Movie review of After Earth

After Earth - 4.5/10
Directed by M.Night Shyamalan
Written by Gary Whitta and Will Smith
Cast - Will Smith, Jaden Smith, Zoe Kravitz, Sophie Okonedo

Plot Summary
A crash landing leaves Kitai Raige and his father Cypher stranded on Earth, a millennium after events forced humanity's escape. With Cypher injured, Kitai must embark on a perilous journey to signal for help.

Review
The moment I found out that M.Night Shyamalan was directing this movie,I knew in fact everyone knew it was gonna be shit. His last few movies have been shit so why wouldn't this be as well? I would know because I have been watching them in the cinemas grudgingly since unbreakable.All because of a stupid pact,me and my friend made that we would watch all his movies in the cinema with a bucket of KFC chicken. And with every M.Night movies, we were concentrating more on the chicken than the movie itself. So we had no choice but to watch After Earth and as usual we watched it with zero expectations.Surprisingly enough, the movie didn't suck as bad as we thought it usually would.
It wasn't spectacular or anything but just boring. The good parts of the movie were the camera works. There were some really fantastic shots and of course your trademarks M.Night shots which has that shock feel sometimes as well.
Acting wise, its bad. Will Smith had that constipated look throughout the whole film, you wonder what's been up his ass the whole time.The worst is Jaden Smith. That frown he gives through out the movie makes me want to punch his throat repeatedly. That boy is so annoying and he cannot act to save his life.
Script is equally bad and just plain lazy.For a science fiction movie,the plot was dull and unimaginative. Animals evolving to hate humans after just 1000 years is kinda dumb and you will see half hyena and half lion hybrids and a giant bird which is half vulture and half eagle.And that fucking bird scene was just so ridiculous,it made me groan.


It's a good thing that Will Smith was pretty much in charge of the whole movie.From casting to script and direction.He just let M.Night do his usual bit but at a minimum level. Because if After Earth is fully written and directed by M.Night, he would have made the fucking bird as Kitai's father as a plot twist cause that's the kind of stupid shit M.Night pulls.

Don't bother, just wait for cable to watch this.

Best Quotes
Cypher Raige: Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice. We are all telling ourselves a story and that day mine changed.

Recommended movies done by the director
Sixth Sense
Unbreakable

Movie review of Man of Steel

Man of Steel - 7/10
Directed by Zack Snyder
Written by David S.Goyer
Cast - Henry Cavill, Kevin Costner, Russell Crowe, Michael Shannon,Diane Lane, Amy Adams

Plot Summary
A young itinerant worker is forced to confront his secret extraterrestrial heritage when Earth is invaded by members of his race.

Review
Never been a big fan of Superman comics but I have always enjoyed watching cartoons and certain movies(Reeve) so I wouldn't really know the full details of Superman.What I do know is just the basic stuff like his real name,what his powers are and all that. The last superman movie directed by Bryan Singer titled Superman returns was awful. Also the last movie directed by Zack Snyder was Sucker Punch and that was awful. So I was rather skeptical that Man of Steel would do well. but when I saw the trailers and all,it seemed promising.
Well, after watching Man of Steel, I have to say it does have flaws but its an enjoyable movie for a non Superman fan such as me.
The special effects were pretty cool. I really liked the destruction of metropolis during the fight scenes.It was as though Hulk was fighting instead.Even though the fight scenes were great,it was a tad too long. Superman fights General Zod, Zod takes a break,goes back to the ship rests and then comes back for round 2?
The fathers did a good job acting. Costner did well whenever he was onscreen and Crowe as well.The thing that made me laugh was when Crowe was in control of the ship and he does those funny hand signs to close doors and the walking to one shot to the next.Hilarious.
Michael Shannon did a good job as Zod but he ain't no Terence Stamp.
This is possibly the most boring Louis Lane I've seen. They shouldn't have cast Amy Adams as Louis.However I do like Henry Cavill as the new Superman. He has a fantastic body and I hope he does well in the sequel as well.
Camera works were inconsistent. I hated the abrupt and yet constant zooming. The close up of Superman flying was fucked up. Script was ok nothing great. I fucking hated the church scene especially that shot where you see Jesus behind Superman.That was unnecessary and stupid. Costumes for the Kryptonians were cool even Superman's costume minus the red underwear was nice.
The explanation of why Superman's weakness for Krypton was not bad also. Though I'm not sure if it is in line with the comics. That whole kotex or codex bit which looks like a monkey's skull,I have no clue. Guess you have to ask a hardcore Superman fan whether that bit is part of the comics.

All in all I would recommended to watch it on a weekend. Man of Steel may not be great but it sure beats the last one.


Best Quotes
General Zod: [transmission] My name is General Zod. For some time, your world has sheltered one of my citizens. I request that you return this individual to my custody. To Kal-El, I say this: surrender within 24 hours, or watch this world suffer the consequences...

Jor-El: Goodbye, my son. Our hopes and dreams travel with you.

Lara Lor-Van: He will be an outcast. They'll kill him.

Jor-El: How? He'll be a god to them.

Faora: [Beating up Cal-El] You have a sense of morality and we do not. And that gives us an Evolutionary Advantage. And if there's one thing that History teaches us it's that Evolution always wins.

Lois Lane: Welcome to the Planet.

Recommended movies done by the director
Dawn of the Dead
300
Watchmen

Movie Review of Evil Dead

Evil Dead - 8/10
Directed by Fede Alvarez
Written by Fede Alvarez, Rodo Sayagues
Cast - Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Elizabeth Blackmore, Jessica Lucas

Plot Summary
Five friends head to a remote cabin, where the discovery of a Book of the Dead leads them to unwittingly summon up demons living in the nearby woods. The evil presence possesses them until only one is left to fight for survival.

Review
Its pretty obvious that most horror remakes totally suck ass especially remaking the classic ones. They fucked up so many classics that I just stopped being bothered after awhile.so when I heard news that Evil Dead was gonna be remade,I naturally became skeptical and decided to pass it off. Then I saw the trailer.There was one scene that did kinda freak me out. I was still a little skeptical cause after all Evil Dead might still suck even though it had one pretty awesome scene. So I decided to watch Evil Dead with my best friend who was a horror fan as well. Basically we had to go by ourselves because our girlfriends told us to fuck off when we suggested to watch it together.

Right from the very start,the first scene wiped out whatever skepticism I had and I knew I was in for a hell of a ride. There are several reasons why I thoroughly enjoyed Evil Dead.

They didn't do that boring overused "shock horror" which American cinema often uses. Instead of shock,what they did was gore. All the kill scenes were gory and does make you groan.in fact the whole fucking cinema was groaning. I laughed out damn loud when a guy behind me was telling his female friend,"I don't want to watch this movie anymore." That was how brutal it was. And I loved the kill scenes.
Very little CGI was used for this movie. Most of it was the fantastic use of make up,props and clever camera works. There were a lot of still shots used which can be used for cool wallpapers and all.I was also happy that the classic track shot in the original Evil dead was used as well.
Acting was a little fucked up especially at the beginning part of the movie where everyone was still normal and all.But they all acted superbly when all hell broke loose.I guess the casting director chose these unknown actors for a reason and it was for the later.
Another thing I liked about the new Evil Dead is the little tributes for classic movies such as The Exorcist and the original Evil Dead. there were a few scenes, that really reminded me of my all time favourite horror movie, The Exorcist which brought a smile to my face.
I really liked the direction of this movie and would definitely check out Fede Alvarez's next movie. And I would definitely watch the sequel for Evil Dead as well.(Which was signed up even before the movie was released)
Of course the remake will never beat the original Evil Dead,however it was enjoyable and worth the ticket price.

Highly recommended to watch it on a weekend. just watch it with minimal expectations and you are in for a gory ride. Wait for the credits to end.

Best Quotes
Abomination Mia: Why don't you come down here so I can suck your cock, pretty boy?

David: Mia?

Abomination Mia: Mia's not here you fucking idiot! Your little sister's being raped in hell!


Cheryl: You will die! Like the others before you, one by one, we will take you!

[Mia becomes eerily calm]

Mia: You're all going to die tonight.


Eric: [reading from the Naturom Demonto] Kunda... Estrata... Montose... Conda.


Abomination Mia: Baby, little baby / It's time to live apart / Baby, little baby / I'll miss you a lot / Baby, my sweet baby / I'll write you every day / Baby, goodnight baby / I wish that I could stay


Groovy.

Movie review of G I Joe: Retaliation

G I Joe: Retaliation - 2/10

Directed by Jon M. Chu
Cast - Channing Tatum, Dwayne Johnson, Byung Hun Lee, Ray Park,Ray Stevenson

Plot Summary
Framed for crimes against the country, the G.I. Joe team is terminated by the President's order, and the surviving team members face off against Zartan, his accomplices, and the world leaders he has under his influence.


Review
Sometimes there are certain types of movie which I call"no brainer" movies where you don't give a fuck about the plot or anything, You just leave your brains out and get entertained by the actions and explosions(for example,Michael Bay's movies).
Sadly G I Joe: Retaliation isn't one of those movies. The first one sucked ass and this one sucks ass as well.Definitely one of the worst sequels, I have watched. Not even The Rock can save this movie. Heck..Not even Bruce Willis could save it.What a disaster. Wasted money watching this shit of a sequel.
Acting was bad....really bad. Direction was horrible and worse was the editing.Fucking lanjiao editing.Script was shit also.All the jokes are so bad,you wouldn't realize they were jokes.
GI Joe fans must be really pissed.First movie fucked up,now the sequel also. Within fifteen mins, You kill off Duke which was the main character for the first one and for GI Joe.Wasn't Channing Tatum,one of the top billing for this movie? Bruce Willis acted like he was still pissed about doing the fifth Die Hard(which was shit also). The women in the movie were just there for eye candy and showing off their fake tits. Cobra Commander has lesser screen time than you taking a shit.But hey at least he has the proper mask on unlike the bubble wrap looking mask from the last movie. Even lesser screen time was Destro. You could miss him in a fart. Zartan is in disguise 95% of the whole movie so its pretty much double acting by Jonathan Pryce. Ray Stevenson who is British acts as Firefly who has a Texan accent...Sigh...
Then you have Storm Shadow and Snake eyes who possibly are the reason why I give this movie a two instead of a zero.
Rock may have revived the Fast and Furious franchise but he is sure as shit not gonna do GI Joe any saving.


In fact Fuck GI Joe. I will never fucking watch any more GI Joe movies anymore.



Best quotesJoe Colton: You alright?
Lady Jaye: Yeah. Are you alright?
Joe Colton: My cholesterol is a little high.


Recommended movies done by the director.
None.The fucker directed Justin Bieber's never say never. So he can fuck off and die.

Movie review of Oblivion

Oblivion - 8/10
Directed by Joseph Kosinski
Cast - Tom Cruise,Morgan Freeman, Olga Kurylenko, Andrea Riseborough

Plot Summary
One of the few remaining drone repairmen assigned to Earth, its surface devastated after decades of war with the alien Scavs, discovers a crashed spacecraft with contents that bring into question everything he believed about the war, and may even put the fate of mankind in his hands.

Review
All I can say after watching Oblivion is Cruise is back!!! What an awesome movie and a pleasant surprise, Oblivion turned out to be. I enjoyed it right to the very end.
Oblivion has a very good storyline which I cannot reveal anything as the spoilers will fuck the ride up. I will be as vague as possible. The effects are really good. I also liked the costumes for the movie. It has a mix of both futuristic and apocalyptic feel to it. I also liked the script and the direction was good as well.
Acting was fantastic. Cruise as usual did a fantastic job. His last movie, Jack Reacher was utter rubbish. I'm so glad he did this movie cause I don't think any other actor could pull it off. Morgan Freeman was at his usual best. The guy rarely gives a mediocre performance and he chooses his movies wisely as well.The surprise for me was Andrea Riseborough. I have not seen her any of her other movies but she pretty much stole the movie each time she was on screen. The only letdown for Oblivion was Olga Kurylenko. Her acting was atrocious. I kept cringing and groaning whenever she was onscreen. Her acting was so bad that even the drones acted better.My only flaw for the movie was Olga's acting.
I'm not gonna say much about the drones but to me, they are the stars of the movie. They are bound to creep you out. The drones had this 2001:Space odyssey vibe to them which I thoroughly enjoyed.

Worth watching on a weekend. You can also watch it with a loved one and get ready with a fantastic ride to Oblivion.
Just take note...after the movie,you will never look at a red light the same again.

Best Quotes

Jack Harper: 60 years ago, Earth was attacked. We won the war, but they destroyed half the planet. Every one's been evacuated. Nothing human remains. We're here for drone repair. We're the "mop-up crew".

Jack Harper: If we have souls, they're made of the love we share. Undimmed by time, unbound by death.

Jack Harper: Fuck you, Sally.

Sally: Are you an effective team?

Recommended movies done by the director
Tron Legacy