Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Movie Review of Immortals

Immortals - 5.5/10
Directed by Tarsem Singh
Cast - Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, Stephen Dorff, Freida Pinto

Plot Summary
Theseus is a mortal man chosen by Zeus to lead the fight against the ruthless King Hyperion, who is on a rampage across Greece to obtain a weapon that can destroy humanity.

I was looking forward to this as I am a big fan of Greek mythology.And after watching the trailers, I thought it did look pretty impressive.But after the movie ended,I was a little disappointed and thought that it could have been better...much better.
What I was most impressed with Immortals were the costumes and the backdrop.They were beautifully designed,it really was breath taking to watch.If they only paid a little more attention to that plot as well.As for the acting,the cast is relatively new except for the old horse Mickey Rourke.Sadly acting does look a little weak.The main guy, Theseus portrayed by Henry Cavill doesn't seem confident in his role.I don't really recall any movies he was in but I figure he got the role cause he has a pretty awesome body. I didn't recognize Stephen Dorff in this movie right until the credits.He was decent but I wished he had more screen time though.Even Mickey Rourke looks bored.Half the fuck time he is mumbling his lines.Despite that,he still does a villain role well.I just do not like his helmet.The pundei who designed that must have a infatuation with rabbits cause Rourke looks like an Easter bunny or a tripped out version of Donnie Darko's rabbit.Frieda Pinto was doing ok right until she started bawling.She cant cry for shit,I tell you.But there is a scene where she strips and if you are watching this in a cinema,her ass is so close,it will cover half the screen.And the woman has a pretty nice ass.
What got me disappointed, was the pacing of the movie,it was inconsistent.Camera works was bad as well.There are some continuity mistakes and some scenes,you will wonder why and what the fuck just happened? Could be,they had to edit certain scenes for timing? I do not know.But it wasn't good.Also there wasn't a really proper explanation to the characters.I didn't even know who the fuck was Heracles.It took me awhile to spot Aries and Poseidon.Poseidon's helmet looks like a fruit fly for some weird reason.The end fight scene between the gods and titans was pretty cool.You will enjoy it if you enjoy the fight sequences in 300.
I guess Tarsem did a decent job for the Immortals.It was beautiful to watch no doubt but sadly it is forgettable as well.

All in all,I would recommend watching Immortals on a weekday unless you are a big fan of Tarsem Singh's movies.

Best Quotes
Hyperion: Witness Hell.

Recommended movies done by the director
The Cell

Monday, 21 November 2011

Movie Review of Tower Heist

Tower Heist - 1/10
Directed by a cunt called Brett Ratner
Cast - Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Alan Alda, Tea Leoni

Plot Summary
When a group of hard working guys find out they've fallen victim to a wealthy business man's Ponzi scheme, they conspire to rob his high-rise residence.

Time and time, I have repeatedly said, Brett Ratner is a fuckall director.And once again I am right.Tower Heist is a fucking disaster.If it was marketed to be a comedy.then it has failed cause I couldn't even muster a smile through out the movie.If it was marketed to be a heist movie,it has failed as well cause the heist was ridiculously stupid.It is more ridiculous than watching a Tamil movie with Rajnikanth in it.
Why in blue hell did Alan Alda agree to this movie? Eddie Murphy doing this shit movie is pretty much understood cause his movies have been shit for the last ten years.And sadly Ben Stiller is slowly becoming the next Adam Sandler cause his movies have been shit as well.What the fuck were they thinking? These guys used to be good comedians. Why cant they tell from the script that it wasn't funny??
Direction for this movie is rubbish. The flow of the movie is shit.There were so many absurd plot holes.A 45 million gold car being shoved into an elevator shaft or to the top of the roof???? Really??? Editing was horrible.Acting was bad.And someone should beat the script writers to death with a stick.Worst fucking script ever.

Do not even bother paying money or even downloading this worthless crap. Don't even bother.And Fuck you Brett.

Best quotes
None.Script is shit.

Recommended movies done by the director
just watch Rush Hour.The rest is shit.