Movie review of Death Wish

Death Wish - 4/10

Directed by Eli Roth

I'm starting to notice a pattern about Bruce Willis. It started with A Good Day to Die Hard (which is the most lanjiao movie of the Die Hard franchise). Every movie since then, Bruce Willis has not given a fuck about acting anymore. From Good Day to Die Hard to Death Wish, almost all of his movies, he gives the same "Eh Fuck you lah, I'm bald Bruce Willis. I don't need to act" look. From the smirks to the damn "sian" style of delivering lines, he has been doing the same shit and its starting to get a little annoying.

I fondly remember watching the original Death Wish with my dad as he was a huge Charles Bronson fan. The original Death Wish was gritty and a cult classic. The sequels after were a little meh but it's ok cause they had Charles motherfucking Bronson in it. Man, was that fella a badass. So when I found out that Bored Willis (I'm gonna call him that from now on) was gonna act in the remake directed by Eli Roth, I thought OK, let's give it a try.

I felt Eli Roth did a pretty decent job. The kill scenes were brutal and made me cringe a little. You expect nothing less from a guy who did Hostel, Hostel 2 and Cabin Fever. Soundtrack was a little weird. I don't know why ACDC's Back in Black was used for a sort of training sequence montage, it just didn't click and I thought ACDC can pretty much work well for any kind of movie. Well, I was wrong.

It was nice to see Dean Norris doing a Hank (Breaking Bad) kind of role. Elisabeth Shue did what she did cause her role was pretty small. I couldn't recognize her at first, I thought it was Kyra Sedgewick. hahahaha.  The immensely talented Vincent D'Onoforio was severely under used. This guy does fucking fantastic villain roles and I felt he should have been given a bigger role for this. Bored Willis was... well.. bored as usual. Knn even sad scenes also, he looked bored. I burst out laughing at his attempt of crying. Chialat lah the fella.

Now Death Wish may look like its advocating for guns and all despite what's going on in America and timing couldn't be any worse. Maybe that's why it didn't do really well. Either that or people are starting to be just as bored as Bored Willis.

You don't really need to watch this in a cinema, just wait for it on cable will do.

Movie review of Red Sparrow

Red Sparrow - 4/10

Directed by Francis Lawrence

Spy or espionage movies don't really have a lot of action in them. They mostly depend on the drama, the acting, script and plot twists. I'm not gonna count the Bond franchise because that's pretty much action with good looking people and what not. I'm talking about movies like Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Tailor of Panama or A Most Wanted Man where the focus is mainly on acting and delivering the script. Sadly, Red Sparrow tries too hard and becomes a little dull and draggy. And you can see the plot twist and reveal pretty much a mile away.

I didn't really like the casting as well. Jennifer Lawrence can be a good actress in certain movies but Red Sparrow is clearly not suited for her. First of all she is not really consistent with the accent. Whenever she shouts or gets angry, the Russian accent disappears. Second, her face is too bubbly for scenes which show distress or pain. That particular scene where she strips naked to sort of emasculate the guy who wants to fuck her, I was not convinced one bit. If you give that kind of scene to actresses like Marion Cotillard or Noomi Rapace, Fucking hell.. I will probably chop my cock off in shame. The worst casting was Mary Louise Parker. What the fuck was she doing? She acted like as though it was an episode of Weeds. Matthias Schoenaerts was not too bad. I remembered him from the movie, Rust and Bone. Even Joel Edgerton was decent, I still think someone else could have done his role better. Veterans like Ciaran Hinds and Jeremy Irons were given small roles and under utilized. Both pretty much did fuckall actually.

Direction and camera works was alright. Plot wise, it was a little draggy and too much focus on the training. Sitting down like a classroom, touching nipples and showing tits, dicks and ass is not really a training sequence for me.

Overall, Red Sparrow is a forgettable movie and I will not watch it again. Just wait for cable to watch for those who haven't.

Movie Review of Black Panther

Black Panther - 7/10

I'm not a big fan of Black Panther comics and I haven't really read much of his stuff so I wouldn't really know how much the movie has deviated from the comic. So I'm writing my review just as a movie fan's perspective.
I enjoyed Black Panther as a visual treat. It's very obvious there has been a lot of effort and work done. The designs for the city, Wakanda reminds me of futuristic city that is not bleak but happy. I really liked the intricate costume designs for all the tribes. They were made in such a way that you can tell each tribe have their own costumes and colours and they looked beautiful. My personal favs are the tribe with the dude who has a huge coaster like thing on his lower lip and the Jabari Lady warriors.Those ladies are fierce as fuck.
Casting for Black Panther was pretty good as well. The ones that stole the scenes for me were Michael B Jordan as Kilmonger and Danai Gurrira as Okoye. Danai was my fav character, Michone in the TV series, Walking Dead. The reason I say "was" is cos the fucking series which used to be great is boring as fuck now and should be called Sleeping Dead instead. Anyway, Danai's fight choreography was great to watch as well. I remember watching Michael B Jordan as a kid in my fav TV series called The Wire. He has definitely grown up to be a fine actor and I look forward to watching many more of his movies. His only shit movie was the disastrous Fantastic Four remake which was painful to watch. Jordan plays a rather different type of villain in this movie. A bad guy whom the audience can understand and probably relate to due to shit going on in America.
Direction for this movie was pretty good as well. I got to give it to Ryan Coogler. He did an indie flick called Fruitvale Station which was a really good movie. Then he went on to do Creed which I found it to be great as well. Both movies feature Michael B Jordan as well. I will definitely keep an eye out for his future works.

All in all , Black Panther is a fun movie to watch which has a decent story line and script which does make you kind of reflect.Especially that last line of Killmonger. Thought provoking and quote worthy as well. I really liked that line.

Worth watching on a weekend.

PS- There are 2 end credit scenes which aren't really important. You can skip it and find out online later on instead of waiting.

Movie revew of The Cloverfield Paradox

The Cloverfield Paradox - 4.5/10

All I can say The Cloverfield Paradox is that it had an interesting marketing strateg for a lanjiao movie. I still think of all the Clovefield movies so far, Paradox is the worst. The first one was the best and blew my mind.
I just love movies when you have a bunch of people stuck in space and you watch them do some crazy scary shit. It can be alien or any other shit. As long as its in space, in a cool looking ship and some fuck shit is gonna happen. Alien, Event Horizon, Life, Gravity were all great examples of Sci fi Horror movies. The Cloverfield Paradox sadly wont be in that list.
I will say Paradox had a great start, then it got a little bit ridiculous in the middle and downright stupid towards the end.
Half the fuck time, I don't understand what the fuck is going on. You can keep saying the fucking word "Paradox" 5000 times. It still doesn't explain much and it doesn't make the movie look smart either.
There are two things that annoyed the shit out of me in this movie. One was the arm scene. It was a great idea for a scare but the execution and acting fucked it up. and giving it a fucking pen was fucking stupid as well.
Second was this. You have a team of scientists/ astronauts from different countries. You got an English, a Russian, a German, an Italian or French (I can't remember) and a Chinese. When everyone is speaking English, why the fuck must the Chinese be speaking in Mandarin only? So the rest of staff need to learn how to speak Mandarin on top of saving the world? What kind of fucking lanjiao logic is that? Cheebye, you cannot make Zhang Zhiyi speak English ah? Really fucking stupid.
The casting was horrible for this movie. Chris O'Dowd is not right for this movie at all. His reactions were shit. The main actress ho was supposed to be the most level headed character does something dumb towards the end which just makes me question, what the fuck is the writer doing? Wasted lah, this movie had the potential to be great but bad acting and story ruined it.


Don't bother watching The Cloverfield Paradox, it's a waste of time.

Movie review of Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri - 8/10

This is definitely going to be one of my best movies for 2018. I thoroughly enjoyed watching this. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri is written and directed by Martin McDonagh. Martin is also known for In Bruges and Seven Psychopaths. Both equally enjoyable movies even though they were not mainstream.

Direction and how this movie was filmed was simple and nothing fantastic. The key ingredient for Martin McDonagh's movies has always been the script and acting. And for Three Billboards, you have that. An absolutely funny script and a fucking solid cast comprising of Frances McDormand, Woody Harrelson and Sam Rockwell. Frances was as her usual stellar self. She has done some fine acting and had some good choices of roles over the years and it sure helps if your husband is Joel Coen. Woody Harrelson is the kind of actor who can do pretty much any fucking role. Hero, psycho, comedy. You name it, Woody can do it. However in Three billboards, as brilliant as he was, Woody was not surprisingly overshadowed by the underrated yet brilliant Sam Rockwell. Every scene Sam Rockwell and Frances McDormand are in a scene, it is fucking funny and brilliant. The chemistry between them is fantastic.

The good thing about these actors is that they really choose their roles and do a fantastic job at it. Sam has done some really good movies and worked with some good upcoming directors. I always remembered him in the Star Trek spoof comedy, The Galaxy Quest. This is one actor whom I follow and I hope to see many more fantastic acting from him.


I highly recommend everyone to watch this movie. Worth watching on a weekend.

Favourite Lines
Mildred Hayes: Hey fuckhead!
Dixon: What?
Desk Sergeant: Don't say what, Dixon. When she comes in calling you a "fuckhead."

Mildred Hayes: So how's it all going in the nigger- torturing business, Dixon?
Dixon: It's 'Persons of color'-torturing business, these days, if you want to know. And I didn't torture nobody.