Saturday, 6 October 2018

Movie review of Venom

Venom - 1.5/10

I was really looking forward to this. The trailer also got me excited. It was good to know that Tom Hardy was portraying Eddie Brock/Venom. Barely five mins into the movie, I knew this was going to be a lanjiao piece of shit movie and the worst part is, it was a LONG lanjiao piece of shit movie.

What the fuck happened lah SONY? What the fuck did you do? You were doing pretty ok with Spiderman even though you changed Spidey about 5000 times and kept Benjamin Buttoning Aunt May. What the fuck happened with Venom? First it was supposed to be for mature audience just like Deadpool then you had to edit the shit out of the movie to make it to PG13 just so Venom can join Spiderman ah? Even so, why cut until like that?

The editing was so bad that it disrupted the flow of the story. One moment, The story was being rushed to get to the part where Brock becomes Venom, then when he is just about to, the pace is slowed down. That scene when Anne is driving Eddie to the hospital. How many times do I need to see fucking Anne from the rear view mirror?
Script was fucking cringe worthy. There are some lines that I can't believe Venom would say shit like that.
The fight sequences are really hard to watch cos the CGI was very messy. Especially the fight with Riot and Venom. Half the time I don't know what the fuck was going on.

Acting was shit as well. Michelle Williams. She had horrible make up and her acting was as bad as Venom Dog. (yup, there was a Venom Dog). Riz Ahmed as Riot.... if there ever was a symbiote with the name, Quiet, it would suit Riz Ahmed better. Tom Hardy. Sigh... you are better than this. I can forgive you for that shit movie you did with Reese Witherspoon cos I thought that was your worse movie. Not anymore. Please don't do the sequel and fuck up your cred. Just give it back to Topher Grace for fuck sake.

Look, it's pretty simple. I totally understand that you want to change some stuff up like his origin story or even removing the iconic logo, that's fine. but if you are going to come up with a screenplay that is going to be like a fucking C grade Tamil movie minus the songs and dance, then Fuck You. I totally blame the writers for this colossal fuck up of a movie. Jeff Pinkner, Scott Rosenberg and Kelly Marcel. I did a quick look up on what were their previous works. Out of the 3 cheebyes, 2 have written really shit movies. Jeff did Dark Towers and Kelly did 50 shades of grey. 50 FUCKING SHADES OF GREY??? Didn't that fucking movie get worst movie of the year or some shit? Fuck lah. There are so many shit scenes that baffled me. Venom Dog was one, Venom girl was another and Riot travelling all the way from Malaysia to America.(Yup, Riot can be Malaysian Symbiote now). Let that sink in for a bit.
I suggest Riot should go to Harry Kok Siew Yok instead, cos he is the Malaysian and he is nearby. Knn. Fuck this movie.

Don't bother watching 50 shades of Venom in the cinema. Just download and watch. Save your money. Even if you do watch the movie, you are going to be really annoyed with the song at the end of the movie as well.