Saturday, July 19, 2014

Movie review of Transformers: Age of extinction

Transformers: Age of extinction - 2/10
Directed by Michael Bay
Written by Ehren Kruger
Cast -  Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Nicola Peltz

Plot Summary
A mechanic and his family join the Autobots as they are targeted by a bounty hunter from another world.

Review
This is the fourth transformer movie by Michael Bay. If there is anything that has taught me when watching a Michael bay movie is that you have to throw logic, acting, script and continuity out of the fucking window. Even then also you will end up getting pissed off by a director who likes explosions and loud noises. That's how bad it is.
Casting was quite sad. There's Mark Wahlberg whom I was just starting to like his choices of movies does this garbage which goes back to his Marky mark days. It was bad enough when all Shia Lebouf had to do was shout optimus or bumblebee through out the fucking movie. This time round Marky mark doesn't do much shouting but is a complete douchebag who happens to be an inventor in a barn. HAHAHAHA. I can't make this shit up. And then there's his 17 year old daughter who wears very skimpy shorts. There's even a shot of her ass which is kinda sad. Here's the best part. She has an Irish boyfriend who has an Australian fucking accent and is a rally car driver of sort and they have been having sex and he says its legal in Texas because of a romeo and juliet law which he happens to keep with him. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Did Bay just made underage sex OK? It's amazing the shit he gets away with. No idea why Stanley Tucci is in this. He was like a Steve Jobs kinda character but worse. And then there are the transformers. The fuck is up with Optimus Prime and the Autobots. half the fuck time they are fighting among each other and then prime is either getting stuck in some shit, dying or pissed at humans. The whole movie he wasn't flying and suddenly at the end of the movie the fucker flies. yup he fucking flies!!! The only good thing about the whole movie is Lockdown, a bounty hunter of sorts. he had a pretty cool entry and all right until his face turns into a fucking cannon that looks like a penis. And then there was Galvatron who turns out to be a complete pussy comes in halfway through the movie and then disappears towards the end. And the script is just plain horrible and cringe worthy. I can't believe all these actors saying some really stupid lines and not feel really dumb saying it. And then there were the Dinobots. Quite possibly the highlight of this movie and they only appear at the end of the movie. They don't talk and Grimlock's name never gets mentioned. Sigh...

Age of Extinction is almost 3 hours long. There are so many unnecessary scenes like the whole fucking Hong Kong scene should have been cut. The ideal time for a Michael bay movie should be 1.5 hours. Anything more than that just makes me want to punch the fucker.
As usual Michael Bay has made another movie filled with explosions and blatant product advertisements. This time round the product placements are so obvious that it makes it seem that there are commercials within the movie itself. And now that piece of shit gave nostrils to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and oh they aren't mutants but aliens.
Fuck you Michael Bay. Seriously Fuck you...

Recommended movies done by the director
Bad Boys
Armageddon
Con Air

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