Movie Review of Immortals

Immortals - 5.5/10

Directed by Tarsem Singh

Cast - Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, Stephen Dorff, Freida Pinto

Plot Summary

Theseus is a mortal man chosen by Zeus to lead the fight against the ruthless King Hyperion, who is on a rampage across Greece to obtain a weapon that can destroy humanity.

Review

I was looking forward to this as I am a big fan of Greek mythology.And after watching the trailers, I thought it did look pretty impressive.But after the movie ended,I was a little disappointed and thought that it could have been better...much better.

What I was most impressed with Immortals were the costumes and the backdrop.They were beautifully designed,it really was breath taking to watch.If they only paid a little more attention to that plot as well.As for the acting,the cast is relatively new except for the old horse Mickey Rourke.Sadly acting does look a little weak.The main guy, Theseus portrayed by Henry Cavill doesn't seem confident in his role.I don't really recall any movies he was in but I figure he got the role cause he has a pretty awesome body. I didn't recognize Stephen Dorff in this movie right until the credits.He was decent but I wished he had more screen time though.Even Mickey Rourke looks bored.Half the fuck time he is mumbling his lines.Despite that,he still does a villain role well.I just do not like his helmet.The pundei who designed that must have a infatuation with rabbits cause Rourke looks like an Easter bunny or a tripped out version of Donnie Darko's rabbit.Frieda Pinto was doing ok right until she started bawling.She cant cry for shit,I tell you.But there is a scene where she strips and if you are watching this in a cinema,her ass is so close,it will cover half the screen.And the woman has a pretty nice ass.

What got me disappointed, was the pacing of the movie,it was inconsistent.Camera works was bad as well.There are some continuity mistakes and some scenes,you will wonder why and what the fuck just happened? Could be,they had to edit certain scenes for timing? I do not know.But it wasn't good.Also there wasn't a really proper explanation to the characters.I didn't even know who the fuck was Heracles.It took me awhile to spot Aries and Poseidon.Poseidon's helmet looks like a fruit fly for some weird reason.The end fight scene between the gods and titans was pretty cool.You will enjoy it if you enjoy the fight sequences in 300.

I guess Tarsem did a decent job for the Immortals.It was beautiful to watch no doubt but sadly it is forgettable as well.

All in all,I would recommend watching Immortals on a weekday unless you are a big fan of Tarsem Singh's movies.

Best Quotes

Hyperion: Witness Hell.

Recommended movies done by the director

The Cell

Movie Review of Tower Heist

Tower Heist - 1/10

Directed by a cunt called Brett Ratner

Cast - Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Alan Alda, Tea Leoni

Plot Summary

When a group of hard working guys find out they've fallen victim to a wealthy business man's Ponzi scheme, they conspire to rob his high-rise residence.

Review

Time and time, I have repeatedly said, Brett Ratner is a fuckall director.And once again I am right.Tower Heist is a fucking disaster.If it was marketed to be a comedy.then it has failed cause I couldn't even muster a smile through out the movie.If it was marketed to be a heist movie,it has failed as well cause the heist was ridiculously stupid.It is more ridiculous than watching a Tamil movie with Rajnikanth in it.

Why in blue hell did Alan Alda agree to this movie? Eddie Murphy doing this shit movie is pretty much understood cause his movies have been shit for the last ten years.And sadly Ben Stiller is slowly becoming the next Adam Sandler cause his movies have been shit as well.What the fuck were they thinking? These guys used to be good comedians. Why cant they tell from the script that it wasn't funny??

Direction for this movie is rubbish. The flow of the movie is shit.There were so many absurd plot holes.A 45 million gold car being shoved into an elevator shaft or to the top of the roof???? Really??? Editing was horrible.Acting was bad.And someone should beat the script writers to death with a stick.Worst fucking script ever.

Do not even bother paying money or even downloading this worthless crap. Don't even bother.And Fuck you Brett.

Best quotes

None.Script is shit.

Recommended movies done by the director

just watch Rush Hour.The rest is shit.

Movie review of Bad Teacher

Bad Teacher - 3/10

Directed by Jake Kasdan

Cast - Justin Timberlake, Cameron Diaz,Jason Segel

Plot Summary

A comedy centered around a foul-mouthed, junior high teacher who, after being dumped by her sugar daddy, begins to woo a colleague -- a move that pits her against a well-loved teacher.

Review

I always thought Cameron Diaz has lost it but thinking back I just realized that she never had anything to begin with.there is not one movie I can think of she has acted well.Most of her movies are shit and all her movies are banking on her looks.Sadly nowadays, a melted plastic bag looks better than her Botox ridden face. Every time she comes on screen, I start to cringe. The only saving grace in this movie was surprisingly Justin Tmberlake. As much as I hated the fucker,he is slowly establishing himself as a pretty decent actor.The doggy dry humping scene with jeans was the only hilarious scene in this movie.Jason Segel was pretty ok in this movie.I would say he was consistent actually but he does get a little boring. Direction for this movie was ok. The flow was pretty boring as fuck.Editing was done ok only. I didn't like the script, it was cliche and dull. They should have put more focus on that instead of Cameron Diaz.

All in all, Bad teacher is a forgettable movie and if you have missed this in the cinema, it doesn't really matter cause nobody gives two shits about Cameron Diaz anyway.

Best quote

Shawn: LeBron is a better rebounder and passer.
Russell Gettis: LeBron will never beat Jordan. Call me when LeBron has six championships.
Shawn: That's your only argument?
Russell Gettis: It's the only argument I need Shawn!

Recommended movies done by the director

Walk Hard:the Dewey Cox Story

Movie review of Attack the block

Attack the block - 6/10

Directed by Joe Cornish

Cast - John Boyega, Jodie Whitaker, Alex Esmail, Nick Frost

Plot Summary

A teen gang in South London defend their block from an alien invasion.

Review

I took a gamble watching this movie solely because Nick Frost( Hot fuzz and Shaun of the dead fame) was in it. I didn't realize however he was only in a supporting role. Nevertheless,I was pleasantly surprised by the movie.Even though Attack the block is purely British and has a relatively low budget.I felt it was done pretty well.Kudos to the director,Joe Cornish for this.Cast for this movie is pretty much unknown except for Nick Frost.But interestingly there was a bit of chemistry.Acting was a little mediocre but acceptable due to the cast being young and all.

The plot is pretty simple and has a traditional alien comes to Earth plot. The design for the aliens is not bad I guess but the furry look doesn't really hack it for me.The script was decent and has some pretty cool lines but the slang is so thick, I'm pretty sure lots of people will find it hard to comprehend. Even I, had to get used to the way they talk. Fifteen mins through the movie,I got used to the slang and started to understand the lingo. I don't think alot of people might enjoy this movie because of this.

Recommended only for those who enjoy British movies if not give Attack the block a miss.

Best Quotes

Probs: No one is going to call you Mayhem if you keep acting like such a pussy

Jerome: This is too much madness to fit into one text!

Movie review of I saw the Devil

I saw the Devil - 8.5/10

Directed by Jee Woon Kim

Cast - Lee Byung Hun, Choi Min Sik

Plot Summary

When his pregnant fiancee becomes the latest victim of a serial killer, a secret agent blurs the line between good and evil in his pursuit of revenge.

Review

This is definitely by far the best Korean movie I have seen.Korean movies do not have much of an impact for me as how Japanese movies do.But there are some that make the cut for me.I enjoyed A Bittersweet life, The good the bad and the weird(both done by the director) and Chan Park Woo's revenge trilogy(sympathy for Mr/Lady Vengeance and Old Boy.But of them all I saw the Devil takes the cake.The colour treatment is fantastic.Great editing and direction for this movie was excellent.I loved the pacing for this movie.Even though the script is in Korean,judging from the way the actors say it and the subtitles,I felt the script was good.I have to admit the violence in this movie is a little thought provoking and maybe a little uncomfortable for women.There was one particular scene which involves a certain body part which made me cringe and I had a sleepless night after that.The interesting thing about I saw the devil is its not just about the violence factor,the characters portrayed by the two main actors were fucking brilliant. Lee Byung Hun is now my favourite Korean actor and followed closely is Choi Min Sik. So far I have enjoyed Lee's movies except for GI Joe(stick to Korean movies,buddy).Choi on the other hand,I have only seen him in Old boy.I'm pretty sure no other Korean actors could do the characters like how these two guys did.There is so much chemistry between them. I will definitely watch the next movie they are in. I would have given a 9 for this movie except for just one scene that kinda annoyed me a little towards the end.I guess they kinda ran out of idea on how to end it.

All in all,I would recommend this movie to those who have a open mind and appreciate violence done rather artistically. If you are the type who are judgmental about movies and bitch,whine,complain about the violence or shit like that.Don't bother with this movie and go fuck yourself.

Movies done by the director

A bittersweet Life

The Good the bad and the weird