Movie review of Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri - 8/10

This is definitely going to be one of my best movies for 2018. I thoroughly enjoyed watching this. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri is written and directed by Martin McDonagh. Martin is also known for In Bruges and Seven Psychopaths. Both equally enjoyable movies even though they were not mainstream.

Direction and how this movie was filmed was simple and nothing fantastic. The key ingredient for Martin McDonagh's movies has always been the script and acting. And for Three Billboards, you have that. An absolutely funny script and a fucking solid cast comprising of Frances McDormand, Woody Harrelson and Sam Rockwell. Frances was as her usual stellar self. She has done some fine acting and had some good choices of roles over the years and it sure helps if your husband is Joel Coen. Woody Harrelson is the kind of actor who can do pretty much any fucking role. Hero, psycho, comedy. You name it, Woody can do it. However in Three billboards, as brilliant as he was, Woody was not surprisingly overshadowed by the underrated yet brilliant Sam Rockwell. Every scene Sam Rockwell and Frances McDormand are in a scene, it is fucking funny and brilliant. The chemistry between them is fantastic.

The good thing about these actors is that they really choose their roles and do a fantastic job at it. Sam has done some really good movies and worked with some good upcoming directors. I always remembered him in the Star Trek spoof comedy, The Galaxy Quest. This is one actor whom I follow and I hope to see many more fantastic acting from him.


I highly recommend everyone to watch this movie. Worth watching on a weekend.

Favourite Lines
Mildred Hayes: Hey fuckhead!
Dixon: What?
Desk Sergeant: Don't say what, Dixon. When she comes in calling you a "fuckhead."

Mildred Hayes: So how's it all going in the nigger- torturing business, Dixon?
Dixon: It's 'Persons of color'-torturing business, these days, if you want to know. And I didn't torture nobody.

Movie review of Justice League

Justice League - 5/10

They(Warner Bros) never seem to learn from their mistakes. Its not just only the same problems they had with Batman vs Superman, this time they got a whole new set of problems as well. One thing is for sure, WB just doesn't give a rat's ass about continuity. The number of obvious mistakes between BvS and JL is astounding. here's one. Why the fuck do you need to edit your film to a shorter time and then release the director's cut for. Cutting out at least 40 mins of footage is silly. There are bound to be obvious jump cuts and it disrupts the flow of the movie. There were a few times, I went "What the fuck is going on?" throughout the movie and some questionable scenes that made me go "Did that "really happen or When the fuck did that happen?'

And what's up with the special effects lah? Why the CGI until like that? The CGI villain, Steppenwolf reminded me of Beowulf the animated movie. I have no idea who he is. The only Steppenwolf, I know is the dude who sang, "Born to be wild" and I got that song from a movie with a gorilla who escapes the zoo with a teenager. Go figure.

When everyone had a hard time beating him but Superman comes in and punches the shit out him. Wow. Before I get into Superman, Steppenwolf's story was also explained a little too briefly and the whole thing with the mother boxes is confusing.

Superman. At the end of BvS, there is earth moving on his coffin which would surely mean he is coming back to life cos of the sun and all. But that suddenly changed into putting a mother box into that Luthor's alien ship and bringing him back to life. WHY? And then there was that ridiculous removal of his moustache using CGI which made him look abit like Stan from American Dad.

Batman. I felt Affleck did a decent job portraying as Batman in BvS. His Batman voice was more audible instead of Bale's death metal growl. Bruce Wayne was supposed to be old in this. Perhaps they should have made Affleck a little more older which would have been cooler. I also liked the fact that Danny Elfman did a little tribute by putting the old Batman theme and Superman theme in the music subtly.

Wonderwoman. Gal Gadot was good. Her stand alone movie was fantastic and her theme song kicked ass. This I'm not too sure but the sword she wields... wasn't that destroyed earlier?

Cyborg. I don't really know much about the comic character nor the actor, Ray Fisher but I would say he did a pretty decent job. What I loved more was his father who had an awesome death scene in Terminator 2(Dr. Miles Dyson). There was a scene where a bad guy(I can't remember what the fuck they were called) creeps up behind him and that really reminded me of T2.

Flash. His suit looked like a skinnier and white version of Shaquille O'Neal's superhero movie, Steel. But he is still way more better and funnier than the TV series Flash. That fucker was annoying and whiny.

Aquaman. Jason Momoa. That is one hot, good looking Hawaiian. Even though in some scenes he was confused as I was and I couldn't really hear what the fuck he was talking about. He may have totally fucked up the remake of Conan but I will still look forward to his stand alone movie.


All in all, Justice League was abit of a letdown due to horrible CGI and shit editing. I suggest just wait for the director's cut and watch it on a weekday. Not worth the weekend price ticket.

Movie review of The Hitman's Bodyguard

The Hitman's Bodyguard - 5.5/10
If you feel like watching a movie without over thinking or you don't want to concentrate on the script and acting and what not. Plus if you are a fan of Samuel L Jackson's movies, then this movie is for you.
Mindless entertainment. Good action sequences and fight choreography. And shit loads of vulgarity.

The cast is pretty good. You got Ryan Reynolds and Sam Jackson doing the buddy thing. They got chemistry and there are some damn funny scenes and lines between them. Reynolds has that exasperated look which serves him well when he is against the always angry Jackson. Gary Oldman is always solid as a bad guy even though he had some weird make up on(which was fine until the close ups). I wished Salma Hayek had more scenes though. That beautiful woman is still smoking hot and  doesn't seem to age one bit. Elodie Yung wasn't good. Electra can't seem to act and appears stiff at times.

The plot is absolute shit and the script is pretty much a "best of Samuel L Jackson's classic one liners". You can spot lines from Die Hard 3 to Pulp Fiction. And the way the word "Motherfucker" rolls out of Sam Jackson's tongue, it's just too cool yet you can feel the hate. And I love saying "Motherfucker" in Sam Jackson's style.


If you can get pass the ridiculous story line, you will enjoy the Hitman's Bodyguard. Just watch it n a weekday.

Movie review of War for the Planet of the Apes

War for the Planet of the Apes - 6/10

It took me quite awhile to catch this movie even though I really wanted to watch this when I saw the trailer. In a way, I'm kinda glad I didn't watch it on a weekend when it just came out cause the movie wasn't really what I expected and I was a little disappointed with it. Somehow War just felt incomplete. I'm not sure if there is going to be a fourth movie but if there is, I have a funny feeling it's gonna go downhill from here.
Dawn and Rise had fantastic story lines and also a pretty good cast. In fact War has a good cast as well. You have Woody Harrelson who could have been a great and memorable villain but unfortunately he was severely under used. There were so little scenes of him and his last scene was disappointing. Andy Serkis as always was remarkable and such a joy to watch him but this time Caesar was more subdued, maybe it was the age thing and all, I guess. But I still felt something about War's story line that was lacking. I certainly don't feel the need to watch this movie again even if it were to show on cable.
The virus thing that used to kill humans in the previous movies is a bit more docile now and just makes the humans dumb and stupid literally. If I remember correctly from the original movie, the humans were something like that. I may be wrong, it's been a while since I watched that Charlton Heston movie. At least that plot was understandable. What about the avalanche that came out of nowhere like Randy Orton and pretty much killed the rest of the other army and were they infected? Sadly that wasn't explained. And then you have the ending which kinda pissed me off. I know that Caesar has to die and he has to die in a dramatic way but come on lah. Making him die like as though the fella is fucking Moses? Fuck that. I really hate it when they fuse movies with religion, it fucking irks me.

If you haven't watch this, just wait for it on cable. Don't waste your money.

Movie review of Transformers: The Last Knight

Transformers: The Last Knight : 1/10

I went into the cinema knowing full well it's gonna be a shit movie solely because its Michael Bay and all of the Transformers movies were shit. This guy is like Midas, except everything he touches turns to shit instead of gold. For 2 hours and 40 mins, I was dumbfounded. Dumbfounded because I knew it was going to be a shit movie and yet Bay has somehow still managed to piss me off with this horrible piece of crap. I'm going to go in point form and I don't really give a shit about spoilers cause the whole fuck movie is spoilt anyway and it's a Michael Bay movie not a PT Anderson movie so fuck off.

• Editing. Absolute garbage. I have no fucking idea what the fuck is going on throughout the movie. One scene you are here and then suddenly without explanation you are there and the cuts are so abrupt.
• Script. Here's an example. "Optimus Prime: [Morse code] I'm coming for you, humans..." IN FUCKING MORSE CODE!!!! And the lines gets worse for the fucking humans.
• Optimus Prime. I thought the fucker died or looking for something in the previous movie. He finds cybertron which is controlled by some lanjiao bitch transformer leader called Quintessa. She mind fucks him till his eyes turn purple which means he is bad now. Then you don't see that fucker for 30 mins or more in the movie and suddenly he appears and takes Merlin's staff. YEA... FUCKING MERLIN....KING FUCKING ARTHUR'S MERLIN!
• Optimus Prime's lines. Half the fuck time he is asking everyone what's his motherfucking name like as though he is Snoop Dogg and just to make sure, he will mention his name about 5000 times. even when he is bad, he gives himself a new name. Nemesis Prime. KNN. How about Pukimak Prime, motherfucker.
• Megatron. It's just lazy that you have to use Starscream's helmet design and say that's a new Megatron look. Frank Welker did the VO for Megatron this time instead of Hugo Weaving which is cool but not very menacing.
• Decepticons. I don't know why you have to show a range of decepticons with name tags only to kill them off in the next few mins. Definitely done for Hasbro to milk idiots into buying the toys for sure.
• Timeline. There is no fucking link if you combine all the  Transformers movies together. and then in the Last Knight, all of a sudden you have King fucking Arthur and the knights of the round table and fucking Merlin(FUCK YOU STANLEY TUCCI) carrying a Transformer staff that wields a fucking three headed transformer dragon. Then all of a sudden you have WORLD WAR 2 sequences as well. Hitler was killed by a Transformer clock. Yup. A fucking Transformer clock.
• Sir Anthony Hopkins. From Remains of the day to Silence of the lambs to Transformers. Why??? You got no money ah cheebye? Getting senile ah? For fuck's sake....
• Mark Wahlberg aka Marky Mark and his bewildered "Why the fuck am I doing this for a second time" look.
• British chick. Her forehead like Wong Fei Hong.
• Special effects were good but utterly useless. you rarely see the transformations.
• Bumble bee. now he can join his parts like Ironman. and suddenly... he has a voice that pretty much says "I love you Optimus, I will suck your cock and I will die for you" Well along those lines anyway.
• Hot Rod aka Rodimus Prime is French. WHY???? What's next? Soundwave with an Indian accent?
• Autobots. Fuck them and their VO actors. By the way you will only see the useless Grimlock in the junkyard. That's all cause the the other Autobots left the fucker there.
• Little dinobots. I don't know what else to call them but I wonder, did Grimlock fuck Marky Mark to get those fucking babies?

All in all, this is definitely going into the list of worst movies of 2017. If you wanna bring your kids to watch this, for mindless fun. Don't. Teach them Maths or some shit. Fuck this movie.