Wednesday 7 May 2008

Movie review of Forbidden Kingdom

Forbidden Kingdom - 4/10
Directed by
Cast - Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and some white kid.

Plot Summary
A discovery made by a kung fu obsessed American WHITE BOY sends him on an adventure to China, where he joins up with a band of martial arts warriors in order to free the imprisoned Monkey King.

Review
If this movie was done in chinese, it would have been brilliant but sadly it was done by a director who does kids movies. This movie has so many fuck ups especially in the acting department and the script. I'm not sure if it was intentional( tribute to the kungfu movies of the 70's) or just plain bad acting.
Everyone should know by now that Jet Li and Jackie Chan should refrain from talking in English and just let their kungfu do the talking. Whenever they start talking (in English), I wished I was watching a dvd so I could just switch on the subtitles and understand what the fuck are they saying.
To make things even more irritating, you have this fucking irritating CUNT who is known as the golden fucking sparrow who happens to be on a revenge mission and only TALKS IN A 3RD PERSON PERSPECTIVE. What the fuck right??? Someone should have seriously slapped her during the movie. I was glad she died in the end.
The only saving grace from this movie is the fight scene between Jet Li and Jackie Chan. Choreographed by Woo Ping Yuen. You can see classic fight stances from drunken master and all.
Dont waste your money watching this movie in the cinema. Just wait to rent the dvd.

Best Quote
Jason Tripitikas: He needs wine. It's his elixir.

Medicine Monk: We will send a walking monk.

Lu Yan: Don't you have a running monk?

Recommended movies by the director
The Lion King
Stuart Little

1 comment:

muppet said...

Third Person Perspective - that sounds so familiar. I wonder why. Why?