Movie review of Avatar: The Way of Water.

 Avatar: The Way of Water - 6/10

Directed by James Cameron

If you are going to watch Avatar: The Way of Water in the cinemas, make sure you pee at least twice before you go in and get snacks. The movie is 3 hours 12 mins long. Tamil movies also lose lah. Snacks are for some parts where it gets draggy af.

I remember watching Avatar when it first came out in 2009 and I watched in 3D and that was a cinematic experience. If the sequel was released earlier, I would probably enjoy it as well. Sadly, Avatar 2 is released 13 years later. 

Visually, it's beautiful. Pandora looks amazing. There is also some cutting edge technology used to film. I was watching the behind the scenes and I have to say, they really levelled up for this.

But besides that, frankly I wasn't really impressed with the acting nor the story. The casting wasn't all that great either. One of my gripes of Avatar 2 was this. Do I really need to see the same villain again? I mean Stephen Lang was awesome in the first movie. He died at the end. Do we really need to see him again in Avatar 2? For what? No other actors to be villain ah? Same goes to Sigourney Weaver. She was good in the first one. Why is she in this as a 14 year old kid? For what? It's not just weird for a grown ass woman to play a 14 year old kid, I didn't really get the reason why either. Some shit about memory storage which was quickly explained. Zoe Saldana half the fuck time she is growling like a cat or shouting incoherent shit. Sam Worthington narrating is about as exciting as watching grass grow. 

There were some new actors joining in the cast as well. Kate Winslet is one of them. She didn't really have much scenes. I was hoping for her to go against Zoe Saldana's character but they only pretty much growled at each other for a bit. Eddie Falco would have been a good new villain for this but her scenes were limited as well. The kids in Avatar 2 are quite annoying. There's one fucker, the human kid. He goes around jumping like Mowgli from Jungle Book but with dreadlocks. I was hoping he would die. Fuck him.

The script is also pretty bad. Why are all the Navi kids talking like surfer dudes? bruh this bruh that. Just because they are sea people now ah? And why the Navi adults all talk like they are fengshui masters. It's damn annoying.

The story sadly is tame. There wasn't really a big climatic scene like the first Avatar. Somewhere around the 2 hour mark, it gets really boring and draggy. The whole teaching the Sully family to be sea people. If you need to pee, that's a good time to do so cos you are not missing much. 

All in all, Avatar: The way of water is quite mediocre. If you really want to watch it in the cinema, watch it on a Monday, cos spending $16 bucks on this is not worth it. Just wait for the stream. 

Luckily James Cameron filmed part 3 and 4 of Avatar concurrently so we probably will get to see them in the next few years. If the Avatar series doesn't do well, he might end it as a trilogy. He was also quoted saying How many people gives a shit about Avatar now?

I for one, do not but I will watch the 3rd fucking one or anything James Cameron comes out. Cos its James fucking Cameron.

Movie review of Blonde

 Blonde - 2/10

Directed by Andrew Dominik.

What a terribly boring movie. Watching grass grow is far more exciting than watching this 3 hour crap. Watching Blonde is like watching a pirated version of a Terrence Malick movie and fuck Terrence Malick.

Why would you wanna make a movie of Marilyn Monroe but use a fictionalized book? The way the movie was made was terrible. Granted there are a few very nice shots. But its like for every 1 good shot, there will be 5 shit shots. Terrible close ups and some really shit transitions. And what's with the fucking colour? some scenes are colour and some are black and white. Why? If the whole movie is black and white, it would be good.

According to Andrew Dominik, the script contains little dialogue and he has described the film as being an "avalanche of images and events." It's not an avalanche of images and events, its more like a fucking video montage edited by kids. And yes, whatever little script there was, it was fucking terrible. So many cringe worthy lines. Knn, all her husbands, MM calls them, Daddy. It's like porn script lah.

Andrew Dominik had perhaps 2 good movies. Chopper and Killing them softly. This is definitely his worst. I don't think I'm going to follow any of his future movies.

The acting in Blonde is so inconsistent. There are some well known casts in this but all of them were hits and misses. Quite a number of reviews, says Ana De Armas was really good in this. Nope. She was shit as well. She tries very hard to get the Monroe accent but its inconsistent. Every now and then, you get the latino accent. Her make up was terrible as well.

Marilyn Monroe, no matter how troubled she was, she was a decent actress and was an icon. Blonde is just basically exploiting her one more time even though she is dead. I would love to watch a proper biography of her though.

All in all, even if you have 3 hours of your life to spare, don't bother watching Blonde. Watch grass grow instead.

Movie review of Prey

Prey - 8/10

Finally lah! A fucking Predator movie that did not suck ass. Prey is directed by Dan Trachtenberg and written by Patrick Aison. I thoroughly enjoyed and loved all the Predator 1 and 2 subtle references. Prey does have a few flaws but still it is really good and Predator fans will be happy, this didn't turn to shit.

When I first found out there will be another Predator movie coming out and it was titled Prey. I didn't give it much hope. Cos all the Predator movies after Predator 2 were terrible. Yes, there were really good designs of the Predators but still the stories were all shit. Especially the last one which was directed by Shane Black. That was absolutely the worst. Super Predator??? your mother cheebye lah, Shane. Fuck you. I had zero confidence before watching Prey even though there were early reviews saying it was good. I have to say after watching Prey, its definitely up there and I loved it alot. Definitely watching this a few times for sure.

Before I go on about Prey, here is what I didn't quite like about it. The language. The cast are from the Commanche Tribe, Native Indians. I wished the Indians spoke in their native tongue instead of English and have English subs instead, to make it more authentic. Like the Mel Gibson directed movie, Apocalypto. The filmakers wanted it that way but unfortunately the studios wanted it in English. I can't blame them, cos Americans are generally stupid and they can't read and watch so everything must be handed out to them on a fucking plate. There is a native tongue version but its dubbed so fuck that.

The other thing I didn't really like is the Predator's mask/helmet. Yes I understand, it's a different type of Predator, and it's called a Feral Predator and it is set 300 years ago so the Predators are not that advanced themselves. Maybe... if I watch a few times more, I will grow to like it. Also the Predator is a little bit skinny lah and the hair kenna rebonded that looks like a Malaysian Indian girl instead of the dreadlocks. Again, I will watch it a few times more, then I will grow to like it.

The new weapons are a bit of a hit and miss for me. I loved the spear/dual sword weapon. That was fucking cool. The grenade thing that launches 3 spinning things? Meh. The millipede curling knife thing was abit meh for me as well. Maybe I watch again and see how I feel about it lah.

I love the cast of Prey. Amber Midhunter as Naru and Dakota Beavers as Taabe were brilliant. Amber as the lead actress is just fantastic. I hope to see more of her and hopefully in a sequel. The cast were mostly Native Indians and none of them looked like beefcakes. Just ordinary looking Indians against the Feral Predator. The whole vibe of the movie reminded me of the First Predator movie and Apocalypto because of the chase between the hunter and hunted. 

It took them about 4 years to get Prey written and done and it is worth the wait. Another good thing is that it is not PG13 shit so do expect some really awesome kill scenes.

I really enjoyed the pace of the movie. It starts a little slow with very lush and beautiful scenic shots but midway through the movie it gets intense and towards the end, it is really edge of your seat action. CGI was decent. The fight scenes are brilliantly choreographed and fucking epic. Especially the one between the siblings and the Predator and the final climatic fight scene between Naru and the feral Predator.

I also liked how the feral Predator starts his killings from small to big and he keeps going at it. The most stand out reference is of course the pistol which was from Predator 2. I was really happy about that cos finally there is a nod to Predator 2 which is often left out. The other references were of course about the original which everyone loves. Good thing there is no fucking choppa!

All in all, Prey is a fucking brilliant movie and all Predator fans should watch this at least twice. Do watch the animation credits till the end cos it does reveal something.

Prey is available on Hulu now. If it bleeds, we can kill it.

Everything Everywhere All At Once

 Everything Everywhere All At Once - 8/10

What an amazing movie. I was totally captivated from the story to the editing and cinematography. It's one of those movies where you chance upon it and it is a gem. I knew about this movie from a friend and he told me to check it out. It's a good thing I did.

Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert are the directors for Everything Everywhere All At Once and they written it as well. Another amazing fact about the movie is the entire effects were all done by just 9 people including the 2 directors. And they didn't go to a vfx school, they learned by themselves through tutorials they found free online! And once you watch the movie, you will be astounded by the effects. For me, I loved it!

I liked the cast for EEAAO. Michelle Yeoh is still a good actor and she looks great! Stephanie Hsu was good as well and I loved her numerous costume and make up. There is also a barely recognizable Jamie Lee Curtis and Lo Pan from Big Trouble in Little China, James Hong. For a guy that old, still acting is a feat itself. The one actor that took me awhile to remember was the actor whose character is Waymond Wang. Ke Huy Quan aka Short Round from Indiana Jones and Data from The Goonies. This guy hasn't done anything in 20 years! He has definitely aged well and I managed to recognize from his voice. It was so good to see him back on screen. Data was always one of my fav Goonies. Not just the acting is good, the script was good as well. 

The biggest factor to watch Everything Everywhere all at once is without a doubt the VFX. It's damn good and quirky. Its hard to believe that this was all done by 9 people. The story is funny and quirky and has a good feel to it.

All in all, Everything Everywhere All at Once is a fantastic movie and everyone should watch it.

Movie review of Fantastic Beasts: The secrets of Dumbledore

 Fantastic Beasts: The secrets of Dumbledore - 4.5/10

I'm a big fan of the Harry Potter series. Read all the books and watched all the movies. When the first Fantastic Beasts came out, I enjoyed it as well. The second one was a tad confusing cos of who's siding who and all. in anticipation of the third one, I rewatched the first two just to recap.

The secrets of Dumbledore is third movie out of a five part series of Fantastic Beasts. Sadly, we do not have Johnny Depp of Grindelwald cos of that fucking lying, violent, shitting bitch, Amber Turd. Depp got replaced by Mads Mikkelsen who is cool but not ice cool as the Deppster.

I loved the first Fantastic beasts. It was fun and I enjoyed it. To be honest, the second one was a bit of a drag and quite confusing. It was kind of stupid how some chose to side with Grindelwald like Queenie. What the fuck was that about?

Mads taking over as Grindelwald was a little bland. No doubt, Mads is a good actor but his stoic look just doesn't seem right for me. Depp was perfect and could have been a memorable villain as Fiennes as Voldemort. But alas, shit happened. Quite literally on Depp's bed. 

Secrets of Dumbledore isn't as confusing as the second one but it is rather dull. Somehow it feels like the story is just dragging just to make it five movies so they can milk the audience. I always found Dan Fogler's character funny but this time round he wasn't as funny as before. I could barely recognize the cock who joined Grindelwald as well. Fucking Queenie Goldstein. Ezra Miller as Creedence has barely any scenes or lines and looks bored as fuck. Worst was Katherine Waterston as Tina. She was prominent in the first and only appears towards the end for the third movie.

All in all, I love the Harry Potter series but Fantastic Beasts not as much and I probably would wait to watch it on streaming platforms rather than watching it in the cinema cause it is really starting to bore me.