Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Movie Review of Bolt
Bolt - 4.5/10
Directed by Byron Howard,Chris Williams
Cast - John Travolta,Miley Cyrus,Susie Essman,Mark Walton and Malcolm Macdowell
The canine star of a fictional sci-fi/action show that believes his powers are real embarks on a cross country trek to save his co-star from a threat he believes is just as real.
Review This is definitely one of the most visually stunning yet boring animated movies.Apparently its Pixar's 1st movie under Disney.And Disney movies are fucking boring as hell.Even the old school cartoons were fucking boring!(Warner Bros Cartoons rule!)and Fuck Mickey Mouse as well.There have been very very rare Disney movies that I have enjoyed and sadly Bolt belongs to the pile of shit Disney movies that I don't.
To begin with..this is probably the worst voice over cast for an animated movie.First you get the alien worshipping idiot, Mr John "Look Who's Talking" Travolta in the lead role.Then you have that inbred cunt, Miley "Fucking Hannah Montana Chow Cheebye" Cyrus as the 2ND lead.The only other casting which I enjoyed were Susie Essman (who was the foul mouthed wife in Larry David's Curb your enthusiasm) and Mark Walton who is an unknown.Only these two were funny.Travolta who can dance but cant act for shit has another dud now.He cant do voice overs as well.The only funny scenes coming from his lead role is when he isn't talking and doing funny faces which is fucking sad for an actor of his calibre.
Now if you are into animations and all,this is just fucking amazing.From the dog's fur to the backgrounds,its just beautiful.I was little stunned by the whole imagery in the first 15 mins of the movie.Despite that and a typical feel good heart warming storyline,this movie was let down by the voice over cast.
I would highly recommend you not to watch this movie at all.If you have kids and they insist on watching this.you can either
a) slap them.
b)make them watch a good horror movie so they have nightmares.
c)read to them,L.Ron Hubbard's Battlefield Earth every fucking night.
Rhino: Bolt! I can be a valuable addition to your team...
Bolt: I'm listening...
Rhino: I'm lightning quick; I have razor-sharp reflexes. Wha! And I'm a master of stealth.
Rhino: Plus, I'll keep the cat in check.
[Mittens rolls her eyes]
Bolt: [Gets down close to Rhino's ball] The road'll be rough.
Rhino: [indicates] I have a ball.
Bolt: There's no turnin' back.
Rhino: Guess I'll have to "roll" with the punches!
["surfs" his ball]
Bolt: Easy won't be part of the equation...
Bolt: I gotta warn ya, going into the belly of the beast - danger at every turn.
Rhino: [getting closer] I eat danger for breakfast!
Bolt: You hungry?
Rhino: [cracks neck] Starving!
Recommended movie by the director