Movie review of Things we lost in the fire

Things we lost in the fire - 6/10
Directed by Susuanne Bier
Cast - benicio del toro,halle berry,david duchovny

Plot Summary
A recent widow invites her husband's troubled best friend who is a heroin addict to live with her and her two children. As he gradually turns his life around, he helps the family cope and confront their loss.

Review
An interesting non - Hollywood type of movie. Direction was done really nicely. I loved the camerawork. Especially shots of the actors' eyes through different scenarios and emotions. Editing was done fairly well.
The cast in this movie was good and it's been awhile since I last saw Halle Berry in a good role, her last few movies were pretty much shit.The scene stealer is definitely Benicio Del Toro. Everytime he appears in a scene,he acts it out fucking brilliantly while oozing coolness. Worth watching this movie just for Del Toro.

Best quote
Jerry Sunborne: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Audrey Burke: What's heroin like?

Jerry Sunborne: Do you hear that expression being kissed by God?

Recommended movies by the director
None that I know of

Editors note; Things We Lost In The Fire is a 2007 drama film directed by Susanne Bier and written by Allan Loeb. The film was released in the United States and Canada on 191007 and in the UK on 010208

Movie review of the Happening

The Happening - 2/10
Directed by M.Night Shyamalan
Cast - Mark Wahlberg,John Leguizamo,Zooey Deschanel

Plot Summary
A paranoid thriller about a family on the run from a natural crisis that presents a large-scale threat to humanity.

Review
I had a pretty hard time choosing which is the worse, M.Night Shyamalan's movie, Lady in the Water or The Happening. The Happening came a very close 2nd.
The Happening has a horrible plot, a fucked up script and terrible bad acting. Sadly this is written,produced and directed by M.Night Shyamalan. What the fuck was he thinking. It's pretty obvious he has lost the plot. Don't get me wrong I still think he is a pretty good director. There are some scenes which were shot very nicely, but I think it's high time he stops writing cause the fucking stories are getting more and more silly. It's also high time he does some other shit instead of thrillers. I am sick and tired of his Hitchcock-esque style. M.Night Shyamalan ain't no Hitchcock and he should stop trying to be.
The script was probably written by a five year old or a retard.To make matters worse,you have really bad actors doing your fuckall script. Mark Wahlberg aka Marky Mark was doing a really bad impersonation of Keanu Reeves. Not only does he speak in a monotous tone,it was high pitched and whiny.And trust me..its starts getting really annoying after awhile. Zooey Deschanel cannot do serious roles. She belongs in the teenage romantic roles or comedic ones. The only saving grace from this movie was John Leguizamo when he gets killed within the first 15 mins of the movie. Brian O'halloran aka Dante Hicks of Clerks is in the movie as well, but only in a cameo role. The editing is terrible,it's so badly done that you have no idea what the fuck is going on from one scene to the next.
If you haven't watch this movie in the cinema, don't waste your money and don't even bother renting it.

Best Quote
Nursery Owner: I think I know what's causing this.
Elliot Moore: You do?
Nursery Owner: It's the plants. They can release chemicals.

Recommended movies by the director
Sixth Sense

Movie review of The Oxford Murders

The Oxford Murders - 2/10

Directed by Alex De La Iglesia

Cast - John Hurt,Elijah Wood

Plot Summary

At Oxford University, a professor and a grad student work together to try and stop a potential series of murders seemingly linked by mathematical symbols.

Review

What a fucked up movie! Definitely one of the worst murder mystery "who done it" ever. Totally ruined my sunday cause I watched the Oxford murders and The Happening.

There are 6 reasons why I hated this movie. Here they are;

1.Bad acting.

The women in this movie acted as though they had something up their arses all the time.John Hurt whom I thought was a good actor did a fuckall job, everytime he is onscreen and starts blabbering around,I just wished the Chestbuster(from the movie Alien) would pop out of his chest and kill him so he won't have to continue.

2.Elijah Wood.

I think he threw his acting skills along with the ring when he went to Mordor in Lord of the Rings. Fucker keeps thinking he is Frodo freaking Baggins. In this movie, he is supposed to be an American in Oxford university(England), but he keeps changing his accent...sometimes in an American accent and sometimes in a shitty British accent.(no American will says "fucking hell"). This pundei acts only well when he doesn't have to fucking talk (Sin City).

3.The script.

Just because the movie is done in Oxford University, doesn't mean you have to include big boombastic words in your script to fool your viewers. Some of us viewers may never have been to a university but that doesn't mean we are idiots either.Absolute Rubbish! And thats was what I thought about the script.

4.Editing.

I'm pretty sure the editing team are deaf and blind.

5.The Plot.

Definitely the shittiest plot ever.

As the movie drags on, the more pissed off you will get.

6. Love scene.

There is so much bad acting in this particular scene even porn actors have done better jobs in acting.

British chick(Leonor Watling) with big tits trying to fuck the hobbit (Elijah Wood), bumbling all over the bed and...there is a plate of spaghetti involved. You would go "what the fuck" as I did when you see that.

Dont even bother watching this movie and avoid it at all cost.

Best Quote
None.

Recommended movies by the director

None

Editors note: This movie is based on a award-winning novel by the Argentine author Guillermo Martínez, first published in 2003. Like a said before, usually the books are much better.

Movie review of You don't mess with the Zohan

You don't mess with the Zohan - 5.5/10
Directed by Dennis Dugan
Cast - Adam Sandler,John Turturro,Rob Schneider

Plot Summary
A Mossad agent fakes his death so he can re-emerge in New York City as a hair stylist.

Review
Not one of Adam Sandler's classics, but it will do. As usual, Sandler has his own bunch of comedians acting and some of them did a pretty good job. There are a few scenes and jokes which are indeed pretty hilarious but apart from that,this movie is nothing fantastic. Sadly most of the jokes were pretty stale.

Worth watching on a weekday, unless you are a Adam Sandler fan and if you have nothing else to watch then Dont mess with the Zohan will do on a weekend.

Best Quote
Michael: Well, tonight's our night for the Community Nightwatch.

Zohan: The Communism tight crotch? What?

Recommended movies by the director
Happy Gilmore
I pronounce you Chuck and Larry
Beverly Hill Ninja(Chris Farley)

Movie review of The Incredible Hulk

The Incredible Hulk - 7/10
Directed by Louis Leterrier
Cast - Edward Norton,Liv Tyler,Tim Roth,William Hurt

Plot Summary
Fugitive Dr. Bruce Banner must utilize the genetic accident that transforms him into a giant, rampaging hulk to stop a former soldier that purposely becomes an even more dangerous version,the Abomination.

Review
This is soooo much better than Ang Lee's Hulk in so many ways. Ang Lee's Hulk looked like fuck and was a fucking poofter and the storyline was shit as well. The new hulk is shorter and looks much more menancing, grittier and darker. This movie is just like what Batman begins did to the Dark Knight franchise....a makeover. Even though there are a few flaws in this movie, I still found it awesome.
the casting this time is different but good as well. Norton is the new Bruce Banner in which he does pretty well. Tyler is the new Betty Ross and she wasn't so bad except that in some scenes she acts just alittle too much.

Hurt does a way much better General Ross than Sam Elliott though (no disrespect to Elliott) and finally Tim Roth is the bad guy(as always). When Roth acts as a bad guy, he IS the baddest muthafucker around! Roth plays the character Emil Blonsky aka Abomination to perfection which was just fucking brilliant.
The most fucked up thing about this movie was the script. All the jokes were not funny and the lines were just plain horrible.There are movie references, tributes, cameo appearances and soundtrack totally made up for the flaws. You get to hear that "sad walking away song" which was classic and seeing Lou Ferrigno and Stan Lee (and the indestructible purple pants) definitely brings a smile to your face.
The reason why I'm giving this movie a 7/10 is because of the final fight scene between Hulk and Abomination.It was Fucking AWESOME!!!! Watch out for the very last scene where general Ross meets someone rather familiar who offers a proposal,which is definitely gonna make you cum in your pants if it really happens. Definitely worth watching on a weekend!

Best Quote
Hulk: HULK SMASH!!!

Recommended movies by the director
Transporter
Danny the dog.