Monday, June 15, 2015

Movie review of San Andreas

San Andreas - 2/10
Directed by Brad Peyton
Written by Carlton Cuse, Andre Fabrizio, Jeremy Passmore
Cast - Dwayne Johnson, Carla Gugino, Alexandra Daddario, Ioan Gruffudd, Paul Giamati

Plot Summary
In the aftermath of a massive earthquake in California, a rescue-chopper pilot makes a dangerous journey across the state in order to rescue his daughter.

Review
Definitely one of the worst movies this year. If San Andreas was released 10 to 15 years ago like quite a number of disaster movies of that time, perhaps it would have stand a chance but not today. One of the many flaws of San Andreas is its heavy reliance on CGI. Yes, The CGI was spectacular but how many times are you going to watch buildings fall and get destroyed? After awhile, I really got bored with the destruction.

Casting was a disaster. You have Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock as a Black dad who is extremely muscular, and you have Carla Gugino who is white and you have Alexandra Daddario who is pale and has huge tits.The chemistry between the three doesn't seem like a family cause of the obvious age gap and it does get a little uncomfortable at times. The women in the movie will be wearing singlets at one point, shedding their clothes away and camera will be focusing on their tits from time to time. I don't even know why Ioan Gruffudd is there in the first place. Suddenly his character becomes sort of an asshole and has to be killed of spectacularly.
Acting was horrid. I could clearly see the actors pretty much didn't give a shit about acting and just did the work for a paycheck and hoping the CGI effects will cover everything.
Bad enough the acting was horrible,what didn't help at all was the script. Script was absolute shit. If the writers were trying to do those classic one liners script, they have failed miserably. There is not a single memorable one liner at all. And all of them were face palm moments and groan worthy.
One of the most ridiculous scenes that pissed the fuck out of me was the tsunami scene. The Rock and "his soon to be ex wife but she is considering to go back to him again because her current boyfriend who is filthy rich but becomes as asshole later on the movie" wife, Carla are on a boat trying to rescue their daughter. They reach the docks, the Rock notices that there is a tsunami waiting to happen so he drives to boat towards the tsunami beating other boats to go above the huge fucking wave,that was coming towards them. As they reach the top of the wave, suddenly a huge ship is right in front of them and they can swerve the fucking boat away from the ship, missing them. They manage to go above the wave and still can stop to look back. "Fuck you Cheebye." That's what i said at the end of that scene.

When the trailer first came out, I thought they were making a movie out of the game, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas which has a little truth to it cause the fucking protagonist can drive any fucking vehicle. From planes to helicopters to boats to cars. Knn.

Don't watch this crap in the cinemas. It is a waste of money. In fact, don't even bother watching this movie at all, at least your blood pressure wont go up. Fuck San Andreas.


Quotes
None

Recommended movies done by the director
None

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