Movie review of Bad Teacher

Bad Teacher - 3/10

Directed by Jake Kasdan

Cast - Justin Timberlake, Cameron Diaz,Jason Segel

Plot Summary

A comedy centered around a foul-mouthed, junior high teacher who, after being dumped by her sugar daddy, begins to woo a colleague -- a move that pits her against a well-loved teacher.

Review

I always thought Cameron Diaz has lost it but thinking back I just realized that she never had anything to begin with.there is not one movie I can think of she has acted well.Most of her movies are shit and all her movies are banking on her looks.Sadly nowadays, a melted plastic bag looks better than her Botox ridden face. Every time she comes on screen, I start to cringe. The only saving grace in this movie was surprisingly Justin Tmberlake. As much as I hated the fucker,he is slowly establishing himself as a pretty decent actor.The doggy dry humping scene with jeans was the only hilarious scene in this movie.Jason Segel was pretty ok in this movie.I would say he was consistent actually but he does get a little boring. Direction for this movie was ok. The flow was pretty boring as fuck.Editing was done ok only. I didn't like the script, it was cliche and dull. They should have put more focus on that instead of Cameron Diaz.

All in all, Bad teacher is a forgettable movie and if you have missed this in the cinema, it doesn't really matter cause nobody gives two shits about Cameron Diaz anyway.

Best quote

Shawn: LeBron is a better rebounder and passer.
Russell Gettis: LeBron will never beat Jordan. Call me when LeBron has six championships.
Shawn: That's your only argument?
Russell Gettis: It's the only argument I need Shawn!

Recommended movies done by the director

Walk Hard:the Dewey Cox Story

Movie review of Attack the block

Attack the block - 6/10

Directed by Joe Cornish

Cast - John Boyega, Jodie Whitaker, Alex Esmail, Nick Frost

Plot Summary

A teen gang in South London defend their block from an alien invasion.

Review

I took a gamble watching this movie solely because Nick Frost( Hot fuzz and Shaun of the dead fame) was in it. I didn't realize however he was only in a supporting role. Nevertheless,I was pleasantly surprised by the movie.Even though Attack the block is purely British and has a relatively low budget.I felt it was done pretty well.Kudos to the director,Joe Cornish for this.Cast for this movie is pretty much unknown except for Nick Frost.But interestingly there was a bit of chemistry.Acting was a little mediocre but acceptable due to the cast being young and all.

The plot is pretty simple and has a traditional alien comes to Earth plot. The design for the aliens is not bad I guess but the furry look doesn't really hack it for me.The script was decent and has some pretty cool lines but the slang is so thick, I'm pretty sure lots of people will find it hard to comprehend. Even I, had to get used to the way they talk. Fifteen mins through the movie,I got used to the slang and started to understand the lingo. I don't think alot of people might enjoy this movie because of this.

Recommended only for those who enjoy British movies if not give Attack the block a miss.

Best Quotes

Probs: No one is going to call you Mayhem if you keep acting like such a pussy

Jerome: This is too much madness to fit into one text!

Movie review of I saw the Devil

I saw the Devil - 8.5/10

Directed by Jee Woon Kim

Cast - Lee Byung Hun, Choi Min Sik

Plot Summary

When his pregnant fiancee becomes the latest victim of a serial killer, a secret agent blurs the line between good and evil in his pursuit of revenge.

Review

This is definitely by far the best Korean movie I have seen.Korean movies do not have much of an impact for me as how Japanese movies do.But there are some that make the cut for me.I enjoyed A Bittersweet life, The good the bad and the weird(both done by the director) and Chan Park Woo's revenge trilogy(sympathy for Mr/Lady Vengeance and Old Boy.But of them all I saw the Devil takes the cake.The colour treatment is fantastic.Great editing and direction for this movie was excellent.I loved the pacing for this movie.Even though the script is in Korean,judging from the way the actors say it and the subtitles,I felt the script was good.I have to admit the violence in this movie is a little thought provoking and maybe a little uncomfortable for women.There was one particular scene which involves a certain body part which made me cringe and I had a sleepless night after that.The interesting thing about I saw the devil is its not just about the violence factor,the characters portrayed by the two main actors were fucking brilliant. Lee Byung Hun is now my favourite Korean actor and followed closely is Choi Min Sik. So far I have enjoyed Lee's movies except for GI Joe(stick to Korean movies,buddy).Choi on the other hand,I have only seen him in Old boy.I'm pretty sure no other Korean actors could do the characters like how these two guys did.There is so much chemistry between them. I will definitely watch the next movie they are in. I would have given a 9 for this movie except for just one scene that kinda annoyed me a little towards the end.I guess they kinda ran out of idea on how to end it.

All in all,I would recommend this movie to those who have a open mind and appreciate violence done rather artistically. If you are the type who are judgmental about movies and bitch,whine,complain about the violence or shit like that.Don't bother with this movie and go fuck yourself.

Movies done by the director

A bittersweet Life

The Good the bad and the weird

Movie Review of Conan The Barbarian

Conan the barbarian - 2.5/10

Directed by Marcus Nispel

Cast - Jason Momoa, Rose Mcgowan,Ron Perlman,Stephen Lang

Plot Summary

The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.

Review

When I first watched Conan the barbarian (1982) starring Arnold Schwarzenegger,I was awed. I remember when I was a kid I pretended I was Conan and played with a toy sword just like how Arnie did it at the scene where he was practicing at the mountain top. Over the years when I watched Conan again and again,I will always remember classic lines like "Crom!, to hell with you! and "crush your enemies,see them driven before you and hear the lamentation of the women". Sadly when I watched the 2011 version I did not feel any form of nostalgia at all. Instead I just felt disappointed.Yet another movie of my childhood is ruined.

In 1982 Conan wields a heavy mean ass broad sword.In 2011, Conan has a faggot looking sword and wields it like a bow legged theater dancer who has stage fright. Jason Momoa is a good Conan.even though he can be no where as close to Arnie but still good enough.(and he has an awesome ass). I just wish he would stop jumping around like a pansy during the fight scenes.As for villains, you have James Earl Jones aka Darth fucking Vader as Thulsa Doom. yea...ok he might have had a silly haircut for that movie but he had a very scary stare unlike Stephan Lang who was fantastic as the bad colonel in Avatar but was shit in Conan.Rose Mcgowan was a fucking waste of space.Her make up made her look like a Gothic Wong Fei Hung (once upon a time in China).The damsel in distress was annoying as well.I wished someone had killed her halfway through the movie.

The violence in this movie was good.lots of blood and bashing of skulls is likened to watermelons being crushed.yup its that easy apparently.I hated the pace of the movie,it was just too fucking fast and editing was bad as well.

Crom is most displeased and wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone. If you have never heard of Conan,just go rent the 1982 version.

Best Quotes

Conan: You have a name?
Tamara: Tamara Amalia Jorvi-Karashan. And yours?
Conan: Conan.
Tamara: [pause] Conan... that's it?
Conan: How many names do I need?

Movies done by the director

Pathfinder

Movie review of Cowboys and Aliens

Cowboys and Aliens - 4.5/10
Directed by Jon Favereau Cast - Daniel Craig,Harrison Ford,Olivia Wilde,Sam Rockwell

Plot Summary
A spaceship arrives in Arizona, 1873, to take over the Earth, starting with the Wild West region. A posse of cowboys and natives are all that stand in their way.

Review
I really thought this movie could be fun to watch especially with a simple title like cowboys and aliens.I got to admit,it is a pretty interesting idea and it would have been a pretty interesting movie had it not been for laziness.The director and script writers just got lazy.Plain and simple.There were so many plot holes to a point it just got fucking silly.I really hate it when I watch a movie with a good start and it ends like fuck.The good thing is the fault is not with the actors as they have done a pretty decent job.Harrison Ford is getting really old...and he looks really old...but he did alright.Daniel Craig somehow hid his British accent by talking as little as possible and was damn cool as usual.The James Bond in him hasn't left yet.ha ha.I was surprised to see Paul Dano at the start of the movie.The way he acted was like doing some leftover bits he had in "There will be blood".Sadly you wont get to see him much after that.
Somewhere down the middle is when the director and the scriptwriters got lazy.I know its supposed to be a "leave your brains at home and just enjoy the action" kinda movie but sometimes a little closure would be nice.We wont really know the full extent on why the aliens are here.They are taking a certain material but for what,we wouldn't know.Humans to them are minuscule but they still keep hostages and shit.OK..well to learn shit from us,EVEN though they underestimate us and think we are "insects".By the way,designers for the alien said they wanted something between Alien and Predator but the alien just looked like a fucking tortoise or a terrapin.Oh it has another pair of softer hands to touch little boys as well.And then you have Olivia Wilde's character,Ella coming in, saying shit,getting killed,being burnt,coming back to life and saying shit again. I got really weird when she who could have been a he but a definite it, kissed Daniel Craig.
Then the Apache Indians and Daniel Craig's old gang comes into the foray. How he found them(the gang) a second time out of sheer luck annoyed me.
But the thing that pissed the fuck out of me the most was this fucking bird/insect thing that kept flying to Daniel Craig's face twice in the movie.WHAT THE FUCK was that all about? What was that supposed to be?? Tinkerbell's mother??

Like I said,Cowboys and Aliens did have a good start but started getting sloppy and to a certain point stupid. Definitely not worth watching on a weekend.Wait for the DVD release.

Movies done by the director
Made
Iron Man
Iron Man 2

Best Quotes
Ella: If it's all the same, I would like to ride along too.
Meacham: Yes, ma'am. We've got a kid, a dog, why not a woman?