Movie review of G I Joe: Retaliation

G I Joe: Retaliation - 2/10

Directed by Jon M. Chu
Cast - Channing Tatum, Dwayne Johnson, Byung Hun Lee, Ray Park,Ray Stevenson

Plot Summary
Framed for crimes against the country, the G.I. Joe team is terminated by the President's order, and the surviving team members face off against Zartan, his accomplices, and the world leaders he has under his influence.


Review
Sometimes there are certain types of movie which I call"no brainer" movies where you don't give a fuck about the plot or anything, You just leave your brains out and get entertained by the actions and explosions(for example,Michael Bay's movies).
Sadly G I Joe: Retaliation isn't one of those movies. The first one sucked ass and this one sucks ass as well.Definitely one of the worst sequels, I have watched. Not even The Rock can save this movie. Heck..Not even Bruce Willis could save it.What a disaster. Wasted money watching this shit of a sequel.
Acting was bad....really bad. Direction was horrible and worse was the editing.Fucking lanjiao editing.Script was shit also.All the jokes are so bad,you wouldn't realize they were jokes.
GI Joe fans must be really pissed.First movie fucked up,now the sequel also. Within fifteen mins, You kill off Duke which was the main character for the first one and for GI Joe.Wasn't Channing Tatum,one of the top billing for this movie? Bruce Willis acted like he was still pissed about doing the fifth Die Hard(which was shit also). The women in the movie were just there for eye candy and showing off their fake tits. Cobra Commander has lesser screen time than you taking a shit.But hey at least he has the proper mask on unlike the bubble wrap looking mask from the last movie. Even lesser screen time was Destro. You could miss him in a fart. Zartan is in disguise 95% of the whole movie so its pretty much double acting by Jonathan Pryce. Ray Stevenson who is British acts as Firefly who has a Texan accent...Sigh...
Then you have Storm Shadow and Snake eyes who possibly are the reason why I give this movie a two instead of a zero.
Rock may have revived the Fast and Furious franchise but he is sure as shit not gonna do GI Joe any saving.


In fact Fuck GI Joe. I will never fucking watch any more GI Joe movies anymore.



Best quotesJoe Colton: You alright?
Lady Jaye: Yeah. Are you alright?
Joe Colton: My cholesterol is a little high.


Recommended movies done by the director.
None.The fucker directed Justin Bieber's never say never. So he can fuck off and die.

Movie review of Oblivion

Oblivion - 8/10
Directed by Joseph Kosinski
Cast - Tom Cruise,Morgan Freeman, Olga Kurylenko, Andrea Riseborough

Plot Summary
One of the few remaining drone repairmen assigned to Earth, its surface devastated after decades of war with the alien Scavs, discovers a crashed spacecraft with contents that bring into question everything he believed about the war, and may even put the fate of mankind in his hands.

Review
All I can say after watching Oblivion is Cruise is back!!! What an awesome movie and a pleasant surprise, Oblivion turned out to be. I enjoyed it right to the very end.
Oblivion has a very good storyline which I cannot reveal anything as the spoilers will fuck the ride up. I will be as vague as possible. The effects are really good. I also liked the costumes for the movie. It has a mix of both futuristic and apocalyptic feel to it. I also liked the script and the direction was good as well.
Acting was fantastic. Cruise as usual did a fantastic job. His last movie, Jack Reacher was utter rubbish. I'm so glad he did this movie cause I don't think any other actor could pull it off. Morgan Freeman was at his usual best. The guy rarely gives a mediocre performance and he chooses his movies wisely as well.The surprise for me was Andrea Riseborough. I have not seen her any of her other movies but she pretty much stole the movie each time she was on screen. The only letdown for Oblivion was Olga Kurylenko. Her acting was atrocious. I kept cringing and groaning whenever she was onscreen. Her acting was so bad that even the drones acted better.My only flaw for the movie was Olga's acting.
I'm not gonna say much about the drones but to me, they are the stars of the movie. They are bound to creep you out. The drones had this 2001:Space odyssey vibe to them which I thoroughly enjoyed.

Worth watching on a weekend. You can also watch it with a loved one and get ready with a fantastic ride to Oblivion.
Just take note...after the movie,you will never look at a red light the same again.

Best Quotes

Jack Harper: 60 years ago, Earth was attacked. We won the war, but they destroyed half the planet. Every one's been evacuated. Nothing human remains. We're here for drone repair. We're the "mop-up crew".

Jack Harper: If we have souls, they're made of the love we share. Undimmed by time, unbound by death.

Jack Harper: Fuck you, Sally.

Sally: Are you an effective team?

Recommended movies done by the director
Tron Legacy

Movie review of Bekas

Bekas - 7/10
Directed by Karzan Kader
Cast - Zamand Taha, Sarwar Fazil

Plot Summary
This is a story about two homeless brothers (Zana, 7) and (Dana, 10) who live on the edge of survival.

Review
I remember watching the trailer for Bekas while watching a movie in the cinema 2 months ago and I immediately told myself that I must watch this movie when its out. Last Saturday, when I found out that the cinemas were finally showing Bekas( limited timings and cinemas though), I quickly bought tickets to watch it.
I have to say Bekas which translates as Parentless in Kurdish is a touching movie with beautiful scenic shots and some very good acting. Within 5 minutes of the movie,you will be endeared to the  2 main characters, Zana and Dana. The boys are the main characters and they have fantastic chemistry with each other that you will believe that they really were brothers. Zana played by Zamand Taha is the scene stealer of Bekas. Every time he is onscreen,you will laugh and feel sad for his innocence. The shenanigans, the brothers do to get by and all are funny but at the same time you will feel pity for the plight they are in.
I liked the direction of Bekas and Karzan Kader definitely did a fine job writing it as well. I haven't seen any of his earlier works but I will look forward to his future projects. i liked the camera works even though some shots were kinda over used. There some really good shots of the boys showing their emotions and you can feel it. Editing was also pretty good. Captured the story well. I have to admit there were some flaws of the movie I did not like but that's just a very slight technical part of the movie.

For a small budgeted movie with a pretty small production crew, what I enjoyed most from Bekas is the acting, the story and the script.

Really worth watching this movie on a weekend with a loved one. Unfortunately, there are limited cinemas and show times available for Bekas, so watch it quick. Truly worth my cinema ticket.

Movie review of Flight

Flight - 5/10
Directed by Robert Zemeckis
Cast - Denzel Washington, John Goodman, Don Cheadle,Nadine Velazquez

Plot Summary
An airline pilot saves a flight from crashing, but an investigation into the malfunctions reveals something troubling.

Review
I've always enjoyed Denzel Washington's movies.The dude can act. And to find out that Flight is directed by Robert Zemeckis, it got me pretty excited for this movie. Furthermore this is Zemeckis's first live action movie since Cast Away. Sadly, my excitement was pretty much dulled out. I wouldn't say that Flight was a shit movie but it wasn't great either. There was simply nothing fantastic in Flight.Of course Denzel Washington acted like how he normally would but that was it. Cause I'm starting to feel that Denzel is starting to turn into Al Pacino. Why Al Pacino? let me explain. Now if you have been watching good old Al, despite being a good actor, his main talent is pretty much shouting. You can say, he shouted his way to an Oscar. And Denzel Washington? Well,his main talent is stammering and twitching of his lips either in a manner when he is about to cry or get angry. And he did that to get his Oscar. And if you realize, he has been doing that stammer and twitch move for awhile now.
Direction was decent as well.But that is expected from a director such as Zemeckis. Plot wise I kinda like the message they were trying to put out. but I think leaving the whole flying the plane upside down would be better. I'm no pilot but that was just a ridiculous Hollywood stunt to attract people to the cinema. That scene shouldn't be the highlight of the movie.The message should be the highlight.
I liked the colour and tone of the movie, it had kinda of a retro 80's feel to it. Too bad the movie wasn't based on that timeline though. Soundtrack was cool. As much as I love any Rolling Stones songs in a movie, but if you kept repeating the songs whenever a character appears, it could be a little overkill but hey its the fucking Stones so its all good.
It was also nice to see John Goodman and Denzel Washington together (last was Fallen). Goodman has all the best lines in the movie. He just lightens up the crowd whenever he was on screen.Good job, Goodman. It was also nice to see Don Cheadle as well even though I felt his character was alittle too subdued against Washington's character. It would have been nice if they really had gone head to head.

All in all, Flight is a decent movie to watch. Go watch it on weekday if you have to.

Best Quotes
Harling Mays: Don't touch the fucking merch.

Harling Mays: Oh! Oh, almost forgot- I got you some stroke mags. Been in the hospital, know what you need. Got Jugs, Hot Milfs and Eat Ass Masters. You just stroke it all day- you're a hero. If I was you, I'd just lay here, pulling on that thing all day long.

Avington Carr: Makes me wanna sniff some lines and go fly a jet!

Harling Mays: See y'all on the dark side of the Moon.

Recommended movies done by the director
Forest Gump
Cast Away
Back to the Future

Movie review of A Good Day to Die Hard

A good day to die hard - 3/10
Directed by John Moore
Cast - Bruce Willis, Jai Courtney, Sebastian Koch

Plot Summary
John McClane travels to Russia to help out his seemingly wayward son, Jack, only to discover that Jack is a CIA operative working to prevent a nuclear-weapons heist, causing the father and son to team up against underworld forces.

Review
I love the Die Hard series, every single one. I am a big fan of John McClane and I always watch the Die Hard series once a year. That's how much I love Die Hard. Now when I got to know they were making a fifth one and this time it involves his estranged son, I was excited. But when I saw the trailer, somehow it didn't convince or excite me in the least bit. And true enough after watching the movie,I was disgusted with A good day to die hard.
First I do not know who's bright idea it was (MDA or distributors) to censor this movie. This is by far the worst form of censorship I have seen. What are they trying to prove here. You censor out all the profanities and then use a word like "Cheap Pet" which Willis says to cover it? I cant believe I paid money to watch this.Fuck you very fucking much! you can cut out the profanities but leave kill scenes alone? are we living in fucking Iraq or the Soviet? this clearly shows how far up their asses they have been. You seriously think its ok for a child to see blood and exploding heads and shit but you must never ever say the word Fuck? Well... FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK AND GO FUCK YOURSELF! We, the paying audience are not imbeciles, the very fucking least you could do is at least open up one cinema with an uncensored cut and adults can watch it.
Its bad enough about the shitty cuts and to make it worse the movie doesn't really justify the Die Hard title. The only good thing about A good day to die hard was the car chase scene. That was well shot and the stunts were fantastic. All my 3 points goes to this scene. Other than that the whole movie was shit. What little of the script that can be heard, I'm pretty sure was written by a constipated monkey. The acting is horrendous. Jai Courtney who is McClane's son is fuckall and has zero fucking chemistry with Bruce Willis. Mr Bruce Willis, please stop ruining the Die Hard series instead go do Hudson Hawk 2 or something. You can clearly see that Bruce Willis was bored and just sort of tagged along in this movie.
Also the pathetic attempts of doing classic DIe Hard shots were very laughable...in a bad way. Direction was absolute shit and John Moore should go fuck himself...Plain and simple. Editing was shit as well, the cuts were so fucking horrible and cringe worthy. I also suspect that the constipated monkey who wrote the script had a brother and that monkey was addicted to crack cocaine definitely must have been the cameraman. The zooming ins were all so sudden and irregular. And boy does he love zooming in. Every fuck thing also zoom in.

All in all I urge every Die Hard  and Bruce Willis fans in Singapore to avoid this movie at all cost. The censors fucked this already fucked up movie. Go download or rent the DVD when its out. Just do not give your hard earned money to these fucks who obviously doesn't care about avid movie fans like us.

The bastards even cut out Yippee Ki Yay......  Shame on them!

Best Quotes
None.

Recommended movies done by the director
Behind enemy lines