown: What's your name?
Lester: Lester... Lester the Molester Cockenschtuff.
Zack Brown: Wow. That's a great porn name.
Lester: I get to pick a porn name?... Then I want to be called... Pete Jones.

Lester: I even tried to talk her into givin' me the fuckin' Dutch Rudder... shot me down on that, too.
Zack Brown: And a Dutch Rudder is...?
Lester: You don't know what a Dutch Rudder - alright, you grab your dick, and then you have somebody else work your arm. Here, lemme show you. Grab my arm, I'm grabbing my dick, you're grabbing my arm... now work it. Work it. Work my arm. See that shit? Now work it up and down. See that? It's like somebody else is jerking you off.

Zack Brown: This is just the beginning, guys. If Star Whores works and *it will*, we are set up for sequels galore. The Empire Strikes Ass.
Miriam Linky: Return of the Brown Eye.
Deacon: The Phantom Man Ass.
Delaney: And Revenge of the Shit: The All Anal Final Chapter.
[awkward silence]
Zack Brown: ...okay.
Delaney: Revenge of the Shit, you got it?
Miriam Linky: No, yeah we got it.
Stacey: Ew.
Delaney: [under his breath] Fuck you, mothafuckas.

Recommended movies by the director
Clerks 1 and 2
Jay and Silent Bob strikes back

Friday, 12 December 2008

Movie Review of Body of Lies

Body of Lies - 6/10
Directed by Ridley Scott
Cast - Leonardo DiCaprio,Russell Crowe, Mark Strong

Plot Summary
Roger Ferris(Leo Dicaprio) uncovers a lead on a major terrorist leader suspected to be operating out of Jordan.

Recently Ridley Scot has been doing a couple of shit movies like A Good Year and Kingdom of Heaven,he was pretty ok with American Gangster and like that Body Of Lies was ok as well.A very predictable high budgeted standard CIA movie based on terrorism.
From a visual point of view,Ridley Scott does it without difficulty.This is a director who knows what he is doing and does a damn good job even though if the plot or the script was weak,Ridley Scott would make up for it.Luckily for everyone,he is nothing like his retarded brother,Tony Scott.So by saying that,cinematography,camera works and direction were top notch.Screenplay however wasn't really that good,even though it was done by an Oscar winner,William Monahan(who is the same idiot who bastardized Infernal Affairs and turned it to Departed).
Acting was surprisingly good.Leo DiCaprio did a really commendable job on this.I have to admit, he was good in Blood Diamonds also.Russell Crowe does have acting skills besides getting angry and throwing telephones at hotel lobbies.The supporting cast was good also,the guy who stole the show was Mark Strong who eerily resembles like Andy Garcia but only more dark and evil.Every time he appears on screen,the menacing look, he gives does give you the creeps.An up and coming actor,I would watch out for..Mark Strong.
And that's all there is about the movie because the ending was rather tame.I wished they could have come up with a much more better ending and Ridley Scott would have another good movie under his name.

It's better to rent the dvd and watch Body of Lies.But if you really have nothing to do,then go ahead and watch it on a weekday.

Best Quotes
Hani: You Americans are incapable of secrets because of your democracy

Ed Hoffman: Ain't nobody likes the Middle East, buddy. There's nothing here to like.

Recommended movies by the director
Blade Runner
Black Rain

Wednesday, 10 December 2008

Movie Review of Bolt

Bolt - 4.5/10
Directed by Byron Howard,Chris Williams
Cast - John Travolta,Miley Cyrus,Susie Essman,Mark Walton and Malcolm Macdowell

Plot Summary
The canine star of a fictional sci-fi/action show that believes his powers are real embarks on a cross country trek to save his co-star from a threat he believes is just as real.

Review This is definitely one of the most visually stunning yet boring animated movies.Apparently its Pixar's 1st movie under Disney.And Disney movies are fucking boring as hell.Even the old school cartoons were fucking boring!(Warner Bros Cartoons rule!)and Fuck Mickey Mouse as well.There have been very very rare Disney movies that I have enjoyed and sadly Bolt belongs to the pile of shit Disney movies that I don't.
To begin with..this is probably the worst voice over cast for an animated movie.First you get the alien worshipping idiot, Mr John "Look Who's Talking" Travolta in the lead role.Then you have that inbred cunt, Miley "Fucking Hannah Montana Chow Cheebye" Cyrus as the 2ND lead.The only other casting which I enjoyed were Susie Essman (who was the foul mouthed wife in Larry David's Curb your enthusiasm) and Mark Walton who is an unknown.Only these two were funny.Travolta who can dance but cant act for shit has another dud now.He cant do voice overs as well.The only funny scenes coming from his lead role is when he isn't talking and doing funny faces which is fucking sad for an actor of his calibre.
Now if you are into animations and all,this is just fucking amazing.From the dog's fur to the backgrounds,its just beautiful.I was little stunned by the whole imagery in the first 15 mins of the movie.Despite that and a typical feel good heart warming storyline,this movie was let down by the voice over cast.

I would highly recommend you not to watch this movie at all.If you have kids and they insist on watching can either
a) slap them.
b)make them watch a good horror movie so they have nightmares.
c)read to them,L.Ron Hubbard's Battlefield Earth every fucking night.

Best Quotes
Rhino: Bolt! I can be a valuable addition to your team...
Bolt: I'm listening...
Rhino: I'm lightning quick; I have razor-sharp reflexes. Wha! And I'm a master of stealth.
Rhino: Plus, I'll keep the cat in check.
[Mittens rolls her eyes]
Bolt: [Gets down close to Rhino's ball] The road'll be rough.
Rhino: [indicates] I have a ball.
Bolt: There's no turnin' back.
Rhino: Guess I'll have to "roll" with the punches!
["surfs" his ball]
Bolt: Easy won't be part of the equation...
Rhino: Promise!
Bolt: I gotta warn ya, going into the belly of the beast - danger at every turn.
Rhino: [getting closer] I eat danger for breakfast!
Bolt: You hungry?
Rhino: [cracks neck] Starving!

Recommended movie by the director

Movie Review of Madagascar 2

Madagascar 2 - 6/10
Directed by Eric Darnall,Tom Mcgrath
Cast - Ben Stiller,Sasha Baron Cohen,David Schwimmer,Chris Rock,Jada Pinkett Smith

Plot Summary
The sequel to 2005's "Madagascar", in which New York Zoo animals, Alex the Lion, Marty the Zebra, Melman the Giraffe and Gloria the Hippo, still stranded on Madagascar, start to leave the island. All of a sudden, they land in the wilderness of Africa, where Alex meets the rest of his family, but has trouble communicating with them after spending so much time at the Central Park Zoo.

I watched the first and was mildly amused.The only characters that made me laugh were the penguins and the monkeys.And this time,The directors made sure there were more scenes of the penguins.The penguins stole the first show and they stole the sequel as well.
Well the movie immediately starts off where the first one ended.The 4 New York zoo animals head back home,along with them,The Lemur King,Julian(voiced by Sasha Baron Cohen) and his assistant,Maurice(voiced by Cedric The Entertainer).Weirdly,in my opinion,Julian doesnt sound like the same Julian in the first movie.I felt that the accents were different.Sadly the Lemurs this time did not have enough screen time.
The chemistry between Ben Stiller and Chris Rock were pretty standard,though I would like to see them do a movie together besides animation.
Editing was ok.The plot was much better than the 1st Madagascar as it has abit more depth in it.The script however I feel,the 1st Madagascar is way much better and has more memorable and funnier lines.Animation is still as good as the 1st one.
Like I said earlier,all the classic scenes are from the penguins,everytime they appear on screen,you will bound to laugh yr ass off.

Worth watching on a weekday or just wait for the rental if you are not into animated movies.

Best Quotes
Gloria: So you must be Moto Moto.
Moto Moto: The name so nice you say it twice.

Kowalski: We've lost engine one.
Kowalski: And engine two is no longer on fire.
Skipper: [on the microphone] This is your captain speaking. I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we will be landing immediately.
[everyone claps]
Skipper: The bad news is we're crash landing.
[Plane goes on a dive]
Skipper: When it comes to air travel, we know that you have no choice whatsoever, so we thank you for using Air Penguin.

Recommended movies by the director

Movie Review of Rabbit without Ears

Rabbit without Ears(German) - 7.5/10
Directed by Til Schweiger
Cast - Til Schweiger, Nora Tschirner

Plot Summary
Rainbow press reporter Ludo is sentenced to 8 months, but is released on probation. But he has to work 300 hours for a local daycare center and meets Anna who has unfinished business with him.

I love watching foreign movies and German thrillers esp. anything about the Nazis are my favourites.This is the first time I watched a romantic comedy in German.To be honest,I'm not a big fan of romantic comedies nowadays cause mostly they are about teenage cunts finding themselves and a fucking typical Hollywood ending which is nauseating.Luckily I took a chance watching this and it definitely turned out to be a great time in the cinema.
The last time I have watched Till Schweiger act was in the Stallone movie called Driven which is sadly about the American's lame version of Formula 1.I have not watched any of his German movies but would like to after watching Rabbit Without Ears.Till Schweiger co wrote this with Anika Denker and also directed it by himself which I think despite certain imperfections,the movie turned out well.
Cinematography was not bad and direction was ok.The plot however 115mins long,I felt was abit too long winded in the beginning and doesn't have a really attention grabbing powerful end but still there are lots of scenes which are funny,sad and happy in it.
Acting on the other hand was great.Nora Tschirner who kinda looks alittle like Audrey Tatou is a beautiful actress.She is pretty and can act(which lots of actresses cant).The transformation from a geek to a princess like woman was a natural for Nora.There was also very good chemistry between Nora and Till.Even the supporting cast did a great job.All 4 of Till Schweiger's children are in the movie.
But none of this can happen if there wasn't a great script.Even though it was German,it was still funny as hell.

Sadly this movie is not shown in many cinemas except certain Golden Village Cinemas.I would highly recommend you to watch this with your loved ones.

Friday, 5 December 2008

Movie Review of Taken

Taken - 4.5/10
Directed by Pierre Morel
Written by Luc Besson
Cast - Liam Neeson,Famke Janssen,Maggie Grace

Plot Summary
A former spy relies on his old skills to save his estranged daughter, who has been forced into the slave trade.

I have managed to watch one of Pierre Morel's District 13 and i got to admin,it was one helluva action just totally reminded me of 80's action movies but with better fight and action when I found that the movie Taken was done by him,so I decided to check it out.Well after watching Taken, I found out it wasn't as great as District 13 but it was not so bad.
Cinematography and cameraworks were pretty standard,nothing spectacular and all.Even the acting is rather normal.Casting on the other hand was bad.Liam Neeson as the former spy does not seem to fit the role at all.Famke Janssen as the divorced wife of Liam Neeson's character who now is happily married to some rich business man is really irritating and she has some really shitty lines as well.The worst is none other than Maggie Fucking Grace.At the start of the movie,I was already irritated by her acting,and she looked oh so familiar,she was none other than the irritating bitch who was in LOST Season 1.Good thing they killed her off.
The good thing about this movie is the fight sequences.all the scenes were nicely choreographed.
Overall,if you enjoy watching spy or assasins movies,you probably will enjoy this.
Wait for the dvd or watch it on cable.

Best Quote
Bryan: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

Marko: [after a long pause] Good luck.

Recommended movies by the director
District 13

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

Movie Review of Quantum Of Solace

Quantum of Solace - 6/10
Directed by Marc Forster
Cast - Daniel Craig,Judi Dench,Olga Kurylenko

Plot Summary
Seeking revenge for the death of his love, secret agent James Bond sets out
to stop an environmentalist from taking control of a country's water supply.

I was eagerly waiting to watch Quantum of Solace which is the follow up to
Casino Royale,but after watching it I did have mixed reactions about it.When
I first heard that Marc Forster will be directing the Quantum of Solace, I
was wondering to myself, He is a good director and he has done quite abit of
really good character driven movies but can he do an action movie like Bond
series? well the answer is no.Even though there were lots of excellent
action sequences,there were some where the executions were pretty much
shit.One thing is for sure,the editor should receive that balls torture(from
Casino Royale) cause he did such a horrendous job.There were some scenes
like the whole plane fight scene which was utter rubbish.The first half an
hour really did irritated me alittle.The plot was not so bad considering
that it was written by Paul Haggis(Crash) who is also not a right person to
be writing action movies.There are lots of loopholes and unexplained parts.
On a brighter note,Daniel Craig did an excellent job as the brooding James
Bond.He pretty much did his own stunts and his fight sequences are fucking
awesome,you may think it does resemble like the Bourne series and that's
because the assistant director has worked on Bourne Ultimatum and Bourne
Supremacy.Judi Dench as M was cool as usual but somehow I felt she was
somewhat subdued.Olga Kurylenko as Camille looks way much better than Vesper
who really looks like a female preying mantis,but thats about it cause she
cant act for shit.
All in all I still enjoyed watching Quantum of Solace even though it isnt as
good as Casino Royale,guess thats because I have always been a little bit of
a 007 fan.Sean Connery has always been my favourite Bond but Daniel Craig is
a very close 2nd.

The Americans have their Jason Bourne but the British will always have their
James Bond.
Worth giving it a watch.

Best Quote
James Bond: How long have I got?
Felix Leiter: Thirty seconds.
James Bond: That doesn't give us a lot of time...

Dominic Greene: Be careful of this one, Mr Bond. She will not go to bed
with you unless you give her something she really wants... but you make a
fine couple - you are both, what is the expression? Damaged goods.

M: I thought I could trust you. You said you weren't motivated by revenge.

James Bond: I am motivated by my duty.
M: I think you're so blinded by inconsolable rage that you don't care who
you hurt. When you can't tell your friends from your enemies, it's time to
James Bond: You don't have to worry about me.

Recommended movies by the director
Monster's Ball
Stranger than Fiction
The Kite Runner

Wednesday, 5 November 2008

Movie Review of Righteous Kill

The Righteous Kill - 5/10
Directed by Jon Avnet
Cast - Robert De Niro,Al Pacino,Donnie Wahlberg,John Leguiziamo

Plot Summary
Two veteran New York City detectives (De Niro and Pacino) work to identify the possible connection between a recent murder and a case they believe they solved years ago; is there a serial killer on the loose, and did they perhaps put the wrong person behind bars?

The last time these 2 acting legends did a movie together was Heat which was a bloody brilliant movie directed by a very good director called Micheal Mann.Righteous Kill on the other hand is pretty much shit.The saving grace for this movie is Robert De Niro and Al Pacino.Jon Avnet is fast becoming one of my top 5 shit directors.I totally hated 88 minutes which was a straight to video release by the way and sadly Al Pacino acted in that.So when I first heard that Pacino and De Niro were going to act in a movie together,I was fucking excited then i found out the director is none other than this prick,I somehow knew it was gonna be a shit movie. And to make matters worse,you also have that lowlife scumfuck,Curtis Jackson aka 50 cents.motherfucker cant act(that we all know) and the irritating thing about that fuckhead is he keeps mumbling his lines,its bad enough he mumbles his songs.Casting John Leguiziamo and Donnie Wahlberg was a good choice but underutilizing them was just plain stupid.
From the first 5 mins of the movie you will know who the killer is,and its so fucking obvious that you dont have to be a genius to figure it out.If you have watched Heat before,then think of it as a role reversal and you will know.
The editing for this movie is very badly done.The way some scenes were being cut,it was very obvious. Direction is rubbish.Jon Avnet can fuck off and die.
Plot and storyline wasn't very good but the script was alright.If Al Pacino and Robert De Niro wasn't in this movie,no one including me would have given a shit.

Dont bother watching this in the cnema.Wait for the dvd release.

Best Quote

Turk: Most people respect the badge. Everyone respects the gun.

Recommended movies by the director
Fried Green Tomoatoes
The War

Movie Review of Burn After Reading

Burn After Reading - 8/10
Directed by The Coen Brothers
Cast - George Clooney,Brad Pitt,Frances Mcdormand,John Malkovich,Tilda Swinton

A disk containing the memoirs of a CIA agent ends up in the hands of two unscrupulous gym employees who attempt to sell it.

I have always told my friends that i have never been a fan of Coen brothers as I do not enjoy their style of direction at all.but then again,there have been a few gems from the Coen brothers, like The Big Lebowski,Raising Arizona,Oh Brother where art thou? and of course No country for old men.After watching Burn after reading, I have just become a fan of the Coen brothers.This movie is a definite cult classic.It has been awhile since i watched a movie and laughed from the beginning to the end and giving me a few shocking twists at the same time.
The casting for this movie is awesome.everyone was have Brad Pitt as a Gym freak who always looks life in a positive way.George Clooney who is a married womanizer who happens to be building something very secretive in his basement.Frances Mcdormand who is a colleague of Brad Pitts' character,she is saving money to get surgery done on her so she will look more attractive.
John Malkovich and Tilda Swinton who are a married couple who will be going through a divorce and Malkovich's character works in the CIA by the way.
some how or rather every one's lives will be intertwined with each other and that's what really makes the movie worth to watch cause you will be laughing your ass off.Basically,whenever these guys are in the scene,you are bound to laugh at what they do.
Direction for this movie is very good.The one other thing I loved about this movie is the camera works,especially the scene where Brad Pitt is hiding behind a closet and the camera does a pan shot through the closet slits...very nicely done.The editing was also good for this movie.
I'm not sure if this is still out in the cinemas,but I would recommend everyone and anyone who is not a fan of the Coen Brothers to watch Burn After Reading. You will be a fan of their quirkiness after this.I know I am a fan of them now.

Best Quotes
CIA Superior: - So what did we learn from this?
CIA Officer: - Um... I don't know.
CIA Superior: - I don't fuckin' know either.
CIA Officer: - Not to do it again?
CIA Superior: - I don't know what the fuck we *did*, but ok...

Osbourne Cox: You're a Mormon. Compared to you we all have a drinking problem.

Recommended movies by the director
No Country For Old Men
The Big Lebowski
Oh Brother! Where art thou.

Friday, 24 October 2008

Movie Review of Tropic Thunder

Tropic Thunder - 7/10
Directed by Ben Stiller
Cast - Robert Downey Jr,Ben Stiller,Jack Black

Plot Summary
Through a series of freak occurrences, a group of actors shooting a big-budget war movie are forced to become the soldiers they are portraying.
Ever since I first watched the trailer,I was laughing my ass off and I couldn't wait for it to be out.RDJ as an multiple award winning Australian method actor acting as a black man was really funny as hell.when I first heard about it,I thought it was gonna be controversial and lots of people. were gonna be pissed off about it.But after watching the movie,the only thing the whole movie is making fun of is the movie industry got method actors,directors,studio execs..the whole works.Superb casting choice.Jack Black acts as an actor made famous for his silly slapstick comedies tries his hand on a serious role except that he is a junkie.(there are actors like that).Ben Stiller is a fading actor whose only once popular role was of an action hero.The 3 main characters are brilliant in their own ways.just as much as I thought that Robert Downey Jr. would have stole the show,it was the guest stars that stole the show.Nick Nolte as a Vietnam veteran has some really funny lines.I never liked him as an actor but he was funny in this.Steve Coogan as the director was also good.but the guy who stole the fucking movie was none other that Mr Tom Fucking Cruise! you can barely recognize him but he has almost all the classic lines and the amount of vulgarities he would begin to wonder whether he has ever cussed in his other movies and he does this ridiculous dance..absolutely brilliant.
Direction in this movie was good.Stiller did a commendable job.I really liked the special effects and stunts.the camera works during the first ten mins along was amazing...but what I didn't like about this movie was the way it was like sorta rushed into the ending.Should have done a bit better on the plot for the ending.

Definitely worth watching on a weekend.

Best Quote
Kirk Lazarus: I'm just like a little boy, playin' with his dick when he's nervous.

Kirk Lazarus: Everybody knows you never go full retard.
Tugg Speedman: What do you mean?
Kirk Lazarus: Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Count toothpicks to your cards. Autistic, sure. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. Peter Sellers, "Being There." Infantile, yes. Retarded, no. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard. You don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, "I Am Sam." Remember? Went full retard, went home empty handed...

Tugg Speedman: Now, let's go get those Viet Congs. [cocks his gun]
Alpa Chino: "Viet Cong!"
Tugg Speedman: What?
Alpa Chino: It's "viet cong." There's no "s," it's already plural. You wouldn't say "Chineses..."

Studio Executive Rob Slolom: Wow. 8 Oscars, 400 million dollars at the box office, and you saved Tugg Speedman's career.
Les Grossman: I couldn't have done it without you.
Studio Executive Rob Slolom: Really?
Les Grossman: No, dickhead. Of course I could. A nutless monkey could do your job. Now, go get drunk and take credit at all the parties.
Studio Executive Rob Slolom: I wouldn't do that.
Les Grossman: Ah... joking.
Studio Executive Rob Slolom: Ah, there he is! Funny. You're a funny guy.
Les Grossman: Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job.

Recommended movies by the director
Reality Bites
Cable Guy

Thursday, 2 October 2008

Movie Review of Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Vicky Cristina Barcelona - 4.5/10
Directed by Woody Allen
Cast - Javier Bardem,Scarlett Johannson,Penelope Cruz,Rebecca Hall

Plot Summary
Two girlfriends on a summer holiday in Spain become enamored with the same painter, unaware that his ex-wife, with whom he has a tempestuous relationship, is about to re-enter the picture.

Annie Hall was and will always be my favourite Woody Allen movie.Take the money and run irritated the shit out of me when I first watched it.The one thing I really like about Woody Allen's movies is the script,its funny,sarcastic and witty.The last few recent Woody Allen movies haven't been as good as his old ones.And VCB is one of them.Maybe Other Woody Allen fans will like it but I definitely don't.Despite a good cast,there were alot of acting uncertainities.There have been a few times when you can see the actress appearing confused and accidentally looking at the camera especially Patricia Clarkson.Javier Bardem was cool and acted in a very non chalant approach which worked well for this movie(He was awesome in No country for old men by the way).Again this is yet another movie which Scarlett Johannson fails to act.This despite she is Woody Allen's current almost every scene she has that fucking "keanu Reeves" look which did get on my nerve.Rebecca Hall was much better than Scarlett but there is room for improvement for her as you can still see she isn't really a natural actress but the type that is hardworking and will probably do better as she has more experience.The scene stealer for VCB is definitely Penelope Cruz.I never liked any of her movies cause she is fuck all.Only in Blow,was she amazing in it.As I figured,Penelope Cruz should do more bad guy roles or psychotic roles.She really excels in it.Kudos to Penelope Cruz.

Woody Allen's direction was bad.the worst was the camera work,very amateurish.Editing was good in this movie.I didn't really like the plot especially the ending.The cinematography was nice,you get to see alot of scenic views of Barcelona.

Worth watching during the week days,if you are a Woody Allen fan.If not don't bother watching this movie at all,cause you will probably hate it.

Best Quote
Juan Antonio: Maria Elena used to say that only unfulfilled love can be romantic.

Recommended movies by the director
Annie Hall
Take the money and run

Monday, 29 September 2008

Movie Review of Bangkok Dangerous

Bangkok Dangerous - 5.5/10
Directed by Pang Brothers
Cast - Nicholas Cage, Charlie Yeung,Shahkrit Yamnarm,Panward Hemmanee

Plot Summary
A hit man who's in Bangkok to pull off a series of jobs falls for a local woman and bonds with his errand boy.

The Pang brothers did an awesome horror movie called The Eye which was scary.They even made it into a trilogy and the last being a horror comedy which in my opinion was actually funny as hell.Re-cycle was interesting with good graphic.To be honest I have not watched the original Thai version but I'm pretty sure it would be better than the Hollywood version.Nicholas Cage is the hero in this movie.This guy has his ups but more downs and this is one of his many downs.His toupee has more reactions than him.The supporting cast wasn't so bad.but I wished there was a much more convincing villain for this movie.The Thai actresses were not so bad as well.One is mute which I guess is a good thing because you wouldn't be hearing any English in very thick Thai accent cause you definitely need subtitles for that.
The direction for this movie was rather mediocre,according to the Pang brothers standards.They have an eye for camera works and direction in the other movies but this one was rather disappointing.Editing was also so so in this movie.Pretty much this is a shit movie if you are not into these kinda genres.But if you like all those assassin movies,then go ahead give it a try.Just don't get let down,by Nicholas Cage's acting or his ridiculous looking toupee.

Highly unlikely this is available in the cinemas right now but worth renting the DVD and watching.

Best Quote
Kap Koon Kap

Recommended movies by the directors
The Eye

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Movie Review of Mamma Mia!

Mamma Mia! - 6.5/10
Directed by Phyllida Lloyd
Cast - Meryl Streep,Pierce Brosnan,Colin Firth,Stellan Skarsgard,Amanda Seyfried

Plot Summary
The story of a bride-to-be trying to find her real father told using hit songs by the popular '70s group ABBA.

You will only enjoy this movie if you like musicals or you are a fan of the band ABBA or both.I was never really big into musicals.The only other musical movies I enjoyed were Grease and Sweeny Todd but I fucking love ABBA! I grew up listening to them,so when I heard they are making another movie based on ABBA songs,I was game on watching it.something different yet interesting this time was the actors actually sang the songs.By the way,not only is Meryl Streep an excellent actress,after this movie,she is a heck of a singer too.She had a great voice and so did Amanda Seyfried.But Amanda on the other hand is a great singer but she cant act for shit.She has a really stupid look which she kept doing it all the fuck time.Its the "I really wanna take a shit but I wanna hold it in for as long as I can" look.
The director didn't do a very good job at all.The cameraworks were pretty awful as well,The colours were all wrong.Worse was the editing.But seriously...fuck all have to watch it for the songs of course which will defintely keep yr feet tapping and you will also be whispering along as well.The cool thing is whenever a song breaks out,there will be subtitles.And every ABBA hit that comes out,it'll definitely bring back memories which is another cool thing about this movie.
Kudos to all the actors and actresses who fearlessly sang the songs, even Pierce Brosnan who cant sing for shit,tried his level best.But the star of the movie is no one but Meryl Streep.

Worth watching on a weekend.

Best Quote
Rosie: [to Tanya] Typical you wait 20 years for a father and then three show up at once.

Sophie: You took my mother's guitar!
Harry Bright: Borrowed. I got it for her. Cost me ten quid and my Johnny Rotten T-shirt. See? DS: Donna Sheridan. HB: Head Banger.

Recommended movies by the director

Friday, 19 September 2008

Movie Review of Clone Wars

Clone Wars - 5/10
Directed by Dave Filoni
Voice over Cast - Matt Lander,Ashley Eckstein,Ian Abercombie,Samuel L Jackson,Christopher Lee

Plot Summary
As the Clone Wars sweep through the galaxy, the heroic Jedi Knights struggle to maintain order and restore peace.

I am and will always be a Star Wars fan.Nowadays there are 2 types of Star Wars fans. There are those who are only devoted to the original and there are those who like both trilogies.I am a fan of the later.I grew up watching the originals.Of course nothing will beat the original,and you can watch it several times till you memorize several classic lines(till today I still use some of the classic lines).Episodes 1,2,3 were ok...nothing fantastic but i just felt the casting would have been a little more better.but still I enjoyed watching them.Now on to the Clone Wars.This is totally animated this time which is a first in the Star Wars History.For good or for bad,there were many firsts for this movie.The first 'Star Wars' film not to be released by 20th Century Fox. This will also be the first "Star Wars" film that won't have Frank Oz providing the voice of Yoda. This is the first 'Star Wars' film not to contain a version of the phrase "I've got a bad feeling about this". Lastly this was the one that got me really disappointed.The first Star Wars film to not have an introductory text-scroll during the title sequence. Instead the premise of the story is set up by an announcer's voice-over describing background scenes.I was totally going "what the fuck!!" when this happened.even the classic theme was warped.That was just damn sad.
Storyline for Clone Wars was good.I liked the plot to my surprise.What I didn't like was the twist which I was thinking to myself,that I would like to stab the director with a lightsaber for approving this.Ziro the Hutt.Uncle of Jabba the Hutt who is a tranny.I know that this movie was aimed for kids but there was no need for a transexual hutt.(Jabba is one of my favourite characters).
The young padawan who is with Anakin Skywalker is the kind of character that is supposed to attract the kids but it is fucking annoying to the adults.Like for an example, Jar Jar Bings.So is Ashoka Tano.
As for the animation wise,It looks pretty cool during the fight scenes and all,even the flying sequences as well.but it looks weird when there are close ups on the characters itself.
Sadly another first for this movie is,it never opened number one at the box office opening weekend.
Don't even bother waiting for the dvd release,just wait for cable.

Best Quote
[during their duel, Kenobi blocks a killing strike from Ventriss and mocks her] Obi-Wan Kenobi: You'll have to do better than that, my darling.

Recommended movies by the director

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Movie Review of Babylon A.D

Babylon A.D - 4.5/10
Directed by Mathieu Kassovitz
Cast - Vin Diesel, Michelle Yeoh

Plot Summary
Veteran-turned-mercenary Thoorop takes the high-risk job of escorting a woman from Russia to America. Little does he know that she is host to an organism that a cult wants to harvest in order to produce a genetically modified Messiah.

This movie is a best of for all of Vin Diesel's action movies.First you will see Vin Diesel as Riddick in Pitch Black then you will see xXx as well.there will be glimpses of Fast and Furious and at the end,the Pacifier also.there's nothing really fantastic about this movie.Only fans of Vin Diesel will like this show.the movie is pretty much mindless entertainment,you wont be seeing outstanding acting or shit like that.
But even for mindless entertaining movies,you need at least decent cinematography and camera works at least.
which is one thing what I didn't like about this's pretty obvious the director is very inexperienced.The camera works were pretty bad and at times unnecessary.If the cameraman had kept the camera works simple,the movie would be better.for example, the fight scenes,all you can see is a flurry of lights which gets a bit irritating after awhile.
The special effects were pretty ok.the editing was not really that good.
But all in all if you like movies like pitch black,chronicles of Riddick,transporter,transporter 2(I think you know where I am going with this),then I would definitely recommend you watching this in a cinema.

Best Quote
Toorop: [narration] Save the planet. What for? Life's simple. Kill or be killed. A survivors' code. My code. And it all sounds great until the day you find yourself confronted by a choice. A choice to make a difference or to walk away and save yourself. I learned something that day. Too bad it was the day I died.

Recommended movies by the director
Gothika (which I think is a fuckall show but that's the only one I know)

Movie Review of Death Race

Death Race - 4.5/10
Directed by Paul W.S Anderson
Cast - Jason Statham,Tyrese Gibson,Ian Mcshane,Joan Allen,Natalie Martinez

Plot Summary
Ex-con Jensen Ames (Statham) is forced by the warden of a notorious prison (Allen) to compete in our post-industrial world's most popular sport: a car race in which inmates must brutalize and kill one another on the road to victory.

If you like playing games like Twisted Metal and Destruction Derby,then you will definitely love watching this movie.A remake from the 1975 Paul Bartel movie acted by David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone.this is a fresh take done by Paul W.S Anderson.Unfortunately this is the fella who fucked up the first Alien vs Predator,pussifying 2 classic icons of sci fi horror.
Out of sheer boredom(and there was nothing else to watch),I watched this movie on a weekend at the cinema.I knew what I was getting myself into but I had nothing else to watch and i do enjoy the occasional Jason Statham movie(except Crank which I think the director,scriptwriter,producer and everyone involved in that movie should have all their testicles removed with a wooden spoon and fed to them with loads of Tabasco sauce and feces from a baby that has drunk spoilt milk).
The camera works and cinematography is pretty get to see quite few interesting kill scenes.and the car scenes were cool.I guess car movie fans will enjoy watching this movie.Casting is pretty ok as have Statham as the protagonist.I even notice he has developed a certain style of speaking for all his action movies,its a cross between mumbling and grumbling with an English accent of got your bad guy turn good guy in Tyrese Gibson who cant act for shit but has a great body.then you have seasoned heavyweights like Ian Mcshane and Joan Allen who are just in this movie for the money and don't really have to bother acting too well.Natalie Martinez is a hot Latino chick but she ain't nothing compared to the goddess like my Salma Hayek.including her character is kinda funny.they use women prisoners to help navigate the male drivers.but we all know its just eye candy for this male testosterone filled movie.
Probably just worth watching on a weekday in the cinema or just wait to rent the dvd.

Best Quote
Jensen: So what about the other drivers?
Machine-Gun Joe: It's kill or be killed.
Jensen: I can see the appeal.

Recommended movies done by the director
Resident Evil
Mortal Kombat
Event Horizon

Friday, 15 August 2008

Movie Review of Red Cliff

Red Cliff - 4/10
Directed by John Woo
Cast - Tony Leung, Takeshi Kaneshiro,vicky zhao

Plot Summary
Based on the events during the Three Kingdoms period in Ancient China in which specifically told in the title, The Battle of Red Cliffs.

I'm actually beginning to get sick and tired of John Woo.He really has been dong shit movies(paycheck) recently.This movie will probably be enjoyed to those who are into the romance of the three kingdom history.for those who don't know shit will probably be wondering what the fuck is going on.
Lets start with the good parts.
The production for this movie is simply unbelievable.Using thousands of extras is an old school way of film making and kudos to John Woo for his vision on this.The costumes also really stand out.The battle scenes aren't really spectacular but rather interesting to say the least.And according to my friends,Red Cliff is pretty close to the book.
And now for the shit parts.
The casting is horse shit.As mush as I love Tony Leung's style of acting,he was absolutely rubbish in this.His acting was like as though the fella was bored and he was forced to do this shit.He totally doesn't not suit the character(Zhou Yu) he portrays.In fact I think he should be acting as Takeshi Kaneshiro's role,Zhuge Liang instead.And speaking of Takeshi Kaneshiro,this fella is just eye candy.He cant act for shit but he is hard working..just like Andy Lau.he was horrendous in warlords and he is horrendous in Red Cliff also.He has a stupid smile in this movie which irritates the hell out of me.
Vicky Zhao as Sun Shangxian can suck my shit and die.her retarded look is not fooling anyone.Every time she appears in a scene,I feel like impaling her with chopsticks.
The script is probably written by a retard(could be the cunt vicky zhao).Really awful dialogues which sometimes made me groan even though I am reading the subtitles.It surely must be more horrifying for those who understand Chinese.And what the fuck is with all the goddamn doves.I know it's John Woo's trademark but does he have to use the fucking doves all the fucking time???
Editing was rather so so.there were some scenes especially the battle scenes where it has been cut abruptly.
Cinematography and camera works were not bad.but there are some parts where the camera works were done in a rather exaggerated way and totally unnecessary also.
Red Cliff is just Part one.The second part will be shown in October if I'm not mistaken.Lets hope the second part will be way much better.if its not..then John Woo can go fuck his slow motion.

Best Quote
He started this war because of a woman?

Recommended movies by the directorhard boiled
A better tomorrow
Face off
Broken Arrow

Thursday, 14 August 2008

Movie review of Felon

Felon - 7/10
Directed by Ric Roman Waugh
Cast - Stephen Dorff,Val Kilmer,Harold Perrineau

Plot Summary
A family man convicted of killing an intruder must cope with life afterward in the violent penal system.

A definite must watch for all prison movie fans.This is one of the best prison movies I have watched so far. Felon has a good plot, good script and great
acting. No nonsense,no bullshit. It's been awhile since I saw Stephen Dorff acting in a decent well made movie.Val Kilmer was simply outstanding in this movie and so was Harold Perineau.The tenacity between Harold and Val's characters was good. What I really liked about Felon is the story and the cinematography. The cameraworks was pretty good and so was the editing. Of course kudos to Ric Roman for his direction. Simple yet effective to capture the viewer's attention. What you got to watch out for are the real life criminals who are acting in this movie. By the looks of some ,you just don't want them as your bunkmate cause for sure they are gonna fuck you up. Worth getting the dvd.

Recommended movies by the director
None that I know

Tuesday, 5 August 2008

Movie review of The Mummy 3: Tomb of the dragon emperor

The Mummy 3: Tomb of the dragon emperor - 2.5/10
Directed by Rob CohenCast - Brendan Fraser,Maria Bello,Michelle Yeoh,Jet Li

Plot Summary
In the Far East, trouble-seeking father-and-son duo Rick and Alex O'Connell unearth the mummy of the first Emperor of Qin -- a shape-shifting entity who was cursed by a wizard centuries ago.

This is by far definitely the worst movie of the mummy series.Everything went wrong,from plot to script to special effects to acting.why on earth did they do this movie?The first 2 mummy movies was based in egypt which was good.why they had to change location let alone an entire different folklore...I have no idea.what's next?? doing a movie in india?? aka the mummy 4:rise of the maharajah?
As an action movie director,Rob Cohen is next to shit.The fella's direction is horrible,all the action sequences are boring and ridiculous.The CGI for this movie was rubbish as well.I hated it when Jet Li's character rejuvenates himself with fire whenever his face starts to fall off.That was god awful.To make matters worse,terrible editing did not help this movie one bit.
I wouldnt be surprised if the story was written by a retard cause one moment you have chinese mummies,then suddenly you have chinese communist armies and at one point of time you have abdominable snowmen...yes you would probably be saying that in a question mark..just as exactly as Brandon fraser would phrase it into this movie.What the fuck happened there?And there are so many obvious mistakes in this movie.Like for an example,Jet Li's character was turned into mummy he was in the palace,and when he awakes the motherfucker is sitting on a chariot with stone horses.and thats not all.2000 years ago,he had a moustache and when he awoke,he was clean shaven...WHO THE FUCK SHAVED OFF HIS MOUSTACHE????
As for acting wise,nothing good as well.It was a good thing that Rachel Weiss did not want to be part of this movie cause she knew it was gonna be shit.To replace a british actress,you get an american actress with a fake shitty british accent is what I would call a really stupid move.I love Maria Bello,she is an outstanding actress(The Cooler) but the way she acted in this movie was bad.Brandon Fraser..well he acted as a caveman(The Encino Man) for god's sake.The son,Luke Ford can fuck off and die and so can his lovebird,Isabella Leong.Michelle Yeoh's character is a 2000 year old immortal witch living in a cave in china and wears exuberant clothes and speaks english...Nuff said.Like I said before in my previous reviews,Jet Li is great when he is the baddie and shouldnt be speaking english which is what he did for the mummy 3.but unfortunately for the bad script and plot,it didnt help one single bit.check this out,Jet Li's character is a dragon emperor who has control of five elements and can also turn into a 3 headed dragon and a really big doglike thingy.Need I say more?

Do not bother wasting your money on this horse shit they call The Mummy 3.

Best Quote
none.its a shit script

Recommended movies by the director
the fast and the furious
rat race

Monday, 4 August 2008

Movie review of The Love Guru

The Love Guru - 3/10
Directed by Marco Schnabel
Cast - Mike Myers,Jessica Alba,Justin Timberlake,Verne Troyer,Romany Malco

Plot Summary
Pitka an American raised outside of his country by gurus, returns to the States in order to break into the self-help business. His first challenge: To settle the romantic troubles and subsequent professional skid of a star hockey player whose wife left him for a rival athlete.

What a horrible movie.What the fuck was Mike Myers thinking? The whole movie is as if it is an Austin Powers gone Indian feel to it.If you think the plot was bad,the script is the worst of all. Sadly it is a fucked up movie with a shitty plot,a shitty script and shitty acting. Only Mike Myers and Verne Troyer weren't that bad but then again they werent spectacularly funny either.Justin Timberlake should not quit his day job,fucker cant act for shit let alone try to be funny.Jessica Alba should be in porn cause for that great body of hers,she has zero acting skills. As usual,Sir Ben Kingsley can add this fucked up movie in his collection cause he likes to do about 2000 shitty fuckall movies and 1 great one.
Don't even bother watching this movie,it just insults your sense of humour.

Best Quotes
Guru Pitka: If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jack off an elephant?

Recommended movies by the director

P.s :Apparently this movie when it was about to be released in the US, the Hindu community went apeshit. They stated that the movie discriminates the Indian race, the gurus, the Indian accent and all that shit. They even spread a message across the world to boycott this movie and even got the Catholic community in it as well.All the more I wanted to watch this movie, cause unlike those under the rock dwelling,uptight,over zealous,fascist,religious fanatical cunts, I KNOW, IT'S JUST A FUCKING MOVIE!! AND NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!

Movie review of Meet Dave

Meet Dave - 3/10
Directed by Brian Robbins
Cast - Eddie murphy,Elizabeth Banks,Scott Caan,Ed Helms,Gabrielle Union

Plot Summary
A crew of miniature aliens operate a spaceship that has a human form. While trying to save their planet, the aliens encounter a new problem, as their ship becomes smitten with an Earth woman.

I am actually really sick and tired of seeing Eddie Murphy doing fuckall movies one after another. It'
s very obvious he can't act for shit (fuck dreamgirls) and he definitely doesn't know how to select scripts. Eddie, please do us all a favour and stop making kiddie, Disney oriented movies and Go back to stand up. The special effects on this movie was shitty and could have done much better. The cinematography was sub standard, the editing was mediocre and you have really fucked up direction. Then again this is coming from a director who did another fuckshit movie with Eddie Murphy called Norbit. There are only a few funny moments and once u start to laugh at that,the next scene will be filled with something stupid that will makes you irritated once again.The 80's Eddie Murphy movies despite its silliness was at least funny.Now it is still silly but it ain't funny anymore.
DO not watch this movie at all in the cinemas,save your money or just wait for it to appear on tv.

Best Quote
Captain: Number 3, do we have significant linguistic information to communicate with these natives?
No. 3 - Cultural Officer: Yes, I tapped into their central planetary database named "Google."
Captain: What a frivolous name for such a vital function.
No. 3 - Cultural Officer: Well, if you prefer, there's another called "Ya Hoo."
Captain: Baffling!

Recommended movies by the director
Hardball(Keanu Reeves)
Ready to Rumble(Oliver Platt)

Movie review of Wall-E

Wall-E - 7/10
Directed by Andrew Stanton
Cast - Voices Sigourney Weaver,John Ratzenberger

Plot Summary
In the distant future, a small waste collecting robot that slowly begins to become sentient inadvertently embarks on a space journey that will ultimately decide the fate of mankind.

A really cute show. Somehow how, Wall-E reminds me of E.T. The special effects for this movie is pretty good. I really like the voices used for the main robots. A pretty good story with a moral lesson. Very little script is used which can be a good thing sometimes. Editing was commendable as well.For sure, kids and adults will defintely like watching this movie. I can also foresee kids going apeshit on Wall-E toys and all that. However for a weekend price ticket,I just dont think it is worth it cause it is short and not exactly spectacular for an animated cartoon movie. so like I was saying earlier,worth watching on a weekday.

Best Quotes
Ship's Computer: Voice confirmation required.
Captain: Uhhh...
Ship's Computer: Voice confirmation accepted.

Recommended movies by the director
Finding Nemo
Bug's life

Movie review of Sukiyaki Western Django

Sukiyaki Western Django - 7/10
Directed by Miike Takashi
Cast - Quentin Tarantino, Hideaki Ito,

Plot Summary
Set during "The Genpei Wars" at the end of the 1100s, the Minamoto and Taira gangs face off in a town named Yuda, while a deadly gunman (Ito Hideaki) comes to the aid of the townsfolk. It's a spaghetti western...think samurai swords with cowboy six shooters and a Gaettling gun..

Just like Quention Tarantino,I am a big fan of Miike Takashi's works.My first ever movie from him was the unforgetable Iitchi the Killer,which was super violent and funny. Veresince that cult classic,I have been trying to follow whatever movies he has done.Sukiyaki Western Django is a cult classic spaghetti western where Japanese actors are western cowboys speaking in a heavy thick Japanese accented English. With a weird ass title like that,you would expect everything to go wrong,but not if Miike is involved in it.
The cameraworks and cinematography is fucking excellent. I love the colouring as well. The whole blood in snow effect is really good even the editing was well done. The script is funny even though you definitely need to see the subtitles cause at times you can't understand what the fuck are they saying in that thick jap accent.
The direction of course is superb. There are lots of really cool scenes in this movie especially the kill scenes.
definitely worth watching on a weekend and getting the dvd. I know I will.

Best Quote
Ringo: The sound of the Gion Shoja temple bells echoes the impermanence of all things; the color of the sala flowers reveals the truth that to florish is to fall. The proud do not endure, like a passing dream on a night in spring; the mighty fall at last, to be no more than dust before the wind.

Recommended movies by the director
Iitchi the killer

Dead or Alive

Friday, 18 July 2008

Movie review of The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight: 9/10
Directed by Christopher Nolan
Cast- Christian Bale, Michael Cane, Heath Leger, Gary Oldman, Aaron Eckhart,
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Morgan Freeman and Chin Han

Plot Summary
Batman and James Gordon join forces with Gotham's new District Attorney, Harvey Dent, to take on a psychotic bank robber known as The Joker, whilst other forces plot against them, and Joker's crimes grow more and more deadly.

What a fantastic movie!Despite a few flaws,it was brilliantly done and so much excitement! It's been a long time since i was so psyched up to watch a movie(my last was 300).For the whole week,I was listening to the soundtrack and also watching the trailers and the prologue numerous times.I watched this wonderful sequel with my friends and we thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it.
And here...I go.
For cinematography,Almost all the scenes were done really very well especially the IMAX scenes.The IMAX shots were the action sequences and the scenic shots,which were all done very well.there were a few errors in certain scenes but not really noticeable.Camerawork was great.The crane shots and the zoom ins were just awesome. You got to give it to the DP for this.
TDK was written by David Goyer and the Nolan brothers and they did a great job.Chris Nolan said during an interview ,that he cited that the movie Heat(Al Pacino and De Niro,directed by Michael Mann) as a major influence for The Dark Knight.and you can clearly see that the flow of the story is just the same as Heat(which is also a great movie by the way).
Thank god the costume department threw away the nipple suit worn previously by Clooney and Kilmer,cause it really looked fucking ridiculous.The new bat suit this time is way much more sleeker and apparently more comfortable(for Christian Bale) than the one in Batman Begins,even the costumes for Harvey Dent and The Joker were really cool.The only thing I didn't quite like was Batman's mask.Somehow it looked like he had a long nose and that reminded me of the Penguin.
I really loved the make up done for the Joker,which has a dark,sinister look and the scars on his cheeks really made him look evil which was fucking awesome)the scarifications on the cheeks also reminded me of Iitchi the Killer.
The special effects on this movie were pretty good as well especially batman's scenes when he is flying around and all the landing parts.

The soundtrack done by Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard is fucking awesome! There are a couple of scenes which the soundtrack made it even more thrilling.It's really worth buying the soundtrack.
The casting for this movie is good if not better than Batman Begins.Michael Caine is the perfect actor to portray Alfred the butler and he does it well.Morgan Freeman was alittle under utilized but still all in all,he never fails to deliver no matter how small the role is.Gary Oldman on the other hand has a bigger role this time and pulls it off brilliantly.Maggie Gyllenhaal was good as always,and it' a good thing Maggie replaced the retarded looking Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes, cause Katie Holmes was horrible in Batman Begins.I liked Aaron Eckhart's acting in Thank you for smoking,and I was pretty sure he could pull off Harvey Dent's Character easily and furthermore under Chris Nolan's guidance.Another good thing I like about Chris Nolan is he can always bring the best out of any actor regardless if he is good or bad.For example,he did a great job in making Hugh Jackman act in The Prestige,cause that fucknut can't act for shit.One actor I'm really proud of is our very own homeboy,Chin Han.He did a really cool job and I sincerely hope he gets his big break from this.Unlike that honkong cunt(Edison Chen) who had about 5 secs of screentime,our home boy got at least 15mins of screentime.Way to go...Chin Han! Christian Bale on the other hand is the Perfect Bruce Wayne.A really brilliant actor,from young(Empire of the Sun) till now.I will always watch Bale's movies no matter who the director will be.The scene stealer is definitely the Late Heath Ledger.His portrayal of The Joker is the best ever! As much as I love Jack Nicholson,I will dare to say...Fuck Jack Nicholson's Joker cause Heath Ledger's joker will forever be remembered as the One! hahaha.Every time the joker is on scene,you will forget everyone else and that was how good this fella was.Sinister,Dark,Evil,Manipulative and Funny is what the very least you can sum up on Heath Ledger's Joker.He is of right now in my top 5 list of most evil and greatest screen villains.It is a real treat watching actors of this calibre in one movie.
A pretty good job on the editing department as well except for a few cut scenes and the flow of the first half was rather rushed.
Chris Nolan does a great job in direction.i really liked his way of story telling and he has been rather consistent.Besides bringing out the best in an actor,another thing I like about him is he likes to get involved in everything,from production,to direction and to editing which is a trait you seldom see in a director.What I didn't like about TDK was the first half an hour was rather rushed.I felt like too much info was crammed in that little amount of time.And the last 15mins could have been shortened.Still I will look forward to watch his next movie which I'm pretty sure that it will be as good as his other works.

Definitely worth watching on a weekend,worth watching it TWICE!! and worth watching it on gold class as well!
Batman and Nolan fans will thoroughly enjoy the Dark Knight.

Best Quote
The Joker: [to Batman] You've changed things... forever. There's no going back. See, to them, you're just a freak... like me!

Harvey Dent: You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

The Joker: Introduce a little anarchy... Upset the established order... Well then everyone loses their minds!

Recommended movies done by the director
Batman Begins
The Prestige

Thursday, 17 July 2008

Movie review of Penelope

Penelope- 1.5/10
Directed by Mark Palansky
Cast - Christina Ricci,James Mcavoy

Plot Summary
A modern romantic tale about a young aristocratic heiress born under a curse that can only be broken when she finds true love with "one" who will love her faithfully.

A fucking stupid movie. It's not romantic, it's Shit! I have watched a fair share of romantic movies and Penelope is definitely one of the worst romantic movies ever. The director is a total fuckall. It's so fucking obvious,he hasn't got a clue to what he is doing. And what a stupid plot! If you are gonna do a fairytale movie, make sure you get the story right. What were Christina Ricci and James Mcavoy thinking when they were accepting a crap movie like this. Sadly this is a directorial debut for Mark Palansky and a first for Reese Witherspoon who produces it. Both of them should not quit their day jobs.
Apparently this movie was done about 2 years ago. All the more they shouldn't have released this pigshit out in the
cinema. It should have gone straight to dvd instead. Editing in this movie was pretty much horrible and so was the cinematography. The worst however is the acting. Ricci is more suited for serious indie roles,she can't do this fairytale bullshit kinda roles. Even though her first role (if i remember correctly) was in Adam's Family.The most irritating character in the movie was Jessica, Penelope's mother.James Mcavoy was great in last king of scotland and Atonement. He was also ok in the wanted.but this...sigh...

Do not watch this movie at all even if it is free! And if someone gives you a copy of Penelope,slap the fucker!

Best Quote
Journalist #1: Do you have any other pig parts?
Penelope: No!
Journalist #2: With such a large nose, do you smell better than the rest of us?
Penelope: [laughs] You tell me.

Recommended movies by the director

Movie review of The Savages

The Savages - 6.5/10
Directed by Tamara Jenkins
Cast - Philip Seymour Hoffman,Laura Linney

Plot Summary
A sister and brother face the realities of familial responsibility as they begin to care for their ailing father.

I have always been a big fan of Philip Seymour Hoffman and I think he is one of the few brilliant actors of our times. The fella can be funny and most important he can act! I have always never given much thought to Laura Linney as I've always thought of her as a rather just above average actoress. But the good thing about her is, she chooses her roles pretty well. Her role as a sister to Philip Seymour Hoffman character was very nicely done. So kudos to you Laura Linney. Like I said earlier, the casting in this movie is good. The chemistry between Laura's character and Philip's character was outstanding.
The direction in this movie was simple and effective. The plot also done
well. Infact the whole movie is rather simply done. It's just that you get the good acting as a bonus. All in all this is a good movie to watch with your loved ones on a lazy sunday afternoon. Definitely one of the better Indie movies which are out this year.

Best Quote
Wendy Savage: Dad has been writing on the walls with his shit!
Jon Savage: [half asleep] Wen, what the fuck are you talking about?

Recommended movies by the director
none that i know of

Movie review of Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army - 5/10
Directed by Guillermo Del ToroCast - Ron Perlman,Doug Jones,Selma Blair

Plot Summary
The mythical world starts a rebellion against humanity in order to rule the Earth, so Hellboy and his team must save the world from the rebellious creatures.

This is so much better than the first one. Directed by Guillermo Del Toro who is known for his visualistic style of story telling, and true to his style, Hellboy 2 was visually breath taking, from the special effects to the costumes.It was brillant. I have never been a fan of Del Toro's work even though I have watched most of his movies. It's just that his way of storytelling is tad too slow for me. Especially for comic book adapted movies like Hellboy. It's just too slow. Script wise, nothing fantastic either. I did find the editing quite badly done though as certain scenes have been edited without continuity.
The fight sequences were good and choreographed rather well especially scenes involving Luke Gross as Prince Nuada. (fella looks like some black metal vocalist) Acting wise,Ron Perlman reprises his role as Hellboy once again and does a good job. Selma Blair this time does a better job acting then the first Hellboy she was in. She was horribly irritating in the first one. Doug Jones as Abe Sapien/The chamberlain/The Angel of Death is as cool as ever. Seth Mcfarlane voices Johann Krauss which was interesting cause Johann Krauss sounded like Jeremy Irons. All in all,Hellboy 2 was entertaining but it aint no Dark Knight. (hehee thats for another day)

Worth watching on a weekend,only if you are a big fan of Guillermo Del Toro or Hellboy comics. Otherwise just save the money and wait for THE DARK KNIGHT!!!

Best Quote
Prince Nuada: Let this remind you why you once feared the dark.

Hellboy: Oh..Crap...

Recommended movies by the director
Pan's Labyrinth
The Orphanage

Monday, 7 July 2008

Movie review of 21

Hancock - 6.2/10
Directed by Robert Luketic

Cast - Jim Sturgess. Kevin Spacey, Kate Bosworth, Laurence Fishborune and Aaron Yoo

Plot Summary
The story is bcased about six MIT students who were trained by Professor Micky Rosa aka Kevin Spacey,to become experts in card counting and subsequently took Vegas casinos for millions in winnings.

The overall of the movie had a good feel to it. Even though there were some parts which I felt they some what dragged through. I felt that the actors did a ok job. For Kevin Spacey and Laurence Fishbourne, I felt that the role for them was minor and more could be shown from them. The editing was ok.
This movie is best suited on a weekday. Paying $10 bucks for a non blockbuster, watch once movie ain't worth it

Best Quotes
Micky Rosa: [while Choi is stealing everything that isn't nailed down in the hotel room] *Hey!* You steal The Bible, you go to Hell. Those are the rules.
Choi: Like I'm not going anyway.

Ben Campbell: [in regards to Mickey Rosa inviting him to the Blackjack team] So why are you telling me?
Micky Rosa: Well, let's just say a spot opened up on our roster.
Ben Campbell: How?
Micky Rosa: Jimmy got a job at Google.
Ben Campbell: Jim... Jimmy got a job at Google?
Micky Rosa: Yeah, it's catchy, I know.
Ben Campbell: Well, if you're making so much money at this then why did he take it?
Micky Rosa: Ben, I said Google, not Sizzler.

Ben Campbell: Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Recommend movies by the director
Legally Blonde
Monster in Law
Win a date with Ted Hamilton

Friday, 4 July 2008

Movie review of Hancock

Hancock - 5.5/10
Directed by Peter Berg
Cast - Will Smith, Jason Bateman, Charlize Theron

Plot Summary
John Hancock (Will Smith) is an unhappy and reluctant superhero who is living in his own world. For some unknown reason, Hancock is depressed and has started drinking very heavily. Always when in the process of saving people from trouble, he tends to damage state property that comes up to millions. Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman) offered to help change the public view of John after saving Ray from being run over by a train.

The 1st part of the show was pretty good, started off well. The 2nd part was when everything went down hill. It somehow or rather it lost it's story.The show was hyped with loads of ideas but failed to deliver.
The execution was poor The acting was above average , the CGI was realistic and editing was alright.

Best Quote
Ray: People don't like you, Hancock
Hancock:Do I look like I care what people think?

Boy at bus stop: [taps a sleeping Hancock] Hancock!
Boy at bus stop: [hits him to wake up]
Boy at bus stop: Hancock!
Hancock: What, boy?
Boy at bus stop: [points to TV screens] Bad guys.
Hancock: What, you want a cookie? Get the hell out my face.
Boy at bus stop: Jackass.
Hancock: What?
Boy at bus stop: You heard me.

Rail road crossing crowd: Your breath smells like alcohol!
Hancock:That's cause I've been drinking bitch!

Recommended movies by the director
The Kingdom
Very Bad Things
The Rundown
Friday Night Lights

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

Movie review of Get Smart

Get Smart - 7/10
Directed by Peter Segal
Cast - Steve Carell,Dwayne Johnson(the Rock),Anne Hathaway,Alan Arkin

Plot Summary
Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 for CONTROL, battles the forces of KAOS with the more-competent Agent 99 at his side.

This is by far one of the best movie adaptaion of a classic tv series. Trully enjoyable. If you are around my generation and you have watched Get Smart the tv series before, you will love this movie even better.
Steve Carrell does a great job as Maxwell Smart and he does it so effortlessly. You also got the regular actors from any Adam Sandler movies which was really nice. Even Bill Murray appeared in a short cameo and he was fucking funny. Anne Hathaway was alright as Agent 99 and they both do have some chemistry working together. Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock was good too. The funniest lines always comes from Maxwell Smart and Alan Arkin as the Chief of CONTROL. The jokes in the movie are actually pretty funny even without any vulgarities. The Director does a pretty good job and from his track record, he should continue doing comedy.

Definitely worth watching on a weekend!

Best Quote
Maxwell Smart: There are 300 hundred Control Agents outside this building.
Siegfried: No there's not.
Maxwell Smart: Would you believe 20 SWAT members?
Siegfried: No.
Maxwell Smart: How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun.

Maxwell Smart: Chief, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
The Chief: I don't know, were you thinking "holy shit, holy shit, a swordfish almost went through my head!"?
Maxwell Smart: Missed it by that much

Recommended movies by the director
Tommy Boy(Chris Farley)
The Longest Yard (Adam Sandler)
50 first dates (Adam Sandler amd Drew Barrymore)
Anger Management (Adam Sandler amd Jack Nicholson)