Movie review of Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill - 1/10
Directed by Dennis Dugan
Cast - Adam Sandler, Katie Holmes, Al Pacino

Plot Summary
Family guy Jack Sadelstein prepares for the annual event he dreads: the Thanksgiving visit of his twin sister, the needy and passive-aggressive Jill, who then refuses to leave.

Review
If you are going on a date and your date buys two tickets for the movie, Jack and Jill, do yourself a favour,spit and slap at his/her face. Adam Sandler has lost his mind and has started to use his ass to think instead.This is definitely the worst comedy he has ever done.There wasn't even a moment where I could even muster a smile.Perhaps the cameo appearance by Johnny Depp.Even that I had to force a smile like how Christina Ricci(Wednesday) did in Addams Family.Just from the plot itself,it is so fucking clear that Sandler has run out of ideas.Double act as a twin sister??? how low have you gone Sandler. If this was supposed to be a fucking family movie,it has failed at that as well.Brother becomes rich and famous,doesn't give two shits about his mom,makes his twin sister look after the mother and when mother is dead,doesn't give two shits about twin sister,pimps out his twin sister to an actor he is trying to get into doing a commercial.Only an inbred family would watch this. Worst fucking plot ever.
My hatred for this movie dwells even deeper when I saw the cast.Katie Holmes...My 2nd most hated actress.(First place goes to Katherine Heigl.why? she is a slut for popularity and a made in china version of Charlize Theron).Katie Holmes cant fucking act and has a weird retarded smile.Its a good thing she has very limited screen time for this cause nobody likes her and nobody wants to see her.Adam Sandler was never known to be a good actor,he may have done well in PT Anderson's Punch Drunk Love but that's about it. But he was a good comedian,from Saturday night live to his Happy Madison movies in the 90's.Sadly neither did he act nor was he the least bit funny in Jack and Jill.AND WHAT IN BLUE HELL IS AL PACINO DOING IN THIS SHIT INFESTED MOVIE??? He made a complete mockery of himself.Every fucking time he appears in the screen,I fucking groan and feel embarrassed. From Godfather to Scarface to this??If this was his attempt in going into comedy,he should fucking fire his agent.What the fuck was he thinking??? The last scene where he did the dunkin donut commercial.That was just fucking sad.
And speaking of the last scene,that part where both twins finally forgive each other and reunite,they spoke in some retarded baby talk which they created.Fucking stupid....so fucking stupid that I wish I could cut Adam Sandler's heart out with a spoon.(Thank you Alan Rickman)

Avoid this movie like the plague.

Best quotes
None.

Recommended movies done by the director
Happy Gilmore

Movie review of Sherlock Holmes: A game of shadows

Sherlock Holmes: A game of shadows - 4.5/10
Directed by Guy Ritchie
Cast - Robert Downey Jr,Jude Law,Noomi Rapace, Jared Harris, Rachel McAdams

Plot Summary
Sherlock Holmes and his sidekick Dr. Watson join forces to outwit and bring down their fiercest adversary, Professor Moriarty.

Review
Guy Ritchie's two best movies will forever be Lock, stock and two smoking barrels and Snatch. Everything after that was shit.Sadly I have been watching all his other movies, hoping he would redeem himself but it just keeps getting worse.Right until Sherlock Holmes.Despite a few fuck ups here and there ,I still found the first Sherlock Holmes entertaining. Now it wasn't vintage as lock stock or snatch.It was just bearable.
So when the sequel came out,I thought to myself, this could be better or at least...bearable.Unfortunately it was neither.It was long,boring and repetitive.There were times in the movie,the struggle to keep awake was much more exciting. The script was bad and the acting was mediocre.RDJ's British accent sounds so forced,exaggerated and fake at times.Jude Law played a pretty good sidekick as Dr Watson.The beautiful Noomi Rapace of The girl with a dragon tattoo (original) fame was not so bad,well there wasn't enough screen time for her.But she's a good actress and I'm looking forward to seeing her in the new Ridley Scott movie.Rachel McAdams sadly only appears about ten mins and fucking dies.Jared Harris who portrays Sherlock Holmes arch nemesis,Professor Moriarty was boring and plain.I just wished someone else more villainous could have done much better.
I did however liked the plot but direction has pretty much ruined this movie.There was too much emphasis on the visual effects and the slow motion fight scenes.The fight choreography was good but do we need to see that whole slow motion fight sequence in the mind before the fight thingy all the fucking time? I remember watching that "fighting in the mind" thing in a Zhang Yimou movie.It was Donnie Yen vs Jet Li.Can't remember the title though.
That being said. Guy Ritchie is back on my list of shit directors.Whatever he does will probably have a 70% chance of turning to shit unlike Brett Ratner who by any means of associating himself in a movie,That movie will be shit,Fuck Brett Ratner and Fuck Guy Ritchie.

Not worth watching on a weekend.Just wait for TV release.

Best Quote
Sherlock Holmes: Uh, hmm... Right. Where are the wagons?
Madam Simza Heron: The wagon is too slow. Can't you ride?
Dr. John Watson: It's not that he can't ride... How is it you put it, hon?
Sherlock Holmes: They're dangerous at both ends and... crafty in the middle. Why would I want anything with a mind of its own bobbing about between my legs?

Sherlock Holmes: [referring to his disguise] It's so overt it's covert.

Recommended movies done by the director
Lock stock and two smoking barrels
Snatch

Movie review of We bought a zoo

We bought a zoo - 6/10
Directed by Cameron Crowe
Cast - Matt Damon, Scarlett Johansson, Thomas Hayden Church

Plot Summary
Set in Southern California, a father moves his young family to the countryside to renovate and re-open a struggling zoo.

Review
I was alittle apprehensive on watching the latest Cameron Crowe flick cause his last one, Elizabethtown featuring Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom was fuckall.But this one has Matt Damon in it and so far he hasn't disappointed me yet on his choice of roles.Surprisingly, We bought a zoo was fun,touching and a feel good movie which is based on a true story.There is nothing great or fantastic about this movie but what I enjoyed was its simple approach to story telling.Nothing extravagant,no special effects and what not.
Casting was pretty good,I have to say. Matt Damon did a great job acting as a single father bringing up two kids whilst coping the loss of his wife.He was funny and convincingly touching in his scenes except for one scene where he attempts to cry while looking at pictures of his wife on a laptop.He looked like he was taking a shit instead of crying.That was bad man... Jason Bourne doesn't cry.haha. Well overall he did a great job and I don't think any other actor could have done it. Scarlett Johansson and Thomas Hayden Church were pretty much fillers for this movie.They weren't fucked up or anything.It was just that the focus of this movie was solely on Matt Damon's character and his two kids.Colin Ford and Mary Elizabeth Jones acted as Dylan and Rosie Mee.The kids acted very well and Mary Elizabeth Jones is a very cute kid who lights up the screen every time she is in it.
The editing was done well,I liked how some of the scenes were put together. Cinematography was simple and nice.Direction was good.I dare to say,Cameron Crowe is back and I hope he continues to do movies like this.

Worth watching with your family or loved ones on a weekend.

Best quotes
Benjamin Mee: You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.

Recommended movies done by the director
Jerry Maguire
Vanilla Sky
Almost Famous

Movie review of Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol

Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol - 7.5/10
Directed by Brad Bird
Cast - Tom Cruise, Simon Pegg, Jeremy Renner, Michael Nyqvist, Paul Patton,Anil Kapoor

Plot Summary
The IMF is shut down when it's implicated in the bombing of the Kremlin, causing Ethan Hunt and his new team to go rogue to clear their organization's name.

Review
I have to admit,for a movie franchise which is on its 4th movie.The Mission Impossible franchise seems to be getting better and better.Of the first three movies,I enjoyed the 3rd one alot because it was a great action film and its directed by J.J Abrams. I hated the 2nd one which was John Woo.And of course the first one is a classic spy movie done by De Palma.At first I was a little skeptical cause J.J Abrams wasn't directing this, he was only producing it.Brad Bird of The Incredibles fame was directing this fourth installment.But all my skepticism went through the door once the movie started.Ghost Protocol was definitely one of the best action films this year.From the get go,there is non stop excitement.I was so into the movie that I kept moving,dodging and wriggling through out all of the action scenes. Storyline was very interesting even though I felt it was alittle too long especially the Mumbai scenes. Some of the stunts were even performed by Tom Cruise as well.
Acting wise,I felt everyone did a pretty decent job.Cruise was cool as always.Simon Pegg was the comedian and he delivered his lines funnily.New guy Jeremy Renner of Hurt Locker fame was pretty cool.I guess he would be an apt replacement for Tom Cruise when he decides to stop as Ethan Hunt.The villain acted by Michael Nyqvist of the original Girl with the Dragon Tattoo fame was ok but just wasn't that villainous enough.The best villain of the entire Mission Impossible series would definitely go to Phillip Seymour Hoffman in MI3 without a doubt.Paul Patton was bad.That scene where she was trying to cry was very painful to watch.I was very happy to see Anil Kapoor being slapped and beaten by a woman.He was horrible.What the fuck is wrong with that fucktard? that whole scene where he was trying to act cute and woo Paul Patton was excruciating.I was embarrassed for being an Indian on that day.
Direction was brilliant.Kudos to Brad Bird for this.I also like the cinematography.Alot of shots were breathtakingly beautiful.
Overall,Ghost Protocol was well made and really fun to watch.

Definitely worth watching on a weekend.

Best Quotes
Benji Dunn: Now remember: "Blue is glue!".
Ethan Hunt: And red?
Benji Dunn: Dead.

Ethan Hunt: Mission accomplished!

Recommended movies done by the director
The Incredibles
The Iron Giant

Movie review of Warrior

Warrior - 4.5/10

Directed by Gavin O'Connor

Cast - Tom hardy, Nick Nolte, Joel Edgerton

Plot Summary

The youngest son (Hardy) of an alcoholic former boxer (Nolte) returns home, where he's trained by his father for competition in a mixed martial arts tournament -- a path that puts the fighter on a collision corner with his older brother (Edgerton).

Review

This could have been a great movie.What could have been a good storyline was fucked up by too many cliches,plot holes,continuity and an inkling of an idea of what is Mixed martial Arts about.

First the competition,there is no fucking way a fighter fights so many matches in a space of few days.That is just stupid.If they had written like say one match per month,at least that is alittle more believable.They could have added training scenes and other family bonding or emotional scenes along.It would have been definitely better.The writers could have made more use of Hardy and Edgerton instead of just fighting.And both are pretty decent actors.

I really enjoyed how Hardy and Edgerton acted as brothers that were torn apart and all but unfortunately that was just in one scene which kinda came out of nowhere.They just both happened to be at a beach???

You also briefly see scenes about the history of both brothers.Younger brother joined the marines but went AWOL,He comes back and fights in a national televised fighting event.Apparently no one knows who and where he came from but at the finals,they knew him and he was gonna kenna charged from the marines but they allowed him to fight first.Really???

Since when did the military do shit like that? Elder brother on the other hand,is a Physics teacher in school and all but he has a family and house bills and shit to pay so he gets suspended from school because he fought in some underground fighting thingy and then decides to join the same national televised event to win 5 millions bucks.And their father is a recovering alcoholic who happened to beat their mother to death or some shit like that.That is just too much shit to take in a 140mins movie.I don't know why people are giving so much praise to Nolte's performance.It was no Mickey Rourke's The Wrestler nor was it a Christian Bale's The Fighter performance.It was shit.Nick Nolte is a lanjiao actor.He's either mumbling gibberish or he is barking like a junkyard dog filled with ticks.Fuck him. Even Kurt Angle(former WWE wrestler) who acts as a Russian fighter(and I don't think he spoke) did a better job acting.

I did like the fight choreography but sadly even that was ruined by shitty camera work and editing.Whats with the fucking split screens?

Like I said earlier, This could have been a great movie.

My advice to the director and writers of this movie is simple. Its either you go the Rocky approach or you go the Rocky 2,3,4 approach.You cant have both.Because if you do,it will suck just like Rocky 5.

Just wait for the DVD release to watch this.

Best Quotes

Brendan Conlon: I know this isn't a great time. And it's too bad about Marco. But what about me?

Frank Campana: You talking about Sparta? Brendan, please. You got a better chance of starting a boy band.

Tom Conlon: Not much of a woman's touch around here.

Paddy Conlon: No women for me anymore, Tommy.

Tom Conlon: Yeah. Must be tough to find a girl who could take a punch nowadays.

Tom Conlon: So you found God, huh? That's awesome. See, Mom kept calling out for him but he wasn't around. I guess Jesus was down at the mill forgiving all the drunks. Who knew?

Recommended movies done by the director

Pride and Glory

Miracle